#51 The Ant Bully

#51 The Ant Bully

Year: 2006

Director: John A. Davis

MPAA Rating: PG

Epic Co-stars: Bruce Campbell, Paul Giamatti

Running Time: 88 minutes
Cage Time: 30%
Cage Kills: 0
Cage Flip-outs: 1

Skyler's Review: 

In the Ant Bully, Nic Cage plays a sarcastic ant sorcerer named Zoc. That is trying desperately to brew a potion of Reduce Person. You see, there is a kid out there that likes to mess with the ants' nice little civilization, usually in the form of squirt gun. The ants call the kid, "Peanut the Destroyer." Zoc wants to give the potion to the kid so that he will be easy to kill.

Zoc, a wizard ant who wishes to use his magic to go the greater good for the colony.

The Julia Roberts ant says "No! We can rehabilitate!" They let Peanut try to join the community, but his attitude is terrible. Not surprisingly, the kid learns the way of the ants and they grow to respect each other. Danger happens, then they overcome it together. In the end, Zoc makes an Enlarge Person potion to return Peanut to his family with a new found respect for insects.

Nicolas Cage has been known to play a wizard role

The plot is so trivial, that we had guessed the plot completely before the title credits were through. Also, the humans in this movie were super uncanny. All in all, the movie made us laugh in parts, and Nicolas Cage as a wizard ant shows that his talent knows no bounds.

Movie quotability:

• "Away, monster, or I will use my powers to destroy you... powers that I have yet to perfect."
• "It's Peanut, the Destroyer!"
• "No, wait! We are not mindless savages! We should study the human... and then eat him!"
• Nic: "Curse you, rock! A curse upon your children!" JR: "I don't think rocks have children." Nic: "Well, they won't NOW." 
• "Oh, something HAHAHA, I was worried it was NOTHING!"
• "Will you quit eating, fatso?! It's crowded in here! We need more room!"
• "Zok! How did you get in here?" "Well, I sure didn't get in through the REAR entrance."
• "Uh, definitely NOT, thank you." (you have to imagine Nic Cage saying that)
• "Calling a human a friend... I always thought that was impossible until I met you."

Plot Holes:

• Most of this movie was iron clad, but at the end they really blow it. Why go to all the trouble of shrinking the exterminator when they could just un-shrink the kid?

	CAGEamatic	Cinematic
Skyler	Exceeds Expectations	Acceptable
Shauna
James	3.02/5	2.50/5
Martine	!Stayed in the Cage!

#34 World Trade Center

#34 World Trade Center

Year: 2006

Director: Oliver Stone
MPAA Rating: PG-13

Epic Co-stars: Michael Pena (no, that's not Yatzee), Maria Bello

Running Time: 129 minutes
Cage Time: 80%
Cage Kills: 0
Cage Flip-outs: 2

Skyler's Review: I must admit that it was difficult to get to writing this review, as I have been buried in work, but here goes...

Viewing this film on the 11th anniversary of the tragedy of 9/11/12 made us feel the gravity of the situation on that day. The film begins with Nicolas Cage setting the foundation of the story as a cop for the NYPD, whose face is covered with mustache. After a short scene about confusion when the towers were hit, the movie gives way to the second phase of the film: Nicolas Cage buried under piles of rubble.

Nicolas cage has a dirty mustache.

Seeing Cage completely immobile and covered, completely demolishes any preconceived ideas of what that day was like for first responders. Your heart crumples as you think about all of the people that were affected. As if the screen is portraying one buried man, to show how gruesome it was for the 1000s that were trapped.

Then suddenly, any realism collapses and the plot breaks down into a fantasy story. Some marine feels the weight of the situation and decides to drive to ground zero and walk into the rubble. He then proceeds to fall directly onto the location of mustachio'd Nic Cage. It is also likely that there were hundreds of other marines that tumbled into NYC, walked into the rubble, covered some ground, and found absolutely nobody. Mentioning these marines would have broken the suspended reality, I guess, so they are ignored.

Most of the film is in this dark underground set.

The film then breaks way to the final section of the film. The part seems to drag on, and on, and on, as your attention span crumbles into pieces. You want to collapse in your chair and fall asleep, due to the length of the film. Then you feel this crushing guilt for not being able to stay up and watch this tribute to the day the towers were not able to stay up. Why was the movie so long; why were the towers so long? In a way, that is what they director wanted: to simulate completely the feeling of being trapped and fighting to stay conscious. The only thing keeping this smash hit from completely paralleling the Twin Towers is that there isn't two of them; there is no sequel.


Movie Quotes:

• "How'd it get burned? How'd it get burned? How'd it get burned? How'd it get burned?"

Plot Holes:

• 9mm guns shoot themselves sometimes.
• James thinks yelling at people when you're worried your spouse is dead is a plot hole. Martine thinks he's a dumbass.

	CAGEamatic	Cinamatic
Skyler	Poor	Dreadful
Shauna
James	1.83/5	2.46/5
Martine	!Was Reminded (but had never forgotten) in the CAGE!

#17 The Wicker Man

#17 The Wicker Man

Year: 2006

Director: Neil LaBute

MPAA Rating:  PG-13 

Epic Co-stars: 

Running Time: 102 mins.
Cage Time: 98%
Cage Kills: 0
Cage Flip-outs: 6

Skyler's Review: To be completely honest, I was not really looking forward to watching The Wicker Man starring Nicolas Cage. I mean, I was and I wasn't. Like any other person that claims to know anything at all about Nic Cage, I've seen the highlights reel to the Wicker Man. If this is your first time investigating Cage's work here is the video: (FYI, spoilers!)

So I knew that there would be at least 2:08 of over-the-top-dramatic thriller in store for me, but from what I had read in the YouTube comments I was worried about the other 1:43:52. Everyone was saying that the first 90 minutes drags on; and makes the last bit of the movie not even worth it. I wholeheartedly disagree. Maybe I'm in the 27% of people on rottentomatoes.com that actually liked it, but 75% of our group really liked it. 100% of us were engaged the entire movie.

Not the bees!

So here is the plot: an over-righteous, arrogant, Jimmy Stewarty police detective (Cage) ends up investigating the kidnapping, or possible murder, of a little girl in a isolated island community. There seems to be only women on this island, so having this masculine man in a suit on the island snooping around like he owns the place makes you feel awkward; Cage's character can't seem to read their culture and behave appropriately. (It is this "I'm a man, I do/say what I want" kind of attitude that kept us entertained during the film) As the detective is investigating, and interfering with all of the island's daily affairs, it becomes apparent that there may be some kind of cover-up going on and that the child was sacrificed in some sort of ancient druid ritual. Every time he uncovers another clue, the community becomes even less forthcoming, and they try to scare him into leaving them alone; this all leads to an exciting conclusion.

"What's in the bag, a shark or something?"

Overall, we felt that this movie has been highly underrated. If you like Nicolas Cage, you will like this film. We have been quoting to each other nonstop since viewing. You must go into the movie knowing that it is intentionally overly dramatic and over-the-top to the point of comedy. But then again, that is the mindset you evoke when entering any Nicolas Cage masterpiece. Nicolas Cage, well done sir, bravo!

Movie quotability:

• "What's in the bag, a shark or something?"
• "I'm a policeman, see my badge?"
• "You little liars." (to a room full of children)
• "Perhaps it is time for you to stop bullshitting me, okay?"
• "How'd it get burned!?  How'd it get burned?  How'd it get burned!? How'd it get burned!?"
• "You have my permission to stay out of my fucking way!"
• "Killing me won't bring back your god-damned honey!!"
• "What is it?  What is it?  Ohhhh Nooo, not the bees!!"

Plot Holes:

• Man refuses to fly Malus to the secret island based on principle but gives in for a measly 100 bucks.
• Malus thinks someone may be trapped in the canvas bag that is dripping blood. They tell him to look in the bag and he flinches; decides to not look.
• Supposedly Malus is a great detective but he doesn't connect the many, many hints that the kid is his.
• Flashlight works perfectly underwater.
• Mr. Malus desperately tries to wake up an obviously decomposing body.
• Strange ritual conveniently has one full body bear costume that allows Nic Cage to infiltrate.
• With two broken femers, Nic Cage still respons coherently to each new bizarre event.

	CAGEamatic	Cinamatic
Skyler	Outstanding	Exceeds Expectations
Shauna
James	4.95/5	4.99/5
Martine	!Pissed that she stayed in the Cage!