tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-54866470219289100592024-03-13T17:54:13.086-07:00A year in the CAGEAn attempt to watch every single Nicolas Cage film in exactly one year.Skyler Weaverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13516715611434524812noreply@blogger.comBlogger74125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5486647021928910059.post-40146672996933755012013-03-28T21:53:00.000-07:002013-03-28T21:55:46.252-07:00WE DID IT!<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">WE DID IT!!!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It was quite the journey. We had a fun time watching the master perform his work. All 66 of them. As promised, we recieved our autographed Nicolas Cage headshots and we even had a cake made with Dr. Cage likeness upon it.</span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Almost all of us are thrilled to be here.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://yearofthecage.tumblr.com/">Not many have what it takes to complete this incredible challenge.</a> We're not necessarily saying that it was easy; it's just that we were raised that if you say you are going to do something, you had better do it.</span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">That is a beautiful looking cake. </td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Now that we are at the end and the magic is over, we feel a little sad. Sad that there isn't another obscure avant garde Nicolas Cage work floating around on the internet. We've seen David Lynch, we've seen a TV pilot (with Crispin Glover), we've even seen three movies (not on the list) that Nicolas Cage allegedly appeared in: unaccredited and unseen (We'll post more about these soon).</span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Watching every Nicolas Cage film really works up an appetite for cake. CAGE CAKE.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Over the course of this year we have reviewed 66 excellent films and are now official Nicolas Cage experts. We have compiled a lot of data regarding the Cinematic and Cageamatic qualities of these films, and we will also post, on this blog, our findings (such as top 10, bottom 10, etc.) If we had to go back in time, we would totally do this again. Now I shudder at the prospect of watching a movie where Nicolas Cage will not appear, not even in spirit. Well done Nicolas Cage; well done us. Not so well done, <a href="http://yearofthecage.tumblr.com/">this guy</a>.</span></div>
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James Ayershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11560479592464116645noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5486647021928910059.post-64210094560624898682013-03-27T09:34:00.000-07:002013-03-27T09:04:17.596-07:00#66 The Croods<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=5486647021928910059" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><a href="http://www.blogger.com/IMAGEHERE" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><a href="http://www.blogger.com/IMAGEHERE" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><b style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">#66 The Croods</span></b><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Year:</b> 2013</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Director:</b> Chris Sanders, Kirk DeMicco</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>MPAA Ra</b><b>ting:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b>PG</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Epic Co-stars:</b> Emma Stone, Ryan Reynolds, Catherine Keener</span></div>
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Running Time:</b> 97 mins.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Time:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b>95%</span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Kills:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b>0<b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Flip-outs:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b>2 </span></span><br />
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<b style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">James' Review: </span></b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As the final movie during our year in the Cage I was worried that we would go out with a sappy and toned down Cage, just the opposite of what originally sucked us in. What I got was a well thought out, visually pleasing adventure starring a quite animated (both visually and auditor-ily (yes I just made that word up)) Dr. Cage. </span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdKBW0ZCbHmbSRm-ilW7GH243dfioNgzoUN469QLPPrJUFqCBn2ze_olZezqpD6b4OEh4YcR9QKZSpvj845ATnyiq-GIt8lwlVKEQqtxsH71AHjl7ziDXsqVDJ8ndn3dJK4rgE042cd0w/s1600/The-Croods-2013-Movie-Image-3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="203" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdKBW0ZCbHmbSRm-ilW7GH243dfioNgzoUN469QLPPrJUFqCBn2ze_olZezqpD6b4OEh4YcR9QKZSpvj845ATnyiq-GIt8lwlVKEQqtxsH71AHjl7ziDXsqVDJ8ndn3dJK4rgE042cd0w/s400/The-Croods-2013-Movie-Image-3.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Cage worked out a lot for this film. You can really see it in his chin.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Cage plays Crug Crood, the fearless dad of the last caveman family on earth. All the other caveman families have been wiped away by the many horrors that lurk in daily neanderthal life. Cage keeps his family safe with his mantra that rules the Crood family over anything else - Fear Everything and NEVER LEAVE THE CAVE! His daughter Eep (Emma Stone), being a typical teenage girl, goes against her fathers wishes and sneaks out of the cave to make trouble and <i>meet boys</i>. This leads to the start of their adventure that eventually forces them away from the safety of their cave and out into the wide world with a hot young cave-boy Guy (Ryan Reynolds). Guy does something completely novel to the Croods to get by in life: he has ideas.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiB9XUBNkxugbnvdLMQ9NOmhfBO6_F63XOaCICqW69GyWOGh1iJ35xIYTxKdewJy3U7ZfDKZHvIC9vEZ8ykM4t5sn2CeqOKP9JIHt11vBe9EvhS-pItn1cdwRtWZtDVM7abX-l3bdXlvEg/s1600/images+%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="243" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiB9XUBNkxugbnvdLMQ9NOmhfBO6_F63XOaCICqW69GyWOGh1iJ35xIYTxKdewJy3U7ZfDKZHvIC9vEZ8ykM4t5sn2CeqOKP9JIHt11vBe9EvhS-pItn1cdwRtWZtDVM7abX-l3bdXlvEg/s400/images+%25281%2529.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A group of lovable morons.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Guy and Crug battle for authority while on their adventure, one using his brains looks and charm and the other using his brute strength and his inability to see a world that he doesn't want to see. This "stupid cave-man" role leaves plenty of opportunities for Cage to dazzle us with his comedic timing and rapist wit. The expression in his voice comes through to build Crug Crood from just a crappy drawing of a cave-man to what seems like a living breathing moron that you wish you could have a beer with. </span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhreUMjPtvScPz9cgZXLpRwRSgex-bTYZRqDshfHVewGtm4DAo7M8VUsiWO8IGrCf1ADP4bBfOomRLWhgMhJdNPxn9JAeWWtJ5KwSLi2JIooxuBFFh90mkjF5WPC2ZnOS-CRu_9H4UhV5I/s1600/The-Croods-wallpapers-6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhreUMjPtvScPz9cgZXLpRwRSgex-bTYZRqDshfHVewGtm4DAo7M8VUsiWO8IGrCf1ADP4bBfOomRLWhgMhJdNPxn9JAeWWtJ5KwSLi2JIooxuBFFh90mkjF5WPC2ZnOS-CRu_9H4UhV5I/s400/The-Croods-wallpapers-6.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is a picture of some cartoon characters gazing into the beautiful eye of Nicolas Cage.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As he has on so many of his previous 65 films, Dr. Cage carries this performance and ultimately all of the other "actors" that surround him. In the Croods he'll make you laugh and cry. The tears won't just be due to the top gun acting, but to the fact that after spending an entire year with him week in and week out, there is no more of him left. Upon starting this expedition, it seemed like an impossible and seemingly endless task to watch every bit of film that Cage has ever been immortalized in. Now that the end is here all I can think is I can't believe it's already over. This has been the most important task I've ever accomplished, the best year of my life, and the most spiritually fulfilling thing I've ever done. Nobody else will ever come close to giving me what Dr. Cage has. Thought the year may be over, for the rest of my life I'll always be looking forward to the next Nicolas Cage movie.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">...But until then who's next? Lou Diamond Phillips? Jean Claude Van Damme?</span><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Movie quotability:</span></b><br />
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<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"That's the screen that means we're gonna be watching this." - Henry (upon seeing the 20th century fox logo)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Release the Baby"</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"C'mon, c'mon, darkness brings death. We know this."</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Wait! ...okay" x 100</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Kill Circle!"</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"And I also thought it would kill your mother. Win Win."</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Hand me those acting sticks!"</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"I have an I-DE-A."</span></li>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;">Plot Holes:</b></span><br />
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<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">No plot holes! This probably actually happened.</span></li>
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CAGEamatic</div>
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Cinamatic</div>
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<tr><th>Skyler</th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Exceeds Expectations</b></div>
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<b>Outstanding</b></div>
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<tr><th>Shauna</th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK813WdzqXnhndH7FRTzR8T9RSo0Ttg9D3jaU-lDS8pXZSy88X4FtTLe2kOLqeulvav90q8DMUqv1e8QT2s1vbZniYs9RuVNEBjm4QEnA0Ahl3SJV4MVCmEX2mu58pm_ROK6XUh9l_KCA/s1600/Thumbs-up-icon.png" /></div>
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<tr><th>James</th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>4.49/5</b></div>
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<b>4.12/5</b></div>
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<tr><th>Martine</th><td colspan="2"><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>!Made great memories in the CAGE!</b></div>
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James Ayershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11560479592464116645noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5486647021928910059.post-45164967076110178552013-03-26T09:50:00.000-07:002013-03-26T19:56:47.192-07:00#65 The Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call - New Orleans<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<b><span style="font-size: x-large;">#65 Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call- New Orleans</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Year:</b> 2009</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Director:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b>Werner Herzog</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>MPAA Ra</b><b>ting: R</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Epic Co-stars:</b> Val Kilmer, Eva Mendes</span></div>
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Running Time:</b> 122 mins</span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Time: </b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Kills: </b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Flip-outs:</b> 4</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Shauna'</b></span><b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">s Review:</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%;"> </span></b><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This movie is set in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina (text says). Cage and Kilmer are cops. Early in the film (I'm guessing this is immediately post-Katrina) Cage jumps into a submerged prison to save a trapped convict and injures his back-- mild to moderate pain for the rest of his life, the doctor says, and prescribes him Vicodin. Flash forward to six months later, Cage is snorting something in his police car before walking into a crime scene. He's a grumpy-ass, high strung lieutenant with a crazy-ass swagger and a gun perpetually stuck in the front of his pants. His girlfriend, Eva Mendes, appears to be a hooker. Oh, yep. She's a hooker.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Look, honey, there's a surprisingly bright future ahead of us! </td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Cage's boss assigns him lead for the investigation into the murder of a Senegalese family. Turns out Cage has been stealing drugs from the property room with some help from a beat walker, Michael Shannon (aka Dave from Cage classic <i>World Trade Center</i>, if you're attentive). He also pulls over a couple of teenagers, ostensibly on suspicion of "passing drugs," and takes some drugs from the guy, takes some secondhand hits from a crack pipe via the mouth of the hot teenage girl, followed by a handjob.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPBHWJSuIqLBho58iGuokW-ZkYbCX3RACsGXaZwqUa6mhelSNqZloj4GeNgKC-iIQbeeD8gTkIpDDOhw9lUhX9FX7j_pjtJ5sZXQQ58pLiShCQEhzI_zvjkhZpdDDyLHZc-4jDDb-nRow/s1600/Bad_lieutenant_3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="215" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPBHWJSuIqLBho58iGuokW-ZkYbCX3RACsGXaZwqUa6mhelSNqZloj4GeNgKC-iIQbeeD8gTkIpDDOhw9lUhX9FX7j_pjtJ5sZXQQ58pLiShCQEhzI_zvjkhZpdDDyLHZc-4jDDb-nRow/s400/Bad_lieutenant_3.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. Also cocaine makes you crazy in the brain. </td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We're alternately impressed with the intensity of his drug use, the depth of his depravity, and his skill in conducting the murder investigation. Cage single-handedly finds and delivers most of the important people and clues, despite the fact that he is pretty much up to his eyeballs in drugs and gambling debt. This movie might be more accurately titled "Irresponsible Lieutenant"-- given charge of his father's dog, he does everything in his power to pass that responsibility off onto his girlfriend; given charge of the young witness to the homicide, he quickly a) snorts coke in front of him, b) gives drugs to his hooker girlfriend, and c) loses the kid in a casino. Things start to unravel pretty quickly after that.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnzGiECLU9u11dMnBXHgAW897qvYmgg9jkqtMzywE6Lr3ZYPEteKrZW7Zi4JmUYniaW3fB9-cagESlrA8JOIpKhwgFiWFH1jY_rjapLxlNkAyhMjm12xKPpxrBUt3srXkkiNCAHgTGRho/s1600/vlcsnap-2012-05-11-20h59m48s252.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnzGiECLU9u11dMnBXHgAW897qvYmgg9jkqtMzywE6Lr3ZYPEteKrZW7Zi4JmUYniaW3fB9-cagESlrA8JOIpKhwgFiWFH1jY_rjapLxlNkAyhMjm12xKPpxrBUt3srXkkiNCAHgTGRho/s400/vlcsnap-2012-05-11-20h59m48s252.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"What are those fucking iguanas doing on my coffee table?"</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Cage is a fine actor here. He truly embodies this desperate, strung-out character with a touch of Cage-esque humor, a shuffling, hunched back posture and a nasally, mumbling version of his familiar drawl. Somehow you manage to feel bad for this poor son of a bitch, despite his fucking miserable life choices. The direction of the film is a bit rambly and has less momentum than I would like for this type of story. The director wastes a few minutes here and there with random artsy film bits (close-ups of a lizard or a crocodile dying on the street). But overall I would say this is a decent movie, and undoubtedly one of Cage's better recent acting gigs.</span><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Movie quotability:</span></b></div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Please what, shitbird?"</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">'Hey, man, i got on Swiss cotton underpants. yeah, that's right. cost me $55 a pair. You think I want to get all this brown water and shit all over them?"</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Don't move, you stay and watch! You watch her! You watch your fucking girlfriend!"</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"I need that coke back... I snorted what I thought was coke, turned out to be heroin. I need to be at work in an hour."</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"What are these fucking iguanas doing on my coffee table?"</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"It's amazing how much you can get done when you have a simple purpose in life."</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Shoot him again!" "What for?" "His soul's still dancing!"</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"You don't have a lucky crack pipe?"</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"I'll kill all of you. To the break of dawn. To the break of dawn, baby."</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Hey, did I ever tell you about the ni**er elk?"</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">(to two elderly ladies) "Maybe you should die, you selfish cunt.... You fucks, I hate you, I hate you both.... You're the fucking reason this country's going down the drain."</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Well, let her get cleaned up, put on something hot. She looks like shit right now."</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"A man without a gun isn't a man."</span></li>
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<b style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Plot Holes:</span></b><br />
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<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">All the other cops conveniently leave Cage in the room alone with bad guys often enough that he can smoke crack and make deals with them on a regular basis.</span></li>
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CAGEamatic</div>
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Cinematic</div>
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<tr><th>Skyler</th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Outstanding</b></div>
</td><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Outstanding</b></div>
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<tr><th>Shauna</th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK813WdzqXnhndH7FRTzR8T9RSo0Ttg9D3jaU-lDS8pXZSy88X4FtTLe2kOLqeulvav90q8DMUqv1e8QT2s1vbZniYs9RuVNEBjm4QEnA0Ahl3SJV4MVCmEX2mu58pm_ROK6XUh9l_KCA/s1600/Thumbs-up-icon.png" /></div>
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<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK813WdzqXnhndH7FRTzR8T9RSo0Ttg9D3jaU-lDS8pXZSy88X4FtTLe2kOLqeulvav90q8DMUqv1e8QT2s1vbZniYs9RuVNEBjm4QEnA0Ahl3SJV4MVCmEX2mu58pm_ROK6XUh9l_KCA/s1600/Thumbs-up-icon.png" /></div>
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<tr><th>James</th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>4.38/5.00</b></div>
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<b>4.04/5.00</b></div>
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<tr><th>Martine</th><td colspan="2"><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>!Enjoyed the Cage!</b></div>
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Skyler Weaverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13516715611434524812noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5486647021928910059.post-8526836393919183492013-03-25T10:48:00.000-07:002013-03-26T19:52:21.391-07:00#64 Vampire's Kiss<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<b><span style="font-size: x-large;">#64 Vampire's Kiss</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Year:</b> 1988</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Director:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b>Robert Bierman</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>MPAA Ra</b><b>ting: R</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Epic Co-stars:</b> Jennifer Beals</span></div>
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Running Time:</b> 103 mins</span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Time:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b>99.5%</span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Kills: </b>1</span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Flip-outs:</b> 8/infinity</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Shauna'</b><b>s Review: </b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Skyler and James have been creaming their pants to watch this movie for about 11 months (ever since they saw<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=xP1-oquwoL8"> this video</a>, which you may have already seen in the sidebar, to your right). <i>Vampire's Kiss </i>fills the first 49 seconds with some prime Cage-outs. Suffice it to say, you should obviously watch that video immediately, if you haven't, and get equally juiced up about watching this cinematic masterpiece.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Really sink your teeth into it. </td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We open to an annoyingly long and misleadingly dull opening credits scene. Fortunately, the first voice you hear is Cage's dulcet timbre, complete with a wildly fake accent, 50% New England prep-schooler, 200% insane. He is lying on a leather couch, discussing his fear of commitment with his therapist in a stylish New York office. Cage describes how he brings home an endless string of women, immediately tiring of them in the morning, which means... he holds interest for about 8 hours longer than most men. He seems to think this means he needs therapy.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Cage goes to a jazz club and picks up a drunken floozy, bringing her back to his place for some fun, unfortunately interrupted by a bat loose in his apartment. Upon later returning to his apartment (sans floozy), Cage can't find the bat anywhere. The next night, Cage picks up a different woman (Jennifer Beals, aka that girl from Flashdance) who turns out to be a VAMPIRE! TERRIFYING! Cage goes to bring her coffee in bed in the morning, and she has suddenly DISAPPEARED!</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Being a public figure tends to make one tense in a crowd. </td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">From the bite marks on his neck, Cage begins to suspect that he has become a vampire, and his behavior becomes increasingly erratic. He becomes obsessed with a document at work and harasses the shit out of some poor secretary because she is not able to find it. It becomes the focus of his therapy sessions and consumes, bizarrely, a great deal of his time and energy. It's pretty fucking hysterical.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There are just SO MANY SCENES I want to share with you from this movie, but I won't, because you really have to see them to appreciate it. I wouldn't want to steal any WTF moments from you. Let's just say... they could have put about 50% of this movie into that YouTube video without any problems. Some of my more favorite moments: Alva's mom, getting the cheap teeth, Cage in Tunnel, the sofa coffin (see below), Alva's "pep talk," and of course the pigeon. Don't miss the commentary-- highly recommend getting this on DVD so you can hear Cage and the director muse (maybe 20 years later) about what may or may not have happened on the set of this film.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpnNmMr8dwN4kbr0k7vrzEnMr4gskmmzSL7idc6OY-Oc8KC2IVJ9l53rBC0SAZDbHH9qCik2KR6WF7EoT0CwoaUIdlipXVW-Uc0nTvr47AzdohCncKEwGdwoOrtIThKIrF_bKCQvysQ_M/s1600/cage36.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="272" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpnNmMr8dwN4kbr0k7vrzEnMr4gskmmzSL7idc6OY-Oc8KC2IVJ9l53rBC0SAZDbHH9qCik2KR6WF7EoT0CwoaUIdlipXVW-Uc0nTvr47AzdohCncKEwGdwoOrtIThKIrF_bKCQvysQ_M/s400/cage36.gif" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In sum, a darkly hilarious Cage gem, reminiscent of <i>American Psycho </i>and <i>Dracula, Dead and Loving It </i>(although it pre-dated both of them). Absolutely not appropriate for the whole family, but you should definitely watch it with them anyway, because everyone should see this movie.</span><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Movie quotability:</span></b></div>
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<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"I was in mortal combat with a fucking bat, give me a break!"</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Oh yes, ok I know. Uh, I guess I was pretty horny... pretty keyed up from being with a girl right before. I was drunk, too, that was it. I'd had a little to drink. I was drunk. Plus I was horny."</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Fucking greasehole!"</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME??"</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"How could somebody misfile something? It couldn't be easier, it's all alphabetical! (screams alphabet) I've never misfiled anything! Not once, not one time! I want to know, really, who did?!"</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"That mescaline, wow. Does strange stuff. I'll never do that again. Jeez."</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"There is no one else here who I could possibly ask to share such a terrible job."</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Are you all right, Mr Loew?" "Shut up, bitch."</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"I'm a vampire!" (etc)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"My girlfriend broke up with me! I'm a vampire! Kill me! Kill me!"</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Christ! The tortures of the damned!"</span></li>
</ul>
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<b style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Plot Holes:</span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
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<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Self-professed commitment phobe ends up in two romantic relationships (floozy, Beals). </span></li>
</ul>
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CAGEamatic</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNblWN4I4w821_P8qXPhW4LNqDm25qdmi4u-UhKXenpk2uMt3_PZaWaTQBjAgI9KNUJWePdX17bofjIb27OZOm_RqmbhZws1sm57AS1pLvJSaXxabO1xSTZSHB33lk8TPCd6B1HlyDCdQ/s1600/cageOscar_cropped.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="80" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNblWN4I4w821_P8qXPhW4LNqDm25qdmi4u-UhKXenpk2uMt3_PZaWaTQBjAgI9KNUJWePdX17bofjIb27OZOm_RqmbhZws1sm57AS1pLvJSaXxabO1xSTZSHB33lk8TPCd6B1HlyDCdQ/s200/cageOscar_cropped.jpg" /></a></div>
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Cinematic</div>
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<tr><th>Skyler</th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Outstanding</b></div>
</td><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Exceeds Expectations</b></div>
</td></tr>
<tr><th>Shauna</th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK813WdzqXnhndH7FRTzR8T9RSo0Ttg9D3jaU-lDS8pXZSy88X4FtTLe2kOLqeulvav90q8DMUqv1e8QT2s1vbZniYs9RuVNEBjm4QEnA0Ahl3SJV4MVCmEX2mu58pm_ROK6XUh9l_KCA/s1600/Thumbs-up-icon.png" /></div>
</td><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK813WdzqXnhndH7FRTzR8T9RSo0Ttg9D3jaU-lDS8pXZSy88X4FtTLe2kOLqeulvav90q8DMUqv1e8QT2s1vbZniYs9RuVNEBjm4QEnA0Ahl3SJV4MVCmEX2mu58pm_ROK6XUh9l_KCA/s1600/Thumbs-up-icon.png" /></div>
</td></tr>
<tr><th>James</th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>4.99/5</b></div>
</td><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>4.21/5</b></div>
</td></tr>
<tr><th>Martine</th><td colspan="2"><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>!Incredibly, fell asleep in the Cage!</b></div>
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James Ayershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11560479592464116645noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5486647021928910059.post-25140619925842375582013-03-24T11:02:00.000-07:002013-03-25T08:24:43.235-07:00#63 Time To Kill<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<b><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">#63 Time To Kill (Tempo di uccidere)</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">
<b>Year:</b> 1989</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Director:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b>Giuliano Montaldo</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>MPAA Ra</b><b>ting:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b>R</span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Epic Co-stars:</b> Giancarlo Giannini (James Bond's friend Rene)</span></div>
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Running Time:</b> 110 mins</span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Time: </b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Kills:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b>1</span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Flip-outs:</b> 3</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Shauna'</b><b>s Review: </b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: 100%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 100%;">OK so to understand the hilarity of this movie, I have to explain the experience of watching the copy we found on thepiratebay. This is a film about Italian soldiers invading Ethiopia in 1936. The cast are all Italian actors; the director is Italian; Nic Cage (Coppola) is an Italian-American, but the rest of them actually are Italian-Italians. However, this movie was filmed in English. But the version we found was DUBBED back into Italian. They then translated that dialogue into English, so the subtitles are a terrible translation of a translation. Italian actors, speaking English, dubbed in Italian, subtitled in English. The upshot of all this is that A) it's hard to follow what the fuck is happening (something about a toothache?), and B) we are forced to hear some lame voice coming out of Nic Cage's beautiful face. I'm sure I don't need to tell you that a Nic Cage movie without that signature Cage-style delivery is no Cage movie at all.</span></span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Don't make me watch this movie again, goddammit! </td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Lieutenant Silvestri suffers a toothache and decides to reach the nearest camp hospital. En route to the dentist his vehicle has an accident, and stops near a rock. Silvestri continues by walking. On his way, he meets and rapes a young Ethiopian woman. Despite this, he and the Ethiopian fall for each other. While taking refuge in a cave Silvestri shoots at a wild animal, but the bullet ricochets and hits the woman. Silvestri continues to the dentist. Upon reaching the hospital, he reads a medical book, leading him to believe he has leprosy. As he tries to escape from Ethiopia, Silvestri must evade his former comrades and reach his wife in Italy. </span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhIguVt6ifTm6RVCeeOScJ2lT3_aQetPsr0sDfbXhqxWeXHnm_8C0SZKgWvBTgEUM0YT9rAMt4PYHD7YS-bgF7PmW9CYXlB3AKbPs81m4NOgrF_-qTvhrbvdis6QZd4FqojDKbnCsAOyI/s1600/tempo-di-uccidere.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhIguVt6ifTm6RVCeeOScJ2lT3_aQetPsr0sDfbXhqxWeXHnm_8C0SZKgWvBTgEUM0YT9rAMt4PYHD7YS-bgF7PmW9CYXlB3AKbPs81m4NOgrF_-qTvhrbvdis6QZd4FqojDKbnCsAOyI/s400/tempo-di-uccidere.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">But I am very handsome. </td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The guys decided you should just watch this instead: </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/DJi5zNgpKDo?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Movie quotability:</span></b></div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Huge space to fill with our silly greatness.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">How can lives one person... with a bullet in the abdomen.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What did "go"?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When I was putting the clock wrist, she looked at me.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Why is your sister has a white turban? Because he is sick?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I and I is not got.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">She was sick. [Actual translation: She was not sick]. <i>This would seem more relevant if you had watched the movie, which let's face it... you didn't. </i></span></li>
</ul>
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<b style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Plot Holes:</span></b><br />
<br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Subtitles executed too poorly to know.</span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">CAGEamatic</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Cinematic</span></div>
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<tr><th><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Skyler</span></th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Poor</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Dreadful</span></b></div>
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<tr><th><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shauna</span></th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7w1vl4Nam-zrqCn1rTS_A2-KC9Ni0WbsEYHgPPZ3ZI2eImHzCtk4fnVmP3ULBtZ9QzNUDEdDgxolT5tacQBeigs6AbkOuoIDvAgVZhr6WDZlq45clYQ_oSxzjYsOMrbIu2W6uv6HBtyE/s1600/Thumbs-down-icon.png" /></div>
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<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7w1vl4Nam-zrqCn1rTS_A2-KC9Ni0WbsEYHgPPZ3ZI2eImHzCtk4fnVmP3ULBtZ9QzNUDEdDgxolT5tacQBeigs6AbkOuoIDvAgVZhr6WDZlq45clYQ_oSxzjYsOMrbIu2W6uv6HBtyE/s1600/Thumbs-down-icon.png" /></div>
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<tr><th><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">James</span></th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">3.07/5.00</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1.31/5.00</span></b></div>
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<tr><th><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Martine</span></th><td colspan="2"><div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">!Dozed off in the CAGE!</span></b></div>
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James Ayershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11560479592464116645noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5486647021928910059.post-20883765392131659732013-03-23T21:25:00.000-07:002013-03-25T08:22:07.584-07:00#62 The Cotton Club<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/0/0b/Cotton_club.jpg/220px-Cotton_club.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/0/0b/Cotton_club.jpg/220px-Cotton_club.jpg" width="216" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">#62 </span></b><span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>The Cotton Club</b></span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Year:</b> 1984</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Director:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b>Francis Ford Coppola</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>MPAA Ra</b><b>ting:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b>R</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Epic Co-stars:</b> Richard Gere, Gregory Hines, Diane Lane, Morpheus</span></div>
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Running Time:</b> 127 mins </span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Time</b><b style="font-weight: normal;">: </b>5%</span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Kills:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b>bunches</span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Flip-outs:</b> 1</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Skyler's Review: </b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Nic Cage plays Richard Gere's brother- you can tell they're brothers, because they have identical pencil-thin mustaches (much admired by James and Skyler). Cage is married to Baby from Dirty Dancing---three years before Dirty Dancing, certainly before the nose job that probably cost her career.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Richard Gere plays a jazz musician, Dixie Dwyer, who happens to save a gangster's life during a police raid on a bootleg jazz bar. Or something. The gangster, "Dutch," takes a liking to Dwyer and hires him as a musician/personal assistant, and Dwyer's kid brother, Vincent (Nic Cage) as hired muscle. Dutch is a real creeper--played by James Remar--who does things like cheerfully stab gangsters in the throat over Jewish slurs.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3EaMBXa4PbAhyK44oatGIhNNg0LW0YJUBOLAPgzyPAFqCO0MbUvdxlh3KHXsGouKqjjVWOorrhYGNDDCFqph610tXBvNn1uC-CccMtCHHIbb0FDIzxn029Dv5O_CMVmgIq8KsWqJ7l8U/s1600/cottoncvlub95084.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="216" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3EaMBXa4PbAhyK44oatGIhNNg0LW0YJUBOLAPgzyPAFqCO0MbUvdxlh3KHXsGouKqjjVWOorrhYGNDDCFqph610tXBvNn1uC-CccMtCHHIbb0FDIzxn029Dv5O_CMVmgIq8KsWqJ7l8U/s400/cottoncvlub95084.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Nicolas Cage with a sweet mustache. I just wish he got more screen time in this movie.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Young Diane Lane looks exactly like Julia Stiles and is the love interest for Gere. White people are gangsters, bootleggers, etc. Black people are very musical.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Most of Nic Cage's quotes are heavy on the "N-word" so you won't see many below. Turns out his character isn't crazy about Black people, and his job primarily seems to consist of shooting or punching them and stealing their money.</span><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Movie quotability:</span></b></div>
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<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"This is the handsomest I've ever seen Richard Gere." -James</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"You white folks are so smart." -Sandman</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Bugle Boy, me Jesse James!" -Nic Cage</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"You know how I got that big? I ate a pigeon every day." -Dutch</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"You do move me... in unusual places." -Dixie</span></li>
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<b style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Plot Holes:</span></b><br />
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<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Richard Gere and Diane Lane slap each other in the face and start fight-dancing, and people at the club applaud. </span></li>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguIgBWg6roT2Q-D7aqXGxqlXfe64NFCdwnCpE-XpZ3s1AGjxnaicAnJi2ICOEPVIEdPvQ7EG3njH8Ce7xi9OzIAg5dsqWbOjCK4x2k11_jdQWt8perqbIrWZvCr_gWRD1qj5p0J-f5yDQ/s1600/NCcrazy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="80" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguIgBWg6roT2Q-D7aqXGxqlXfe64NFCdwnCpE-XpZ3s1AGjxnaicAnJi2ICOEPVIEdPvQ7EG3njH8Ce7xi9OzIAg5dsqWbOjCK4x2k11_jdQWt8perqbIrWZvCr_gWRD1qj5p0J-f5yDQ/s1600/NCcrazy.jpg" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">CAGEamatic</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNblWN4I4w821_P8qXPhW4LNqDm25qdmi4u-UhKXenpk2uMt3_PZaWaTQBjAgI9KNUJWePdX17bofjIb27OZOm_RqmbhZws1sm57AS1pLvJSaXxabO1xSTZSHB33lk8TPCd6B1HlyDCdQ/s1600/cageOscar_cropped.jpg" imageanchor="1"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="80" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNblWN4I4w821_P8qXPhW4LNqDm25qdmi4u-UhKXenpk2uMt3_PZaWaTQBjAgI9KNUJWePdX17bofjIb27OZOm_RqmbhZws1sm57AS1pLvJSaXxabO1xSTZSHB33lk8TPCd6B1HlyDCdQ/s200/cageOscar_cropped.jpg" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Cinematic</span></div>
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<tr><th><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Skyler</span></th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Acceptable</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Poor</span></b></div>
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<tr><th><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shauna</span></th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7w1vl4Nam-zrqCn1rTS_A2-KC9Ni0WbsEYHgPPZ3ZI2eImHzCtk4fnVmP3ULBtZ9QzNUDEdDgxolT5tacQBeigs6AbkOuoIDvAgVZhr6WDZlq45clYQ_oSxzjYsOMrbIu2W6uv6HBtyE/s1600/Thumbs-down-icon.png" /></span></div>
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<tr><th><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">James</span></th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">2.17/5.00</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">2.81/5.00</span></b></div>
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<tr><th><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Martine</span></th><td colspan="2"><div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">!Read in the CAGE!</span></b></div>
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James Ayershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11560479592464116645noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5486647021928910059.post-84502368016006258672013-03-20T21:16:00.000-07:002013-03-21T08:48:17.322-07:00#61 Valley Girl<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">#61 </span></b><span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>Valley Girl</b></span></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Year:</b> 1983</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Director: </b>Martha Coolidge</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>MPAA Ra</b><b>ting: R</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Epic Co-stars:</b> Elizabeth Daily, aka Dotty from Pee Wee's Big Adventure</span></div>
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Running Time:</b> 99 mins</span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Time: 50%</b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Kills: </b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Flip-outs:</b> 1</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Skyler'</b><b>s Review: </b></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Valley Girl is a modern spin on the Romeo and Juliet story. Elizabeth Daily plays Julia, and our hero Nicolas Cage is Randy. Randy and Julia.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Julia is a popular girl from The Valley has an on-again-off-again boyfriend whom is the the most popular dude in this school. He is terrible, and treats her terribly, but he is the coolest so she chooses to stay with him for the status of it. One day, Julia and her friends are chilling at the beach Julia catches a glimpse of the rockin' bod of Randy. He doesn't seem to notice/care that she is there, while clandestinely observing her and strategizing with his buddy Fred (who represents Mercutio). Randy puts on a show by flexing and looking awesome but making it look like he thinks no one is watching (like this is normal behavior). Fred finds out about a party in The Valley, and Fred and Randy decide to go to meet some chicks. It just so happens that Julia is at this very party.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Randy (Romeo) with his friend (Mercutio) at a party trying to get chicks from The Valley.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Randy falls in love with Julia immediately, but is thrown out of the party by Julia's boyfriend whom feels threatened. Randy sneaks back into the party by hiding in the bathroom until Julia needs to use the facility. Randy then jumps out of the shower and asks her to ditch the party and go with him to have some "real fun." Randy takes her to a music bar and shows his true punk side. Julia falls in love with Randy and has to decide whether to do the socially prudent thing (date the cool guy she hates) or follow her heart (date Randy). I won't spoil the end for you, but I can bet you can guess the end.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Nicolas Cage as Randy looks as dashing as always. Elizabeth Daly looks OK. Maybe the style of beauty has changed. Look at that hair! (Cage, not Daly)</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When the movie begins, the Romeo & Juliet thing is pretty subtle, so we felt pretty clever once we figured it out. But as the movie goes on, they start to beat you over the head about it, including a large ROMEO & JULIET on a playbill for a show in town.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The highlight of this movie is that Nic Cage shaved his chest hair into the shape of a bird, no joke. When he has his shirt off at the beach you can see that he shaved his chest hair down from his neck, but what is left looks like a majestic phoenix. Good stuff.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Oh, and by the way, Dotty from PeeWee Herman's Great Adventure is in this film.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Toward the end, during the obligatory prom scene, Josie Cotton and her band are on stage and sing the entire "<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=457N1m4oUZw">Johnny are you Queer?</a>" song. That was a nice touch.</span><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Movie quotability:</span></b></div>
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<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"What is this movie rated? What are the chances of me seeing these teenage girls naked?" -James</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Why don't you just punish me like Stacy's parents do?" "Bad karma."</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I just came over here to say I love you. (She breaks up w/him). I know what this is! Your fucking friends! Fuck you! Fuck off. For sure. Like totally.</span></li>
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<b style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Plot Holes:</span></b><br />
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<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">No rearview mirror in the student driver car.</span></li>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">CAGEamatic</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Cinematic</span></div>
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<tr><th><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Skyler</span></th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Outstanding</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Acceptable</span></b></div>
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<tr><th><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shauna</span></th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK813WdzqXnhndH7FRTzR8T9RSo0Ttg9D3jaU-lDS8pXZSy88X4FtTLe2kOLqeulvav90q8DMUqv1e8QT2s1vbZniYs9RuVNEBjm4QEnA0Ahl3SJV4MVCmEX2mu58pm_ROK6XUh9l_KCA/s1600/Thumbs-up-icon.png" /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7w1vl4Nam-zrqCn1rTS_A2-KC9Ni0WbsEYHgPPZ3ZI2eImHzCtk4fnVmP3ULBtZ9QzNUDEdDgxolT5tacQBeigs6AbkOuoIDvAgVZhr6WDZlq45clYQ_oSxzjYsOMrbIu2W6uv6HBtyE/s1600/Thumbs-down-icon.png" /></span></div>
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<tr><th><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">James</span></th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">4.08/5.00</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">3.46/5.00</span></b></div>
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<tr><th><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Martine</span></th><td colspan="2"><div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">!On the computer in the CAGE!</span></b></div>
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James Ayershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11560479592464116645noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5486647021928910059.post-46498921662025842192013-03-15T21:00:00.000-07:002013-03-25T10:33:37.683-07:00#60 Wild at Heart<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">#60 Wild at Heart</span></b><br />
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<div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Year:</b> 1990</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Director:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b>David Lynch</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>MPAA Rating:</b> NC-17</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Epic Co-stars:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b>Laura Dern, Willem Dafoe, Crispin Glover</span></div>
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Running Time:</b> 125 mins</span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Time:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b>95%</span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Kills:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> 2</b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Flip-outs:</b> 2</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="font-size: x-large;">James' Review: </b>Have you ever thought to yourself 'I love Natural Born Killers, but I wish it had a bit less social commentary on the US media, slightly more ridiculous characters, a hell of a lot more Cage, and was just a bit more weird'? If you have, consider yourself in luck. And if you haven't then you probably haven't seen Natural Born Killers (you should see it, it's great). Overall, Wild at Heart is pretty tame by Lynch's standards; the story is generally coherent, the characters are recognizable throughout the film, <u><a href="http://ayearinthecage.blogspot.com/2012/01/1990-industrial-symphony-no-1-dream-of.html">and at no point do we see a giant skinless deer</a></u>. Despite it's relative tame demeanor, it still provides plenty of excellent (non-tame) Cage along with Lynch style subject matter that many "Cage Fans" (I'm not sure if you should be offended by this or not, so go ahead and get offended but if you're the type who gets offended a lot then you probably shouldn't be reading this in the first place) will be able to get behind.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjB05QVQSsdoMPNuu-r-SwLd9rCCPn1IBkLJf5vktzPLmq9VN4b69ThWTfpA9SN-rhLAS0-5rMpmXMK4F2E-vBaBtdhb1J4IdPNImL_I8xvkQOOlD3kQq4amEQRTq6q4Ia6g5y69vEjPko/s1600/ncageTooCool.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="252" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjB05QVQSsdoMPNuu-r-SwLd9rCCPn1IBkLJf5vktzPLmq9VN4b69ThWTfpA9SN-rhLAS0-5rMpmXMK4F2E-vBaBtdhb1J4IdPNImL_I8xvkQOOlD3kQq4amEQRTq6q4Ia6g5y69vEjPko/s400/ncageTooCool.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">It's a good thing Nic Cage wasn't around in the 50's because James Dean wouldn't have stood a chance. </td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sailor Ripley (Cage) and Lula Fortune (Laura Dern) are star-crossed lovers with the entire wide world ahead of them. Unfortunately, part of this wide world turns out to be a total creeper with a knife who needs to be set straight (beaten to death) by Cage which ends up landing him 2 years in the slammer. Upon his exit, his always faithful sweetheart is right there to pick him up and give him a snakeskin jacket along with two years of pleasure all at once. Unfortunately (again, they tend to wind up on the unfortunate side of things quite often) Lula's mother, Marietta Fortune, also wants a piece of the Cage and decides that if she can't have him nobody can. Before we know it Cage (who has just kicked the shit out of yet another guy) and Fortune hit the road to get out of town while being tracked by a PI and the mob, both of who have been hired by the wonderfully vindictive Marietta Fortune to eliminate Sailor Ripley.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-5Eb0fMUaE6VHE8siwUyUIw2-8YZ4AkRMVdMoSS6vTdyvJ6GyP_HKj6EIZvFL0a1H4vmoNP_QN372wt47soBbdneEk5fV5Zx9Dm8_YKJ8vObWfi8mtEjSN_BW1L-8Kf7Xs2QbfSRLXhA/s1600/wild-at-heart-blu-ontheRoad.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-5Eb0fMUaE6VHE8siwUyUIw2-8YZ4AkRMVdMoSS6vTdyvJ6GyP_HKj6EIZvFL0a1H4vmoNP_QN372wt47soBbdneEk5fV5Zx9Dm8_YKJ8vObWfi8mtEjSN_BW1L-8Kf7Xs2QbfSRLXhA/s400/wild-at-heart-blu-ontheRoad.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Big Tuna" or bust.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As young lovers often do, they soon find themselves short on cash. They head to the town of Big Tuna, Texas where Cage can reunite with some of his rather un-savory 'ol buddies to try and scrape up a little extra cash. Enter one of the best supporting actor roles we've seen in a Cage movie thus far: Willem Dafoe (playing Bobby Peru, one of the creepiest mob bosses you've ever seen). But wait, is the wonderful and charming </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">(as Lula finds out in a rather spectacular way) </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Bobby Peru </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">really on their side? Or does he have his own motives in mind?...</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXEprTN-fQcVh7sid6CT9URRrDesMuq9Vkt6CSzG5Nn1QdZc-7quB9eVQhKY2dl7NKM6UbqT5dfOZq3E4c92Yd2yJlp67Xo-HOVgKGCvpbl-x3s3TJsCyhRPg8wvi4rGN302TrtOEkA3Y/s1600/WAH-clublove.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXEprTN-fQcVh7sid6CT9URRrDesMuq9Vkt6CSzG5Nn1QdZc-7quB9eVQhKY2dl7NKM6UbqT5dfOZq3E4c92Yd2yJlp67Xo-HOVgKGCvpbl-x3s3TJsCyhRPg8wvi4rGN302TrtOEkA3Y/s400/WAH-clublove.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Cage makes love in public with his clothes on...</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Throughout the film we are constantly presented with a rather (intentionally) blatant juxtaposition of Sailor Ripley as a </span><u style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P71Xx3EC67Y">classic gentlemanly heartthrob</a></u><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">, and </span><u style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://youtu.be/Wmof9ax_GS0?t=1m8s">a savage animal who can't be controlled by himself or anyone else</a></u><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">. In addition, many of the characters are eccentric to the point of being charming, even when they are anything but (i.e. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><u><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ibCDxmMfbrY">Bobby Peru</a></u></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><u><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ibCDxmMfbrY"> (Warning this scene is a wonderfully creepy and violent HUGE spoiler so only watch if you won't ever watch this movie, or you don't care about spoilers, but just want to some excellent Cage on Dafoe action)</a></u>). Even the locations seem to have an eccentric quality that helps Lynch create a world that is fun to watch even if it is beyond the realm of anything believable. </span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUGNuSIjESegV9dhEWlYlgjBp1m6pqLZMt3MkHVygKvtCSxj5YsKZsUKgpHO2tvsOqh7eh1D2qGSIOiktVd9s3dwozV94Z6mUjxgkLNq_dZWnGOYcNUGbvuAJ45gzV6bZe5lnAou3OPus/s1600/WAH-bedlove.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="168" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUGNuSIjESegV9dhEWlYlgjBp1m6pqLZMt3MkHVygKvtCSxj5YsKZsUKgpHO2tvsOqh7eh1D2qGSIOiktVd9s3dwozV94Z6mUjxgkLNq_dZWnGOYcNUGbvuAJ45gzV6bZe5lnAou3OPus/s400/WAH-bedlove.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">... and in private with his clothes off.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The previously mentioned eccentric juxtapositions may have been devised by Lynch, but it was fully executed (flawlessly) by Cage. In Wild at Heart, Cage not only shows his range as an actor, but shows his ability to put this range into a single cohesive character. He wears a snakeskin jacket, has perfect hair, tons of sex, drives a convertible, kicks ass, takes names, kicks more ass, protects his woman, kicks the shit out of people, and sings songs by Elvis. What more could anyone ever really ask for?</span><br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLV0wG3qlJv0eoAYRsvH0Sj7sqNqiQ2l5_dojMhVffYmVFb-IOpDafQTCSvUBhS2TQImzDUouB2e4po4iVJMxYey7v3US00b-ByPE9tV1z8kd_TmxC9_HstQlYZfgzVBuWjNt7ivudzT8/s1600/wild-at-heartGreatPic.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLV0wG3qlJv0eoAYRsvH0Sj7sqNqiQ2l5_dojMhVffYmVFb-IOpDafQTCSvUBhS2TQImzDUouB2e4po4iVJMxYey7v3US00b-ByPE9tV1z8kd_TmxC9_HstQlYZfgzVBuWjNt7ivudzT8/s400/wild-at-heartGreatPic.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I think this is from the film but I can't be sure. Regardless, this picture is too good not to post. </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Movie quotability:</span></b></div>
<div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Rockin' good news" (slaps ass)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px; text-align: start;">This is a snakeskin jacket! And for me it's a symbol of my individuality, and my belief... in personal freedom.</span>"</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"I guess I started smoking when I was about.... 4. My mom had already died from lung cancer."</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"I swear baby, you've got the sweetest cock."</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Man I had a boner with a capital O."</span></li>
</ul>
</div>
<b style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></b>
<b style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Plot Holes:</span></b><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This is a David Lynch movie, so the whole thing is a plot hole.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">They never stop for gas.</span></li>
</ul>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguIgBWg6roT2Q-D7aqXGxqlXfe64NFCdwnCpE-XpZ3s1AGjxnaicAnJi2ICOEPVIEdPvQ7EG3njH8Ce7xi9OzIAg5dsqWbOjCK4x2k11_jdQWt8perqbIrWZvCr_gWRD1qj5p0J-f5yDQ/s1600/NCcrazy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="80" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguIgBWg6roT2Q-D7aqXGxqlXfe64NFCdwnCpE-XpZ3s1AGjxnaicAnJi2ICOEPVIEdPvQ7EG3njH8Ce7xi9OzIAg5dsqWbOjCK4x2k11_jdQWt8perqbIrWZvCr_gWRD1qj5p0J-f5yDQ/s1600/NCcrazy.jpg" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
CAGEamatic</div>
</th><th><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNblWN4I4w821_P8qXPhW4LNqDm25qdmi4u-UhKXenpk2uMt3_PZaWaTQBjAgI9KNUJWePdX17bofjIb27OZOm_RqmbhZws1sm57AS1pLvJSaXxabO1xSTZSHB33lk8TPCd6B1HlyDCdQ/s1600/cageOscar_cropped.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="80" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNblWN4I4w821_P8qXPhW4LNqDm25qdmi4u-UhKXenpk2uMt3_PZaWaTQBjAgI9KNUJWePdX17bofjIb27OZOm_RqmbhZws1sm57AS1pLvJSaXxabO1xSTZSHB33lk8TPCd6B1HlyDCdQ/s200/cageOscar_cropped.jpg" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Cinamatic</div>
</th></tr>
<tr><th>Skyler</th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Acceptable</b></div>
</td><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Dreadful</b></div>
</td></tr>
<tr><th>Shauna</th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK813WdzqXnhndH7FRTzR8T9RSo0Ttg9D3jaU-lDS8pXZSy88X4FtTLe2kOLqeulvav90q8DMUqv1e8QT2s1vbZniYs9RuVNEBjm4QEnA0Ahl3SJV4MVCmEX2mu58pm_ROK6XUh9l_KCA/s1600/Thumbs-up-icon.png" /></div>
</td><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7w1vl4Nam-zrqCn1rTS_A2-KC9Ni0WbsEYHgPPZ3ZI2eImHzCtk4fnVmP3ULBtZ9QzNUDEdDgxolT5tacQBeigs6AbkOuoIDvAgVZhr6WDZlq45clYQ_oSxzjYsOMrbIu2W6uv6HBtyE/s1600/Thumbs-down-icon.png" style="font-size: 100%;" /></div>
</td></tr>
<tr><th>James</th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>3.61/5</b></div>
</td><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>3.85/5</b></div>
</td></tr>
<tr><th>Martine</th><td colspan="2"><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>!Half watched the CAGE!</b></div>
</td></tr>
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</div>
James Ayershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11560479592464116645noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5486647021928910059.post-41370227227791938482013-02-27T09:57:00.000-08:002013-02-27T18:33:34.950-08:00#59 Grindhouse<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<link href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/e/eb/Grindhouse3.jpg/215px-Grindhouse3.jpg" rel="image_src"></link>
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<a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/e/eb/Grindhouse3.jpg/215px-Grindhouse3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/e/eb/Grindhouse3.jpg/215px-Grindhouse3.jpg" width="216" /></span></a></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">#59 Grindhouse</span></b><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Year:</b> 2007</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;">Director: </b>Robert Rodriguez, Eli Roth, Quentin Tarantino, Edgar Wright, Rob Zombie</span><br />
<div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>MPAA Ra</b><b>ting: R</b></span></div>
</div>
<div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Epic Co-stars:</b> </span></div>
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Running Time:</b> 191 minutes</span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Time:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> 0.</b>14%</span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Kills/Deaths:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b>0</span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Flip-outs:</b> 1</span></span><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Skyler'</b><b>s Review: </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What can I even say about this movie? It is a 191 minute tome that is almost Cage free. Grindhouse is a double feature with some fake movie trailers in between. This is supposed to be artistic and that other artsy fartsy biz. The playbill looks like this:</span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Full movies</span></li>
<ol>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Planet Terror (No Nicolas Cage)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Deathproof (No Nicolas Cage)</span></li>
</ol>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Fake movie trailers</span></li>
<ol>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Machete (No Nicolas Cage)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Werewolf Women of the SS </b> (Nicolas Cage for 16 seconds)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Don't (No Nicolas Cage)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Thanksgiving (No Nicolas Cage)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Hobo with a Shotgun (No Nicolas Cage)</span></li>
</ol>
</ul>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So essentially there is 190 minutes of crap with 16 seconds of gold in the middle. Don't get me wrong, the chick from Planet Terror is pretty hot, I just would have rather have seen Cage play Kurt Russell's character in Deathproof. It would have increased my overall viewing experience. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/lZad00qYMbQ" width="420"></iframe>
</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So watch this clip and save yourself 3 hours of movie. Unless you are completing the A Year In the CAGE challenge, of course.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<div>
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Movie quotability:</span></b></div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"THIS IS MY (something)! AHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHA!"</span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguIgBWg6roT2Q-D7aqXGxqlXfe64NFCdwnCpE-XpZ3s1AGjxnaicAnJi2ICOEPVIEdPvQ7EG3njH8Ce7xi9OzIAg5dsqWbOjCK4x2k11_jdQWt8perqbIrWZvCr_gWRD1qj5p0J-f5yDQ/s1600/NCcrazy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="80" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguIgBWg6roT2Q-D7aqXGxqlXfe64NFCdwnCpE-XpZ3s1AGjxnaicAnJi2ICOEPVIEdPvQ7EG3njH8Ce7xi9OzIAg5dsqWbOjCK4x2k11_jdQWt8perqbIrWZvCr_gWRD1qj5p0J-f5yDQ/s1600/NCcrazy.jpg" /></span></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">CAGEamatic</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNblWN4I4w821_P8qXPhW4LNqDm25qdmi4u-UhKXenpk2uMt3_PZaWaTQBjAgI9KNUJWePdX17bofjIb27OZOm_RqmbhZws1sm57AS1pLvJSaXxabO1xSTZSHB33lk8TPCd6B1HlyDCdQ/s1600/cageOscar_cropped.jpg" imageanchor="1"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="80" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNblWN4I4w821_P8qXPhW4LNqDm25qdmi4u-UhKXenpk2uMt3_PZaWaTQBjAgI9KNUJWePdX17bofjIb27OZOm_RqmbhZws1sm57AS1pLvJSaXxabO1xSTZSHB33lk8TPCd6B1HlyDCdQ/s200/cageOscar_cropped.jpg" /></span></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Cinematic</span></div>
</th></tr>
<tr><th><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Skyler</span></th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Outstanding</span></b></div>
</td><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Dreadful</span></b></div>
</td></tr>
<tr><th><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shauna</span></th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK813WdzqXnhndH7FRTzR8T9RSo0Ttg9D3jaU-lDS8pXZSy88X4FtTLe2kOLqeulvav90q8DMUqv1e8QT2s1vbZniYs9RuVNEBjm4QEnA0Ahl3SJV4MVCmEX2mu58pm_ROK6XUh9l_KCA/s1600/Thumbs-up-icon.png" /></div>
</td><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7w1vl4Nam-zrqCn1rTS_A2-KC9Ni0WbsEYHgPPZ3ZI2eImHzCtk4fnVmP3ULBtZ9QzNUDEdDgxolT5tacQBeigs6AbkOuoIDvAgVZhr6WDZlq45clYQ_oSxzjYsOMrbIu2W6uv6HBtyE/s1600/Thumbs-down-icon.png" /></div>
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<tr><th><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">James</span></th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">4.66/5</span></b></div>
</td><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">3.91/5</span></b></div>
</td></tr>
<tr><th><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Martine</span></th><td colspan="2"><div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">!Stayed in the CAGE!</span></b></div>
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Skyler Weaverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13516715611434524812noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5486647021928910059.post-81235146027118343892013-02-25T21:27:00.000-08:002013-02-27T10:39:51.236-08:00#58 Birdy<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<head><link href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/a/a4/Birdy_ver1.jpg" rel="image_src"></link> </head>
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<a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/a/a4/Birdy_ver1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/a/a4/Birdy_ver1.jpg" width="216" /></a></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">#58 Birdy</span></b><br />
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<div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Year:</b> 1984</span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Director:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b>Alan Parker</span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>MPAA Ra</b><b>ting:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b>R</span></div>
</div>
<div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Epic Co-stars:</b> Matthew Modine</span></div>
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Running Time:</b> 120 mins</span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Time:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> 85</b>%</span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Kills: </b>0<b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Flip-outs:</b> 5</span></span><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>James'</b><b> Stream of Conscience:</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Al Columbato (NIc Cage) just got out of a military hospital and has bandages all over his face. While on the train he drifts off while muttering something about "Birdy" and what he put him through when they were kids. Cage was a popular kid who befriends "Birdy", a outcast who captures and trains pigeons. Together they build a pigeon coup and use special home-made bird costumes to capture birds from a mill at night. Birdy takes a huge fall and doesn't seem to care. He's just happy that he got to fly.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
In present day, Cage arrives in a military mental hospital. Birdy is locked up in a cell and doesn't communicate with anyone. He is crouched in the corner and appears to have severe mental damage. Cage is there to help the doctors figure out what the hell is wrong with Birdy. Queue dramatic Cage-Birdy 1 on 1 in a prison cell. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJ3_O4Qj9QYOEFv_mG8pkI-jp-YBUQM5Pn4MaiAWP2ottWnYu6pHuVwP-w6dI_mQ7Bc7yhY8SLWhSZRFVEtRsDAsk7bBlYwkEdqVIFC_zwDe7P25VCn8TCNpXnGrnMHCfz-OTAY7YlftQ/s1600/birdy_love.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="245" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJ3_O4Qj9QYOEFv_mG8pkI-jp-YBUQM5Pn4MaiAWP2ottWnYu6pHuVwP-w6dI_mQ7Bc7yhY8SLWhSZRFVEtRsDAsk7bBlYwkEdqVIFC_zwDe7P25VCn8TCNpXnGrnMHCfz-OTAY7YlftQ/s400/birdy_love.jpeg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Nic Cage is virtually the only person on earth that can make love to another man in a bird costume and still look totally awesome doing it.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>1st attempt:</b> Cage tries to talk about old times and remember the good ones. No dice, Birdy won't say a word to him and doesn't even really look at him.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>2nd attempt:</b> Cage is frustrated, even slightly angry with Birdy. Still nothing.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>3rd attempt:</b> Cage gets real. He talks life and philosophy but Birdy remains in the same twisted squatting pose that he's always been in.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>4th attempt:</b> Cage feeds Birdy. Birdy eats. Birdy makes eye contact.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>5th attempt:</b> Cage Jokes... BIRDY SMILES!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>6th attempt: </b>Sponge bath with the nurse. Cage makes a good move by just observing</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>7th attempt:</b> Pure Cage rage all directed towards Birdy. Birdy cries. Cage leaves. Cage cries. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>8th attempt: </b>Baseballs...</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4uRBLsQeBynrW_vdTlfSXY9nDVWFttuVin3EGDBY8gOCQrfZlB4i7garD8Bh9C4VIaw8m8R6gIgZiLOeiv3j3NbVNIFWyKszhSP6uzqiy65bhe7JGE4Mvz_PskuPgP2hIrIOncZMtZCk/s1600/birdy_face.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="219" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4uRBLsQeBynrW_vdTlfSXY9nDVWFttuVin3EGDBY8gOCQrfZlB4i7garD8Bh9C4VIaw8m8R6gIgZiLOeiv3j3NbVNIFWyKszhSP6uzqiy65bhe7JGE4Mvz_PskuPgP2hIrIOncZMtZCk/s400/birdy_face.jpeg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A face that only a mother could love. ...and a father. ...and every other person on the face of the earth.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Back in the day, more memories flow by. They steal a car and drive to the beach. Cage nails a chick while Birdy creeps out her friend and drives them away. Cage looks pissed; blue balls for sure. Birdy can't stop thinking about birds, not chicks, birds. He stays up all night playing with birds, creates amazing Di Vinci style flying machines, gives school reports on feathers, and even homemade human sized wings that may just allow him to finally bridge the human-avian divide. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Bottom line: This movie isn't bad. If you want to see something a bit out of the ordinary with plenty of young Charming Cage, Birdy is the film for you. And even if you find that it isn't the film for you stick around for the ending. The final 2 minutes are probably the best 2 minutes in the entire film. </span><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Movie quotability:</span></b><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">(whispers) "Sure you feel like it."</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"I want to go back and change, I look stupid." "Not to a bird Al."</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"You're wrong! They're dead: plucked and fucked!"</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Whoa, his foot looks like a weird giant dong." - James</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Mammary glands? MAMMARY GLANDS?!? No, we're talking tits here! Big tits... Round tits... Fleshy tits... Full tits..."</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"This fucking fucker's fucked" (Cage's Dad when trying to start the car, but used again by Cage 9 years later in Deadfall)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"This guy's really into birds." - Skyler</span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;">Plot Holes:</b></span><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Anytime anything exciting happens La Bamba plays.</span></li>
</ul>
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CAGEamatic</div>
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Cinamatic</div>
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<tr><th>Skyler</th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Exceeds Expectations</b></div>
</td><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Exceeds Expectations</b></div>
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<tr><th>Shauna</th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK813WdzqXnhndH7FRTzR8T9RSo0Ttg9D3jaU-lDS8pXZSy88X4FtTLe2kOLqeulvav90q8DMUqv1e8QT2s1vbZniYs9RuVNEBjm4QEnA0Ahl3SJV4MVCmEX2mu58pm_ROK6XUh9l_KCA/s1600/Thumbs-up-icon.png" style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px;" /></div>
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<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK813WdzqXnhndH7FRTzR8T9RSo0Ttg9D3jaU-lDS8pXZSy88X4FtTLe2kOLqeulvav90q8DMUqv1e8QT2s1vbZniYs9RuVNEBjm4QEnA0Ahl3SJV4MVCmEX2mu58pm_ROK6XUh9l_KCA/s1600/Thumbs-up-icon.png" style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px;" /></div>
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<tr><th>James</th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>3.81/5</b></div>
</td><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>3.22/5</b></div>
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<tr><th>Martine</th><td colspan="2"><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>!Huffed her blankey while being fixated on the Cage!</b></div>
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James Ayershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11560479592464116645noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5486647021928910059.post-91373141204402781882013-01-31T21:29:00.000-08:002013-02-04T13:41:58.644-08:00#57 The Boy in Blue<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/5/5d/Theboyinblue.jpg/215px-Theboyinblue.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/5/5d/Theboyinblue.jpg/215px-Theboyinblue.jpg" width="216" /></a></div>
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<b style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">#57<span style="font-weight: normal;"> </span></span></b><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: x-large;"><b>The Boy in Blue</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Year:</b> 1986</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Director:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b>Charles Jarrot</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>MPAA Ra</b><b>ting:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b>R</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Epic Co-stars:</b> A guy that looks like Robert Downey Jr, Christopher Plummer</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Running Time:</b> 100 minutes</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Time:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b>100%</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Kills:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b>0</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Flip-outs:</b> 4</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: large;"><b>Shauna'</b><b>s Review: </b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Boy in Blue is a period film about sculling (rowing), which the intro text tells us was basically the only sport in the era that this film is set. We open to Nic Cage kicking some ass in a race, where everyone's wearing dirty (period) clothing and rowing to 80's music, inexplicably. Cage tries to smuggle some moonshine into America (presumably his night job) and is chased down by some policemen/ religious nuttos. He ends up on a boat to Philadelphia with a man who wants to manage him in some American races. Sporting movie type cliches go here.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiG7-BpZKPN0hBcPTJWJ1m7MvBvsqi7QANJasI66A9VEA9WlPcewA48psWibH_TGyg3weV8Ybl7XoLFwA5Fzz1-VcaKMK7pROSNM2ajhH76xJRk-CsB1FOMJcVhLdeDmaq2FfyEMOZIkKI/s1600/NicCage_BoyInBlue84.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="295" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiG7-BpZKPN0hBcPTJWJ1m7MvBvsqi7QANJasI66A9VEA9WlPcewA48psWibH_TGyg3weV8Ybl7XoLFwA5Fzz1-VcaKMK7pROSNM2ajhH76xJRk-CsB1FOMJcVhLdeDmaq2FfyEMOZIkKI/s400/NicCage_BoyInBlue84.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Cage, so hot right now, Cage.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Martine is creaming her pants about this movie about 2 minutes in. His teeth aren't great, but he is young and super-ripped and HAWT. Yum. My favorite moment so far is when James says, "This is pretty much what Canada was like then," about a scene where the characters are at a circus in Philadelphia, all waving American flags, in case you missed the part where they said they were going to Philly. Anyway, the subject material isn't all that riveting-- it's based on the true story of Ned Hanlan, a Canadian who was one of the first rowers to use a sliding seat. Yes, a sliding seat pulls a lot of focus in this movie.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgcQ6HDpW7WAFi-lh7Y8tsQXt0Y6Q-TcjB6WXnjTZsRNv1QTrvgpvNDf1X0E5yhmtc7xlozCKe_-83utmpEQpXzfHMRISNVX9vor-EklIfDUmDbeEZpHOPxSoPehds3OnCw9VCzZsl7OI/s1600/boyinblue.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgcQ6HDpW7WAFi-lh7Y8tsQXt0Y6Q-TcjB6WXnjTZsRNv1QTrvgpvNDf1X0E5yhmtc7xlozCKe_-83utmpEQpXzfHMRISNVX9vor-EklIfDUmDbeEZpHOPxSoPehds3OnCw9VCzZsl7OI/s400/boyinblue.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I'm young and pretty, give me some money.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">TRIVIA: The steamboat shown in this movie is the oldest operating steam powered vessel in North America today. Woot. If you take a quick gander at Ned Hanlan's <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ned_Hanlan" target="_blank">wikipedia page</a>, you will see that this movie is very <i>loosely </i>based on his life. Best not to dwell on such things and just stare into those dreamy blue eyes, or gaze at those sweaty laterals.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4JrmM_U4b0rAH6mxH0HV6jx9Di-HFYczmppRgwZ8UlGnTtNGakFvw9lPHj_qVDIgBhyG4zl2gaFAg_LJSGqtMMbn776KI3IN4ZXYfh9mvC123h4KFSETFjqwlhiLST6wEWqkyObhcLko/s1600/gunfaceboyinblue.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="223" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4JrmM_U4b0rAH6mxH0HV6jx9Di-HFYczmppRgwZ8UlGnTtNGakFvw9lPHj_qVDIgBhyG4zl2gaFAg_LJSGqtMMbn776KI3IN4ZXYfh9mvC123h4KFSETFjqwlhiLST6wEWqkyObhcLko/s400/gunfaceboyinblue.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This gun tastes terrible! Where have you been keeping it, in your ass?</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In sum, I think it's worth seeing Cage in this movie, if only to see his rippling seating muscles, tight ass, and humongous sweatpants bulge. There are also some sexy lady bits, if that's more what you're into. But Cage is the real gem here-- young, handsome, and already earnest about investing himself fully into each character.</span><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Movie quotability:</span></b></div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Should we let them finish, sir?"</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"The Boy in Blue." "That makes me sound like some kind of fancy boy!"</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"You take the two on the right." "YOU take the two on the right."</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Big words don't butter the beans."</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Well, they say I look bigger with my clothes off."</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"SHE'S FINE, BUGGER OFF."</span></li>
</ul>
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Plot Holes:</span></b><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Characters in America drinking booze.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Souvenir pillowcases are a thing. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">James says the clock in the background of the movie at 1:20 does not make sense.</span></li>
</ul>
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CAGEamatic</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNblWN4I4w821_P8qXPhW4LNqDm25qdmi4u-UhKXenpk2uMt3_PZaWaTQBjAgI9KNUJWePdX17bofjIb27OZOm_RqmbhZws1sm57AS1pLvJSaXxabO1xSTZSHB33lk8TPCd6B1HlyDCdQ/s1600/cageOscar_cropped.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="80" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNblWN4I4w821_P8qXPhW4LNqDm25qdmi4u-UhKXenpk2uMt3_PZaWaTQBjAgI9KNUJWePdX17bofjIb27OZOm_RqmbhZws1sm57AS1pLvJSaXxabO1xSTZSHB33lk8TPCd6B1HlyDCdQ/s200/cageOscar_cropped.jpg" /></a></div>
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Cinematic</div>
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<tr><th>Skyler</th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Exceeds Expectations</b></div>
</td><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Exceeds Expectations</b></div>
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<tr><th>Shauna</th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK813WdzqXnhndH7FRTzR8T9RSo0Ttg9D3jaU-lDS8pXZSy88X4FtTLe2kOLqeulvav90q8DMUqv1e8QT2s1vbZniYs9RuVNEBjm4QEnA0Ahl3SJV4MVCmEX2mu58pm_ROK6XUh9l_KCA/s1600/Thumbs-up-icon.png" /></div>
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<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK813WdzqXnhndH7FRTzR8T9RSo0Ttg9D3jaU-lDS8pXZSy88X4FtTLe2kOLqeulvav90q8DMUqv1e8QT2s1vbZniYs9RuVNEBjm4QEnA0Ahl3SJV4MVCmEX2mu58pm_ROK6XUh9l_KCA/s1600/Thumbs-up-icon.png" /></div>
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<tr><th>James</th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>3.08/5</b></div>
</td><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>2.91/5</b></div>
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<tr><th>Martine</th><td colspan="2"><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Hot and bothered in the Cage.</b></div>
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James Ayershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11560479592464116645noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5486647021928910059.post-12162435375212453072013-01-29T09:51:00.000-08:002013-01-29T11:39:10.658-08:00#56 G-Force<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/f/f5/G-Force_poster.jpg/220px-G-Force_poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/f/f5/G-Force_poster.jpg/220px-G-Force_poster.jpg" width="216" /></span></a></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">#56 G-Force</span></b></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Year:</b> 2009</span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Director:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b>Hoyt Yeatman</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>MPAA Ra</b><b>ting:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b>PG</span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Epic Co-stars:</b> Will Arnett, Zach Galifianakis, Sam Rockwell, Tracy Morgan, Penelope Cruz, Jon Favreau, Steve Buschemi</span></div>
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Running Time:</b> 88 mins</span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Time: </b>5<b style="font-weight: normal;">%</b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Kills:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b>0</span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Flip-outs:</b> 0</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Shauna'</b><b>s Review: </b></span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As you may have noticed on the Epic Co-Stars list, there are a lot of freaking famous people in this kid's movie. Most of them are rodents. Dr Cage is a star-nosed mole, featuring his voice from Peggy Sue, in case you were missing it. Zach Galifianakis is probably the most humorous (not saying much) as a human person who talks to guinea pigs. Will Arnett's innate awesomeness is unfortunately subdued to a dull roar, but Penelope Cruz is still pretty goddamn sexy as a guinea pig, go figure.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8p3lKwCwBgASwgA0vq313nN5K50Vqvki_S_935PdeBprrhO0YgsLa2w6rf0Fu1tW6JZBKn9boxFaSQz3aSRA_m38fJxPEaido8gLbbn93usRlNlFUhYGLG1SzDEnchF5cogWQdQFpRVI/s1600/speckles-g-force.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="289" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8p3lKwCwBgASwgA0vq313nN5K50Vqvki_S_935PdeBprrhO0YgsLa2w6rf0Fu1tW6JZBKn9boxFaSQz3aSRA_m38fJxPEaido8gLbbn93usRlNlFUhYGLG1SzDEnchF5cogWQdQFpRVI/s400/speckles-g-force.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The mole is the mole! Oh, spoiler alert.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Zach Galifianakis runs a Homeland Security special unit comprised of 3 guinea pigs, a mole (Nic Cage) a fly, and some cockroaches. On the eve of a crucial performance review, they run an op and retrieve a secret file from the computer of an evil bad guy (Bill Nighy, of course). When the big boss (Will Arnett) shows up for the review, the stolen file turns out to be the plans for an espresso maker, and their unit is canned. The animals are taken to a pet shop and must escape to meet back up with Zach. Hilarious pet-related hijinks ensue. It turns out that the espresso maker (and all of the other appliances in the world) is some kind of transformer robot weapon, so the guinea pigs have to save the world from the evil bad guy.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5nRuoerRTaed9lN50wDPykAFh7U75EFWswq50_Dy_qDWmnW2cp7kYRpd4qTBBu11XP9lNl3eCHYRB17MNJFwFABlKQgIeWOTIrhz5XXKihbovmCwqbf-WrWQtsnZIN3CzkjkKtJVdv9U/s1600/g_force59.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="262" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5nRuoerRTaed9lN50wDPykAFh7U75EFWswq50_Dy_qDWmnW2cp7kYRpd4qTBBu11XP9lNl3eCHYRB17MNJFwFABlKQgIeWOTIrhz5XXKihbovmCwqbf-WrWQtsnZIN3CzkjkKtJVdv9U/s400/g_force59.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Zach Galifiankis: "This is actually preferable to Hangover 2."</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This was actually... not terrible. Not great, certainly, but not terrible. I mean, it's not like this has any real character development or plot interest, but I appreciate the Jerry Bruckheimer style (The Rock, Con Air) in a kid's movie, what can I say? Unfortunately, the soundtrack is 100% Black Eyed Peas, and Cage time is limited.</span><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Movie quotability:</span></b></div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"I'm a mole, I've got a thing for worms."</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"No escape! I repeat, no escape!"</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"No, not the cage! I don't do cages!"</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"C'mon Specks, act cute." "I don't have that kind of range."</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"I wanted you to think of yourselves as more than just balls of fur, waiting for your next pellet."</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"You ever google the word 'mole'?... Three million entries on how to exterminate them!"</span></li>
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<b style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Plot Holes:</span></b><br />
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<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In a movie where guinea pigs are superspies... what plots holes </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">could </i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">there be?</span></li>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguIgBWg6roT2Q-D7aqXGxqlXfe64NFCdwnCpE-XpZ3s1AGjxnaicAnJi2ICOEPVIEdPvQ7EG3njH8Ce7xi9OzIAg5dsqWbOjCK4x2k11_jdQWt8perqbIrWZvCr_gWRD1qj5p0J-f5yDQ/s1600/NCcrazy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="80" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguIgBWg6roT2Q-D7aqXGxqlXfe64NFCdwnCpE-XpZ3s1AGjxnaicAnJi2ICOEPVIEdPvQ7EG3njH8Ce7xi9OzIAg5dsqWbOjCK4x2k11_jdQWt8perqbIrWZvCr_gWRD1qj5p0J-f5yDQ/s1600/NCcrazy.jpg" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">CAGEamatic</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNblWN4I4w821_P8qXPhW4LNqDm25qdmi4u-UhKXenpk2uMt3_PZaWaTQBjAgI9KNUJWePdX17bofjIb27OZOm_RqmbhZws1sm57AS1pLvJSaXxabO1xSTZSHB33lk8TPCd6B1HlyDCdQ/s1600/cageOscar_cropped.jpg" imageanchor="1"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="80" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNblWN4I4w821_P8qXPhW4LNqDm25qdmi4u-UhKXenpk2uMt3_PZaWaTQBjAgI9KNUJWePdX17bofjIb27OZOm_RqmbhZws1sm57AS1pLvJSaXxabO1xSTZSHB33lk8TPCd6B1HlyDCdQ/s200/cageOscar_cropped.jpg" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Cinematic</span></div>
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<tr><th><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Skyler</span></th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Acceptable</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Poor</span></b></div>
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<tr><th><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shauna</span></th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK813WdzqXnhndH7FRTzR8T9RSo0Ttg9D3jaU-lDS8pXZSy88X4FtTLe2kOLqeulvav90q8DMUqv1e8QT2s1vbZniYs9RuVNEBjm4QEnA0Ahl3SJV4MVCmEX2mu58pm_ROK6XUh9l_KCA/s1600/Thumbs-up-icon.png" /></div>
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<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7w1vl4Nam-zrqCn1rTS_A2-KC9Ni0WbsEYHgPPZ3ZI2eImHzCtk4fnVmP3ULBtZ9QzNUDEdDgxolT5tacQBeigs6AbkOuoIDvAgVZhr6WDZlq45clYQ_oSxzjYsOMrbIu2W6uv6HBtyE/s1600/Thumbs-down-icon.png" /></div>
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<tr><th><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">James</span></th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">3.14159/5</span></b></div>
</td><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">2.19/5</span></b></div>
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<tr><th><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Martine</span></th><td colspan="2"><div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Pacified the baby in the Cage.</span></b></div>
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Skyler Weaverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13516715611434524812noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5486647021928910059.post-18577289211001176132013-01-27T04:00:00.000-08:002013-01-28T09:08:08.152-08:00#55 Never on Tuesday<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<link href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/d/db/Never_On_Tuesday_Poster.jpg" rel="image_src"></link>
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<a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/d/db/Never_On_Tuesday_Poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/d/db/Never_On_Tuesday_Poster.jpg" width="216" /></a></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">#55 Never on Tuesday</span></b></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Year:</b> 1989</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Director:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b>Adam Rifkin</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>MPAA Ra</b><b>ting:</b><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQZR_Ec2__PmfX00-UnvJU29CDS9S1wGVgMhIyUPCM2aStX3hkHo_1R2F_rICglWdIXMKEPV1WL-ftHTkL9bpk8F7_erBOPLk3fzjx4BaePzC8mW3DN1M03RoTfHkGG3niqyTw2xgbZro/s1600/40px-RATED_R.svg.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="15" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQZR_Ec2__PmfX00-UnvJU29CDS9S1wGVgMhIyUPCM2aStX3hkHo_1R2F_rICglWdIXMKEPV1WL-ftHTkL9bpk8F7_erBOPLk3fzjx4BaePzC8mW3DN1M03RoTfHkGG3niqyTw2xgbZro/s1600/40px-RATED_R.svg.png" /></a></span></div>
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<div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Epic Co-stars:</b> Gilbert Gottfried, Charlie Sheen, the coach from Mighty Ducks</span></div>
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Running Time:</b> 89 minutes</span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Time:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b>< 1%</span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Kills/Deaths:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b>0</span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Flip-outs:</b> 0</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Group Review:</b></span><b style="font-size: 100%;"> </b><span style="font-size: 100%;">When Nicolas Cage, the greatest actor in human history, is credited in a movie as "man in red car" you know you are in for a real shit show. Is that what you get? Read on and find out...</span></span><br />
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<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEholVqP-w-KWWo46NFYW1p_s4W3cnw_6eOjoHWYiQlXTvyg6Rg6KnbLSP1lJPgPfsao_R5uhptg9kOZRJ94G38UkrJGCbJGqIIKWj3vUjXz3wvFE8CCWNXXgUM0iQTqaQhDU93Iwh3GlxI/s1600/CageCat.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="394" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEholVqP-w-KWWo46NFYW1p_s4W3cnw_6eOjoHWYiQlXTvyg6Rg6KnbLSP1lJPgPfsao_R5uhptg9kOZRJ94G38UkrJGCbJGqIIKWj3vUjXz3wvFE8CCWNXXgUM0iQTqaQhDU93Iwh3GlxI/s400/CageCat.jpeg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px;">This has nothing to do with the movie. It's just a picture of our cat Nicky who watches every film with is. He's a big Cage fan.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 100%;">Two dudes go on a road trip from Ohio for L.A., Cali to see some T&A. They start with a painful conversation about their hair. Yeah, the guys. They immediately crash into a red VW bug with a "hot" chick in it. This really pissed us off because the only reason we are watching this movie is to Nicolas Cage play the bit part "man in red car." We saw the main characters hit a red car and were super excited, but alas, no Cage here; keep watching. More boring conversation, then... RED CAR! RED CAR! Lo and behold a fake-nosed Nicolas Cage steps out of a car and says "Is anybody hurt? Can I give somebody a lift? (laughs </span>maniacally)<span style="font-size: 100%;"> " (much like how he delivered the line "You mean, my wang?" from Peggy Sue), laughs, and drives off. That's it folks! 10 </span>minutes<span style="font-size: 100%;"> in and there is no more Cage in store for us. But that 20 seconds with him on the screen was worth it. It was like a cross between Charlie Bodell and Acid Yellow. After this the movie goes about like this: They say "lesbo" a lot. Stuff happens (and by "stuff" I mean not really much of anything). We see tits. Roll credits.</span></span><br />
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<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjiAfIzIgYqwy849pCIWf8_gqOSzwqP2rmhRTeS8oafZBOFriRkNctiQZmddS_Nxi1IPBpvmtKYKo7Z0ikcUeJqN5fm9l1OU-lqPVXThQPAcs1bLKSejdtzb1kPt0QRLmIH071h92Qt_E/s1600/600full-never-on-tuesday-screenshot.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="218" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjiAfIzIgYqwy849pCIWf8_gqOSzwqP2rmhRTeS8oafZBOFriRkNctiQZmddS_Nxi1IPBpvmtKYKo7Z0ikcUeJqN5fm9l1OU-lqPVXThQPAcs1bLKSejdtzb1kPt0QRLmIH071h92Qt_E/s400/600full-never-on-tuesday-screenshot.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px;">It's okay if his nose scares you. He is only testing your love. Submit to it.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 100%;">In case you didn't figure it out the answer to the previously asked question it is yes, a total shit show. Despite this fact, Cage's "Man in Red Car" was delivered with more style and creativity than any other man in any colored car and all of </span>cinematic<span style="font-size: 100%;"> history. Using his shamanic powers he takes what would have been a throw away part to any other hack-job of an actor and turns it into something unexpected, funny, jarring, strange, and above all memorable. Just another small gift to all his children... ...thank you father.</span></span><br />
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<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gCi3ZQWA6j8&feature=share&list=UUlN1a59sxVWiTtbJrFU_XLQ"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/gCi3ZQWA6j8?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></a></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Movie quotability:</span></b><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"California or boobs" - bumper sticker</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Is anybody hurt? CanI give comebody a lift?"</span></li>
</ul>
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<b style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Plot Holes:</span></b><br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">
CAGEamatic</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNblWN4I4w821_P8qXPhW4LNqDm25qdmi4u-UhKXenpk2uMt3_PZaWaTQBjAgI9KNUJWePdX17bofjIb27OZOm_RqmbhZws1sm57AS1pLvJSaXxabO1xSTZSHB33lk8TPCd6B1HlyDCdQ/s1600/cageOscar_cropped.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="80" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNblWN4I4w821_P8qXPhW4LNqDm25qdmi4u-UhKXenpk2uMt3_PZaWaTQBjAgI9KNUJWePdX17bofjIb27OZOm_RqmbhZws1sm57AS1pLvJSaXxabO1xSTZSHB33lk8TPCd6B1HlyDCdQ/s200/cageOscar_cropped.jpg" /></a></div>
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Cinematic</div>
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<tr><th>Skyler</th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Exceeds Expectations</b></div>
</td><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Dreadful</b></div>
</td></tr>
<tr><th>Shauna</th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7w1vl4Nam-zrqCn1rTS_A2-KC9Ni0WbsEYHgPPZ3ZI2eImHzCtk4fnVmP3ULBtZ9QzNUDEdDgxolT5tacQBeigs6AbkOuoIDvAgVZhr6WDZlq45clYQ_oSxzjYsOMrbIu2W6uv6HBtyE/s1600/Thumbs-down-icon.png" style="font-size: 100%;" /></div>
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<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7w1vl4Nam-zrqCn1rTS_A2-KC9Ni0WbsEYHgPPZ3ZI2eImHzCtk4fnVmP3ULBtZ9QzNUDEdDgxolT5tacQBeigs6AbkOuoIDvAgVZhr6WDZlq45clYQ_oSxzjYsOMrbIu2W6uv6HBtyE/s1600/Thumbs-down-icon.png" style="font-size: 100%;" /></div>
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<tr><th>James</th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>3.77/5</b></div>
</td><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>2.01/5</b></div>
</td></tr>
<tr><th>Martine</th><td colspan="2"><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>!Read in the CAGE!</b></div>
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James Ayershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11560479592464116645noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5486647021928910059.post-56422568482489909442013-01-25T11:14:00.000-08:002013-01-26T21:19:27.507-08:00#54 Industrial Symphony No. 1: The Dream of the Brokenhearted<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">#54 Industrial Symphony No. 1: The Dream of the Brokenhearted</span></b></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Year:</b> 1990</span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Director:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b>David Lynch</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>MPAA Ra</b><b>ting:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b>PG</span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Epic Co-stars:</b> Laura Dern</span></div>
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Running Time:</b> 50 mins</span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Time:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b>4%</span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Kills:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b>0</span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Flip-outs:</b> 0</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Skyler'</span></b><b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">s Review:</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif;"> </span></b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">For this one, we didn't know what to expect. I mean, its a David Lynch musical with Nicolas Cage in it. No one could possibly know what to expect. Unfortunately, Nicolas Cage is only on screen for 2 minutes and is not present for any of the trippy "dream sequence." Essentially this 50 minute film starts with a phone conversation where Nicolas Cage breaks up with some chick. This takes 2 minutes. The rest of the movie is supposed to be what is going on inside the subconscious of the girl. It is very dark in there, which makes sense, breaking up with Cage would be very dark.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNqFxfCTsKEeCCxQp5ahhDHiOd55tJxmOtW2pK5SEOKoK2V5LsBkZHTJlzGFG692DhsovP3yVschpteS4y-wjdyH1QDDIaF5hputBGvD3hK-1lXm2A4pc7mgjlmk7zkMD42Q9wmxAuCcA/s1600/industrialsymphonyno119.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="296" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNqFxfCTsKEeCCxQp5ahhDHiOd55tJxmOtW2pK5SEOKoK2V5LsBkZHTJlzGFG692DhsovP3yVschpteS4y-wjdyH1QDDIaF5hputBGvD3hK-1lXm2A4pc7mgjlmk7zkMD42Q9wmxAuCcA/s400/industrialsymphonyno119.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This beautiful face graces the screen for only 2 minutes.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Once the musical starts, you realize that the bass line starts is identical to the music in Twin Peaks. This makes sense since it has the same composer and singer, Andre Badalamenti and Julee Cruise. The musical continues with ten songs.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Here is a succinct summary of action during the ten songs:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<ol>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Naked chick, twisted. Some actor playing Nicolas cage floating through her mind.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Flying around chick gets eaten by a car.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Midget from Twin Peaks saws a log.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Chick is flying around in a spotlight.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sounds of cats mating and a large dancing 10 foot tall demon.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A guy narrates and searchlights look for the naked chick.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Midget recites the conversation from the beginning while a guy plays clarinet.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Chick sings a song from Twin Peaks from the trunk of a car.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Naked dead babies float about.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Chick floats around in spotlights singing another Twin Peaks song.</span></li>
</ol>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgm8_HbSPA3ipfKHJSQRPx6muc8mdrnh8LPJT_CAqkXLQUjlUZao3efkyYjNERD8Yz6SVrnPNp8kHlpaZD_W48d55sFFPVbx1XxOHt40NsO4unymWJiGw7TqgLTsbuAxsGpyYYIJXsLHGM/s1600/industrialsymphony2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgm8_HbSPA3ipfKHJSQRPx6muc8mdrnh8LPJT_CAqkXLQUjlUZao3efkyYjNERD8Yz6SVrnPNp8kHlpaZD_W48d55sFFPVbx1XxOHt40NsO4unymWJiGw7TqgLTsbuAxsGpyYYIJXsLHGM/s400/industrialsymphony2.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Some weird "skinned deer" dances on the stage. It's weird.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You can find this on Youtube. It's weird, so I would suggest watching it when you can't fall asleep.</span><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Movie quotability:</span></b></div>
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<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"I just said juxtaposition, write that down." -James</span></li>
</ul>
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<b style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Plot Holes:</span></b><br />
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CAGEamatic</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNblWN4I4w821_P8qXPhW4LNqDm25qdmi4u-UhKXenpk2uMt3_PZaWaTQBjAgI9KNUJWePdX17bofjIb27OZOm_RqmbhZws1sm57AS1pLvJSaXxabO1xSTZSHB33lk8TPCd6B1HlyDCdQ/s1600/cageOscar_cropped.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="80" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNblWN4I4w821_P8qXPhW4LNqDm25qdmi4u-UhKXenpk2uMt3_PZaWaTQBjAgI9KNUJWePdX17bofjIb27OZOm_RqmbhZws1sm57AS1pLvJSaXxabO1xSTZSHB33lk8TPCd6B1HlyDCdQ/s200/cageOscar_cropped.jpg" /></a></div>
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Cinematic</div>
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<tr><th>Skyler</th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Poor</b></div>
</td><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Troll</b></div>
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<tr><th>Shauna</th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7w1vl4Nam-zrqCn1rTS_A2-KC9Ni0WbsEYHgPPZ3ZI2eImHzCtk4fnVmP3ULBtZ9QzNUDEdDgxolT5tacQBeigs6AbkOuoIDvAgVZhr6WDZlq45clYQ_oSxzjYsOMrbIu2W6uv6HBtyE/s1600/Thumbs-down-icon.png" /></div>
</td><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7w1vl4Nam-zrqCn1rTS_A2-KC9Ni0WbsEYHgPPZ3ZI2eImHzCtk4fnVmP3ULBtZ9QzNUDEdDgxolT5tacQBeigs6AbkOuoIDvAgVZhr6WDZlq45clYQ_oSxzjYsOMrbIu2W6uv6HBtyE/s1600/Thumbs-down-icon.png" /></div>
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<tr><th>James</th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>1.44/5.00</b></div>
</td><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>1.71/5.00</b></div>
</td></tr>
<tr><th>Martine</th><td colspan="2"><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>!Dozed off in the Cage!</b></div>
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James Ayershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11560479592464116645noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5486647021928910059.post-6794823657820764612013-01-23T09:48:00.000-08:002013-01-23T12:23:00.574-08:00#53 Astro Boy<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">#53 Astro Boy</span></b><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Year:</b> 2009</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Director:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b>David Bowers</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>MPAA Ra</b><b>ting:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b>PG</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Epic Co-stars:</b> Donald Sutherland, Nathan Lane</span></div>
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Running Time:</b> 94 minutes</span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Time:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b>15%</span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Kills:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b>0</span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Flip-outs:</b> 0</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Skyler'</b><b>s Review:</b><b> </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Nicolas Cage is cutting-edge scientist, Dr. Tenma, in the futuristic Metro City. This futuristic city is a Wall-E type oasis, complete with robot slaves, floating above a Wall-E type destroyed Earth surface. Tenma's son, Toby, is a real smart-alec know-it-all who sneaks into his dad's secret lab, full of new government weapons, and gets himself killed within the first 15 minutes. This, of course fills Tenma with regret, since we was always too busy for Toby: a real "cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon" situation.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Dr. Tenma only hangs out with his son in hologram form.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Tenma, stricken with grief, uses a newly discovered, powerfully "good" blue core of a star to power a Toby-lookalike robot. Although this robot Toby has meat Toby's memories (how?), it isn't as nerdy as meat Toby and Tenma kicks him/it out of the house. Meanwhile, the President wants to use the star cores to jumpstart a war that will win him the election, and he chases robot Toby off Metro City to the surface, where he becomes "Astro" and masquerades as a real boy. Astro robot meets a gang of Oliver Twist-esque kids on the surface. There is an epic battle, miraculous ending, etc.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This is not his son sleeping. It is a robot. His son is dead.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In the end this story is about good v. evil and equal treatment and respect for all self-aware and intelligent beings (robots or otherwise). This is all fine and all, but I can't get over the fact that they gloss right over the fact that Dr. Tenma's son, who seemed like a great kid, was laser blasted into dust without warning. It was almost a footnote, a preface. They did not delve into the fact that Dr. Tenma is facing a very real delusion leaving him very compromised. He builds Astro, but keep in mind that he hastily made a self-aware robot with the emotional intelligence of a grade-schooler, yet gave it laser cannons, machine guns, rocket feet, and put a star's core (whatever that means) inside it. What if this robot threw a tantrum and shot up the town, lasered some grandmas, and detonated himself?</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgviLd0pv9PpO3McOl2O878qgr8fUzbtvdTswS1vClik-iYyG1ItHorVGClPo9jrlBJbaDc06gvN4DUF9pTNzH9nYCDoHwr1XgjBKKDxh7lm_5m8XMVLUdtJcuxDsdiakpkhLBMqd2VGoo/s1600/cage_good_dad.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="171" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgviLd0pv9PpO3McOl2O878qgr8fUzbtvdTswS1vClik-iYyG1ItHorVGClPo9jrlBJbaDc06gvN4DUF9pTNzH9nYCDoHwr1XgjBKKDxh7lm_5m8XMVLUdtJcuxDsdiakpkhLBMqd2VGoo/s400/cage_good_dad.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Real life Nicolas Cage is the best father.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In conclusion, this animated film was cute enough and fun enough, and Nicolas Cage delivered an excellent voice over performance. The writing left something to be desired. They missed a big opportunity to explain death and the 5 stages of grief to the 4 year olds in the audience. Instead the lesson is, don't worry about death, your dad will rebuild you as a robot with rocket boots.</span><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Movie quotability:</span></b><br />
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<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"It's called adaptive technology: it can absorb and control anything."</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"It's going to make him perfect, PERFECT!"</span></li>
<li><b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"I like his boots" -Henry</span></b></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"I'm Mike the fridge. I'm the...fridge"</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"It's official. Henry loves Nicolas Cage movies." -James</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Zog's awesome. I want a Zog!" -Skyler</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px; text-align: start;">What? I got machine guns... in my butt?" </span></span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: start;">"If you want the core, you're going to have to kill me."</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: start;">"He has to put it deep within the boy's Ass...tro." -James</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: start;">"IT'S NOT TIME FOR CHANGE" -President Stone's campaign banner</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: start;">"We're trying to live more naturally. You know, like real birds." -Robot spray and squeegee</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: start;">"A squeezee bottle's gotta do what a squeezee bottle's gotta do."</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 18px; text-align: start;">"Love will be able to charge his battery!" -Skyler</span></li>
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<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">Plot Holes:</b><br />
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<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A "small fragment of a star" was collected. False. The whole planet is a "small fragment of a star." Stars are just atoms.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Robot scientist uploads Toby's' memories into a robot Toby. How? From the one hair that he found?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">4th dimensional calculus is just called "calculus"</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Astro Boy flies through the earth and solid rock but he doesn't melt from friction.</span></li>
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CAGEamatic</div>
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Cinematic</div>
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<tr><th>Skyler</th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Poor</b></div>
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<b>Exceeds Expectations</b></div>
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<tr><th>Shauna</th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7w1vl4Nam-zrqCn1rTS_A2-KC9Ni0WbsEYHgPPZ3ZI2eImHzCtk4fnVmP3ULBtZ9QzNUDEdDgxolT5tacQBeigs6AbkOuoIDvAgVZhr6WDZlq45clYQ_oSxzjYsOMrbIu2W6uv6HBtyE/s1600/Thumbs-down-icon.png" /></div>
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<tr><th>James</th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>2.00/5</b></div>
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<b>3.33/5</b></div>
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<tr><th>Martine</th><td colspan="2"><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>!Stayed in the Cage!</b></div>
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Skyler Weaverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13516715611434524812noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5486647021928910059.post-53742603315298463422013-01-21T22:00:00.000-08:002013-01-28T09:14:57.674-08:00#52 Fire Birds<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">#52 Fire Birds</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Year:</b> 1990</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Director:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b>David Green</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>MPAA Rating:</b> PG-13</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Epic Co-stars:</b> Tommy Lee Jones, </span></div>
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Running Time:</b> 85 mins</span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Time:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> 100%</b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Kills/Deaths:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b>0</span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Flip-outs:</b> 3</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>James'</b></span><span style="font-size: large; font-weight: bold;"> Review:</span><b style="font-size: 100%;"> </b><span style="font-size: 100%;">Let's just clear up a few things before we get started here. Nic Cage is a much better actor than Tom </span>Cruise, Tommy Lee Jones is a much better actor than James Tolkan, and tricked out helicopters (if presented properly) can be just as cool as fighter jets. Despite all these facts, Fire Birds is a much worse movie than Top Gun. Maybe it's the fact that all my memories of Top Gun were formed before I was ten years of age, or that Nic Cage could only really be taken seriously in about 1/3 of the scenes in which he appeared in this movie, or possibly that Nic Cage (the anit-Tom Cruise) didn't ride a totally tricked out crotch rocket. We may never know. All we do know is that Fire Birds was released four years after Top Gun (giving every person on earth a chance to see it and love it) and that it desperately wanted to be Top Gun (made clear by an almost exact copy of the story line) and that it did not have any scenes with Val Kilmer (probably the only thing I would still like about Top Gun if I were to see it now).</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The best of the best. Helicopter Pilot. Actor. Human. Whatever.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 100%;">Jake Preston (Cage) is a hot young stud and rising star in the US Apache Combat training program. He is the best of the best and he knows it. The school has recently been chartered by the US Government to train their </span>pilots<span style="font-size: 100%;"> for combat against South American drug cartels who will be flying <i>a</i> smaller, more nimble, Scorpion attack helicopter. That's right, drug cartels in a different hemisphere have a single helicopter and a crack pilot that will single-</span>handedly wage war on the US military. <span style="font-size: 100%;"> Preston has finally met his match. But before he can solve America's drug problems, he's got some authority to </span>challenge<span style="font-size: 100%;"> and some ass to chase at home...</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 100%;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><u><a href="http://youtu.be/4f2teI8-lTg" target="_blank">Siskel and Ebert have already said everything there is to say</a></u> (and in a vastly superior fashion) about the film itself so I'll try to say a few things they haven't. First off, all of the acting in this movie is terrible. Cage actually pulls this "terrible acting" off due to his irreverence and on-screen charm, while everyone else just ends up looking like a typical asshole failing at a never ending game of Charades. Both his irreverence and charm are perfectly summed up in an excellent scene <u><a href="http://youtu.be/2FyuHA_zAOM?t=1m29s" target="_blank">where he takes to the flight simulator for some realistic (ie. mid level PlayStation 1 graphics) action against the best AI 1990 has to offer</a><span id="goog_786733132"></span><span id="goog_786733133"></span><a href="http://www.blogger.com/"></a></u>. But Seriously. Fire Birds deserves some respect for drawing attention to a problem so often overlooked by the US public today: Eye Dominance. People suffering from this condition often have to spend several minutes behind the wheel of a jeep equipped with a home made para scope to be cured forever.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5komZoItPyqDcG-FKN6npmEz2SukZpB6elQOVFPd9I7MiQj_ffm2MY8BkYMJn3e3tjj9nMOmep0K4VhVYT4_jRvrNLmQD-_pfBQZt9Tdf3IPZR4DbSQEWmp4OoTi7t0lBGir0hB_Ltlo/s1600/Eyedominence.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="215" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5komZoItPyqDcG-FKN6npmEz2SukZpB6elQOVFPd9I7MiQj_ffm2MY8BkYMJn3e3tjj9nMOmep0K4VhVYT4_jRvrNLmQD-_pfBQZt9Tdf3IPZR4DbSQEWmp4OoTi7t0lBGir0hB_Ltlo/s400/Eyedominence.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Eye dominance: An ailment that effects one out of every one person in this country today. </td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I've presented here only a few of the reasons why every person on earth should eventually see this movie. While each individual part may be either laughable, stupid, embarrassing or really stupid, they all sum together to provide an experience that is but a fond memory in 2013. Fire Birds shows us a time when multiple A-list actors could be in a totally stupid movie and it didn't even matter or effect their careers. A time when someone would actually put up millions of dollars because "theoretically Top Gun with helicopters and Nic Cage should be amazing." A time when a quote from anyone with the name George Bush at the beginning of a movie would be somewhat respectable. And most importantly, a time that the whole world was stupid and nothing didn't not not matter at all. Nothing mattered at all because bad guys were exploding and Nic Cage was securing a nice piece of ass in the end. And I think we all know deep down, that is all that really matters.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidM1xHbEfkhLldTj753MuYnEVEJ1afKMh-xogBE5ydS1j_G0mheMd5eDnOK7umXhWMQfSqiOHBs-_gWUE8u5_Ai1KlEjzPiyMP3IGbjIQPh3C9PQozZiCWAxlRqMpwyx9hD83LuAsLG9A/s1600/nic-cage-everything.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="256" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidM1xHbEfkhLldTj753MuYnEVEJ1afKMh-xogBE5ydS1j_G0mheMd5eDnOK7umXhWMQfSqiOHBs-_gWUE8u5_Ai1KlEjzPiyMP3IGbjIQPh3C9PQozZiCWAxlRqMpwyx9hD83LuAsLG9A/s400/nic-cage-everything.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A time. The time. The only time. Transcending Time.</td></tr>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Movie quotability:</span></b></div>
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<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Sir, that was totally cool!"</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Good, because I have a pocket full of quarters."</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"I AM THE GREATEST"</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Shoot 'em, blast 'em, nab 'em, grab 'em, shake 'em, bake 'em, cook 'em, clean 'em, hold 'em, broil 'em, kick 'em, nab 'em, twist 'em, ALL GONE BYE BYE!!!!"</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"I'd say that I'm doing piss-perfect"</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Why'd you change?" "Less to take off." "Lets skip dinner."</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"You're not touching her you filthy piece of shit."</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Snort that sucker." (Kills cocaine jet with shoulder fired rocket.)</span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<b style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Plot Holes:</span></b><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Drug cartels like fighting the US military via a single helicopter.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The drug cartel seems to have one helicopter and one helicopter pilot.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Their helicopter pilot was trained in North Korea.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">People in 1990 thought that "Billie" looked good in that loose sports bra.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Tommy Lee Jones it taller than the top shelf in the supermarket.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Old couple has 3 toddler aged kids and no toys in their house.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Arizona and "South America" look exactly the same.</span></li>
</ul>
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CAGEamatic</div>
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Cinamatic</div>
</th></tr>
<tr><th>Skyler</th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Outstanding</b></div>
</td><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Poor</b></div>
</td></tr>
<tr><th>Shauna</th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK813WdzqXnhndH7FRTzR8T9RSo0Ttg9D3jaU-lDS8pXZSy88X4FtTLe2kOLqeulvav90q8DMUqv1e8QT2s1vbZniYs9RuVNEBjm4QEnA0Ahl3SJV4MVCmEX2mu58pm_ROK6XUh9l_KCA/s1600/Thumbs-up-icon.png" /></div>
</td><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7w1vl4Nam-zrqCn1rTS_A2-KC9Ni0WbsEYHgPPZ3ZI2eImHzCtk4fnVmP3ULBtZ9QzNUDEdDgxolT5tacQBeigs6AbkOuoIDvAgVZhr6WDZlq45clYQ_oSxzjYsOMrbIu2W6uv6HBtyE/s1600/Thumbs-down-icon.png" /></div>
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<tr><th>James</th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>3.19/5</b></div>
</td><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>1.80/5</b></div>
</td></tr>
<tr><th>Martine</th><td colspan="2"><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>!Read, wrote, and watched in the Cage!</b></div>
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James Ayershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11560479592464116645noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5486647021928910059.post-39915875280079725642013-01-17T11:55:00.000-08:002013-01-18T09:47:38.511-08:00#51 The Ant Bully<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">#51 The Ant Bully</span></b></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Year:</b> 2006</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;">Director: </span></b><span style="font-size: large;">John A. Davis</span></span><br />
<div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>MPAA Ra</b><b>ting:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b>PG</span></div>
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<div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Epic Co-stars:</b> Bruce Campbell, Paul Giamatti</span></div>
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Running Time:</b> 88 minutes</span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Time:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b>30%</span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Kills:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b>0</span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Flip-outs:</b> 1</span></span><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Skyler'</b><b>s Review: </b></span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In the Ant Bully, Nic Cage plays a sarcastic ant sorcerer named Zoc. That is trying desperately to brew a potion of <a href="http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/reducePerson.htm">Reduce Person</a>. You see, there is a kid out there that likes to mess with the ants' nice little civilization, usually in the form of squirt gun. The ants call the kid, "Peanut the Destroyer." Zoc wants to give the potion to the kid so that he will be easy to kill.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_8bs2_sofZ6aIgOPRGQlXi5V_3cloclaSUXoha9_J2ac_OUeCRcsCqEv1kC9AJt_E0LXv078fGJ_zw5hcog7W0DDhjjjK7MT6L60PeY0rSw608AYToJ0ehDCHYrN7B6B5SFbIxQzXcWw/s1600/ant-bully-stills13.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="285" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_8bs2_sofZ6aIgOPRGQlXi5V_3cloclaSUXoha9_J2ac_OUeCRcsCqEv1kC9AJt_E0LXv078fGJ_zw5hcog7W0DDhjjjK7MT6L60PeY0rSw608AYToJ0ehDCHYrN7B6B5SFbIxQzXcWw/s400/ant-bully-stills13.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Zoc, a wizard ant who wishes to use his magic to go the greater good for the colony.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The Julia Roberts ant says "No! We can rehabilitate!" They let Peanut try to join the community, but his attitude is terrible. Not surprisingly, the kid learns the way of the ants and they grow to respect each other. Danger happens, then they overcome it together. In the end, Zoc makes an <a href="http://www.d20srd.org/srd/spells/enlargePerson.htm">Enlarge Person</a> potion to return Peanut to his family with a new found respect for insects.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2716sat_rPbkBR8fIPZJ_RjslnVek29y5lCTd_HtjUSterDd1Vx7iaeNJmx4ebShaqFH_TzKYuWmjKPreViUe3rG2RAnMJ4Ie2I53m03s1gI7pCkkluOTRi8E4Mm9OLst-1gBACueaSE/s1600/cage_wizards.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="126" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2716sat_rPbkBR8fIPZJ_RjslnVek29y5lCTd_HtjUSterDd1Vx7iaeNJmx4ebShaqFH_TzKYuWmjKPreViUe3rG2RAnMJ4Ie2I53m03s1gI7pCkkluOTRi8E4Mm9OLst-1gBACueaSE/s400/cage_wizards.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Nicolas Cage has been known to play a wizard role</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The plot is so trivial, that we had guessed the plot completely before the title credits were through. Also, the humans in this movie were super <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uncanny_valley">uncanny</a>. All in all, the movie made us laugh in parts, and Nicolas Cage as a wizard ant shows that his talent knows no bounds.</span><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Movie quotability:</span></b></div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Away, monster, or I will use my powers to destroy you... powers that I have yet to perfect."</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"It's Peanut, the Destroyer!"</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"No, wait! We are not mindless savages! We should study the human... and then eat him!"</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Nic: "Curse you, rock! A curse upon your children!" JR: "I don't think rocks have children." Nic: "Well, they won't NOW." </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Oh, something HAHAHA, I was worried it was NOTHING!"</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Will you quit eating, fatso?! It's crowded in here! We need more room!"</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Zok! How did you get in here?" "Well, I sure didn't get in through the REAR entrance."</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Uh, definitely NOT, thank you." (you have to imagine Nic Cage saying that)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Calling a human a friend... I always thought that was impossible until I met you."</span></li>
</ul>
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<b style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Plot Holes:</span></b><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Most of this movie was iron clad, but at the end they really blow it. Why go to all the trouble of shrinking the exterminator when they could just un-shrink the kid?</span></li>
</ul>
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CAGEamatic</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNblWN4I4w821_P8qXPhW4LNqDm25qdmi4u-UhKXenpk2uMt3_PZaWaTQBjAgI9KNUJWePdX17bofjIb27OZOm_RqmbhZws1sm57AS1pLvJSaXxabO1xSTZSHB33lk8TPCd6B1HlyDCdQ/s1600/cageOscar_cropped.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="80" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNblWN4I4w821_P8qXPhW4LNqDm25qdmi4u-UhKXenpk2uMt3_PZaWaTQBjAgI9KNUJWePdX17bofjIb27OZOm_RqmbhZws1sm57AS1pLvJSaXxabO1xSTZSHB33lk8TPCd6B1HlyDCdQ/s200/cageOscar_cropped.jpg" /></a></div>
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Cinematic</div>
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<tr><th>Skyler</th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Exceeds Expectations</b></div>
</td><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Acceptable</b></div>
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<tr><th>Shauna</th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK813WdzqXnhndH7FRTzR8T9RSo0Ttg9D3jaU-lDS8pXZSy88X4FtTLe2kOLqeulvav90q8DMUqv1e8QT2s1vbZniYs9RuVNEBjm4QEnA0Ahl3SJV4MVCmEX2mu58pm_ROK6XUh9l_KCA/s1600/Thumbs-up-icon.png" /></div>
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<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7w1vl4Nam-zrqCn1rTS_A2-KC9Ni0WbsEYHgPPZ3ZI2eImHzCtk4fnVmP3ULBtZ9QzNUDEdDgxolT5tacQBeigs6AbkOuoIDvAgVZhr6WDZlq45clYQ_oSxzjYsOMrbIu2W6uv6HBtyE/s1600/Thumbs-down-icon.png" /></div>
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<tr><th>James</th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>3.02/5</b></div>
</td><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>2.50/5</b></div>
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<tr><th>Martine</th><td colspan="2"><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>!Stayed in the Cage!</b></div>
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Skyler Weaverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13516715611434524812noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5486647021928910059.post-87928198619014383832013-01-15T20:07:00.000-08:002013-01-17T12:35:07.759-08:00#50 Stolen<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/e/eb/Stolen_film_poster.jpg/220px-Stolen_film_poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/e/eb/Stolen_film_poster.jpg/220px-Stolen_film_poster.jpg" width="216" /></a></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">#50 Stolen</span></b></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Year:</b> 2012</span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Director:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b>Simon West</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>MPAA Ra</b><b>ting: R</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Epic Co-stars:</b> None.</span></div>
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Running Time:</b> 93 minutes</span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Time:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b>90%</span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Kills:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> 0</b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Flip-outs:</b> 2</span></span><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>James'</b><b> Review:</b></span><b style="font-size: 100%;"> </b><span style="font-size: 100%;">Let's just think for a moment about the one film in the last decade that you wished Nic Cage would have been in but wasn't. Easy answer: Taken. Sure Liam Neeson is a total badass, but we all know Nicolas Cage would have an even more particular set of skills and would have found him and killed him just a bit sooner and more fantastically. This is exactly what I was hoping this movie was, what it should be, but (very) </span>unfortunately is not. <span style="font-size: 100%;"> </span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhraPpyxlMzfb8dz7_Ker37qldJlLakrQtm_HAj6Ot9oZ5WEJ4GmdHuU03n3JwRrxEhG2fdOD3Of5dOIuBa3W8t6OIuMJ29X1Fd2lFmLQ_aDZCsu5i8ZeiOycgIPba47bu-jwUkVz5wyHM/s1600/CageBunny.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="165" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhraPpyxlMzfb8dz7_Ker37qldJlLakrQtm_HAj6Ot9oZ5WEJ4GmdHuU03n3JwRrxEhG2fdOD3Of5dOIuBa3W8t6OIuMJ29X1Fd2lFmLQ_aDZCsu5i8ZeiOycgIPba47bu-jwUkVz5wyHM/s400/CageBunny.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Stolen was directed Simon West, who also directed Con Air. Do you see the resemblance?</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: 100%;">Cage is Will Montgomery, a master safe picker. He is a career criminal in a gang of three that specializes in high value, high tech, and high profile bank robberies. Montgomery needs to pull off one last heist to to build his nest egg to the point where he can retire and finally be the father that his seven year old daughter deserves. What could go wrong? Well actually, plenty of stuff and (spoiler alert) it does. The </span>aftermath involves Cage going to jail for just under a dime, the cute girl getting off scott free, and the ugly crazy guy (</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">Josh Lucas</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">) spiraling down and eventually getting killed<span style="font-size: 100%;"> in a fire. Or did he.... (spoiler alert) No, actually he didn't. He faked his death and is </span>totally<span style="font-size: 100%;"> pissed at Cage. He wants his cut of the money from the heist and will take Cage's daughter and eventually kill her if he doesn't get it. She is STOLEN!!!</span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEHXpdOppgZG31_r0ysoGvczWBLt3cSd-PHdk87aqrjecEkxJwc-HsMiLmG0aAN0TK7EI4BNFoOvSPDJ4IMdxdH22Qz8atUfYwAAszW0NrTePOS_mrgg-CUoy_13CxJ5eAhv03GRalTdQ/s1600/CagePavement.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEHXpdOppgZG31_r0ysoGvczWBLt3cSd-PHdk87aqrjecEkxJwc-HsMiLmG0aAN0TK7EI4BNFoOvSPDJ4IMdxdH22Qz8atUfYwAAszW0NrTePOS_mrgg-CUoy_13CxJ5eAhv03GRalTdQ/s400/CagePavement.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Nic Cage plays a homeless man that sleeps on the street. The sidewalk is his pillow...</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Nic Cage has only one option: reunite with the Hot Chick and rob another bank to get enough ransom money. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 100%;">The rest of the movie from here is the creepy ugly guy driving around talking on his cellphone, Cage's daughter spending a lot of time in a trunk, and Nic Cage being much less badass than Liam Neeson was until the end of course. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
<del>Best.</del> Most Mediocre. Movie. Ever.</span><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Movie quotability:</span></b><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Oh my god. You shot me."</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"I left the money. I have to get the money."</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"I'm not the squirrel playing with his nuts here."</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you."</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Who dat?"</span></li>
</ul>
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<b style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Plot Holes:</span></b><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Nicolas Cage is way too tech savvy to have been in lockup for 8 years.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Nicolas Cage walks away from a ridiculous car wreck that kills 2 FBI agents and runs away.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Nicolas Cage is only knee deep in water, yet we see the taxi sink hundreds of feet.</span></li>
</ul>
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CAGEamatic</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNblWN4I4w821_P8qXPhW4LNqDm25qdmi4u-UhKXenpk2uMt3_PZaWaTQBjAgI9KNUJWePdX17bofjIb27OZOm_RqmbhZws1sm57AS1pLvJSaXxabO1xSTZSHB33lk8TPCd6B1HlyDCdQ/s1600/cageOscar_cropped.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="80" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNblWN4I4w821_P8qXPhW4LNqDm25qdmi4u-UhKXenpk2uMt3_PZaWaTQBjAgI9KNUJWePdX17bofjIb27OZOm_RqmbhZws1sm57AS1pLvJSaXxabO1xSTZSHB33lk8TPCd6B1HlyDCdQ/s200/cageOscar_cropped.jpg" /></a></div>
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Cinamatic</div>
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<tr><th>Skyler</th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Acceptable</b></div>
</td><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Poor</b></div>
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<tr><th>Shauna</th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7w1vl4Nam-zrqCn1rTS_A2-KC9Ni0WbsEYHgPPZ3ZI2eImHzCtk4fnVmP3ULBtZ9QzNUDEdDgxolT5tacQBeigs6AbkOuoIDvAgVZhr6WDZlq45clYQ_oSxzjYsOMrbIu2W6uv6HBtyE/s1600/Thumbs-down-icon.png" style="font-size: 100%;" /></div>
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<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7w1vl4Nam-zrqCn1rTS_A2-KC9Ni0WbsEYHgPPZ3ZI2eImHzCtk4fnVmP3ULBtZ9QzNUDEdDgxolT5tacQBeigs6AbkOuoIDvAgVZhr6WDZlq45clYQ_oSxzjYsOMrbIu2W6uv6HBtyE/s1600/Thumbs-down-icon.png" style="font-size: 100%;" /></div>
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<tr><th>James</th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>3.09/5.00</b></div>
</td><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>1.59/5.00</b></div>
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<tr><th>Martine</th><td colspan="2"><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>!Pissed that 90 minutes of her life was STOLEN in the CAGE!</b></div>
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Skyler Weaverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13516715611434524812noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5486647021928910059.post-21768619588457811382013-01-11T12:17:00.000-08:002013-01-13T09:15:21.490-08:00#49 Christmas Carol: The Movie<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/c/c2/Christmas_Carol_%282001%29_poster.jpg/220px-Christmas_Carol_%282001%29_poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/c/c2/Christmas_Carol_%282001%29_poster.jpg/220px-Christmas_Carol_%282001%29_poster.jpg" width="216" /></a></div>
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<b style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">#49 </span></b><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: x-large;"><b>Christmas Carol: The Movie</b></span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Year:</b> 2001</span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Director: </b>Jimmy T. Murakami</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>MPAA Ra</b><b>ting:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b>PG</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Epic Co-stars:</b> Kate Winslet</span></div>
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Running Time:</b> 77 mins</span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Time:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> 4%</b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Kills:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> 0</b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Flip-outs:</b> 0</span></span><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Skyler's Review: </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Someone spent $10 million on this animated movie. It must be some sort of money laundering thing because it is terrible. The movie starts off and you think to yourself, "This is one of those animated movies from the 80s". The animation is surely pre-Beauty and the Beast. I mean, look at it. The frame rate is low, the animation is <i>drawn</i>, not rendered.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiU6mMOQ6mpVYIy-E3FBT-U5qZ9TYitVApJcTTLkBDlbJUN-rVc_MHNSc5b0vSohctYrQir0_5stVj2tkzmDYtUZ_8pdOy8Jm9QhD-_TVVHu7HTbG4P7SbZgNxx7K1ekr6pAUgcKQoUbWA/s1600/christmascarol1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="215" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiU6mMOQ6mpVYIy-E3FBT-U5qZ9TYitVApJcTTLkBDlbJUN-rVc_MHNSc5b0vSohctYrQir0_5stVj2tkzmDYtUZ_8pdOy8Jm9QhD-_TVVHu7HTbG4P7SbZgNxx7K1ekr6pAUgcKQoUbWA/s400/christmascarol1.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is one frame of Nicolas Cage as a ghost. You've almost seen the whole scene now.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Then you look to see the year that this movie came out and see "2001". What! Then you start to think, "Was animation still that bad in 2001?" No. Other movies that came out that year: Shrek, Monsters Inc., Harry Potter 1, and Lord of the Rings 1.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Why was this movie made? It's not as good as Muppet Christmas Carol, to be sure. Did this movie come before the Muppets? No, the Muppets actually preceded this disaster by 9 years.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The movie isn't even a "as true to the story as possible" thing. There are mice EVERYWHERE. Are they all going to die of the plague? I don't remember this in the book. In fact, the story is barely recognizable at all. Except for that guy named "Scrooge" and the title of the movie.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Nicolas Cage is excellent as always.</span><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Movie quotability:</span></b><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Ooooohhhhh [loud chain sounds]."</span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;">Plot Holes:</b></span><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The fact that this movie was even made. Do we really need yet another animated rendition of this movie? Never mind one that is presented in such a lame, cliched style?</span></li>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
CAGEamatic</div>
</th><th><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNblWN4I4w821_P8qXPhW4LNqDm25qdmi4u-UhKXenpk2uMt3_PZaWaTQBjAgI9KNUJWePdX17bofjIb27OZOm_RqmbhZws1sm57AS1pLvJSaXxabO1xSTZSHB33lk8TPCd6B1HlyDCdQ/s1600/cageOscar_cropped.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="80" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNblWN4I4w821_P8qXPhW4LNqDm25qdmi4u-UhKXenpk2uMt3_PZaWaTQBjAgI9KNUJWePdX17bofjIb27OZOm_RqmbhZws1sm57AS1pLvJSaXxabO1xSTZSHB33lk8TPCd6B1HlyDCdQ/s200/cageOscar_cropped.jpg" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Cinematic</div>
</th></tr>
<tr><th>Skyler</th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Dreadful</b></div>
</td><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Troll</b></div>
</td></tr>
<tr><th>Shauna</th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7w1vl4Nam-zrqCn1rTS_A2-KC9Ni0WbsEYHgPPZ3ZI2eImHzCtk4fnVmP3ULBtZ9QzNUDEdDgxolT5tacQBeigs6AbkOuoIDvAgVZhr6WDZlq45clYQ_oSxzjYsOMrbIu2W6uv6HBtyE/s1600/Thumbs-down-icon.png" /></div>
</td><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7w1vl4Nam-zrqCn1rTS_A2-KC9Ni0WbsEYHgPPZ3ZI2eImHzCtk4fnVmP3ULBtZ9QzNUDEdDgxolT5tacQBeigs6AbkOuoIDvAgVZhr6WDZlq45clYQ_oSxzjYsOMrbIu2W6uv6HBtyE/s1600/Thumbs-down-icon.png" /></div>
</td></tr>
<tr><th>James</th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>0.15/5</b></div>
</td><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>0.04/5</b></div>
</td></tr>
<tr><th>Martine</th><td colspan="2"><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>!Bonded with Shauna in the Cage!</b></div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Skyler Weaverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13516715611434524812noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5486647021928910059.post-21141633536830654242013-01-08T12:39:00.000-08:002013-01-08T15:25:53.838-08:00#48 Leaving Las Vegas<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;">
<b><span style="font-size: x-large;">#48 Leaving Las Vegas</span></b><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
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<div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Year:</b> 1995</span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Director:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b>Mike Figgis</span><br />
<div style="font-weight: normal;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>MPAA Ra</b><b>ting:</b><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQZR_Ec2__PmfX00-UnvJU29CDS9S1wGVgMhIyUPCM2aStX3hkHo_1R2F_rICglWdIXMKEPV1WL-ftHTkL9bpk8F7_erBOPLk3fzjx4BaePzC8mW3DN1M03RoTfHkGG3niqyTw2xgbZro/s1600/40px-RATED_R.svg.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="15" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQZR_Ec2__PmfX00-UnvJU29CDS9S1wGVgMhIyUPCM2aStX3hkHo_1R2F_rICglWdIXMKEPV1WL-ftHTkL9bpk8F7_erBOPLk3fzjx4BaePzC8mW3DN1M03RoTfHkGG3niqyTw2xgbZro/s1600/40px-RATED_R.svg.png" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">Epic Co-stars:</b> Elisabeth Shue, Julian Sands, Richard Lewis, French Stewart, Roseanne's Sister, Detective Benson</span></div>
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Running Time:</b> 111 mins</span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Time:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> 85</b>%</span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Kills:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b>0</span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Flip-outs:</b> 1</span></span><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-size: large;">James/Skyler's Review:</span> </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ben Sanderson (Nicolas Cage) sums up his situation pretty well when he says (to a prostitute who is robbing him) "Did my wife leave me because I started drinking or did I start drinking because my wife left me". He's a severe alcoholic who has just lost his wife, his job, and any control over his life. So he decides to do what any sensible person in this situation would do; move back to Las Vegas and drink himself to death. </span><br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3CI7Fxsv8aidEZruRLacgoQGbnGqvEa3Gn9xUz5jyAH7roorWl7H8tHxQPNSYBodTFURuqqQcBv6SWG33sOKZXRSkPLC2pgq52619hoAZ-KFwaZpdugoeCOWqinQTFO6mJPk4GlEbg5Q/s1600/tumblr_lk0dceDJCy1qa39fro1_500.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3CI7Fxsv8aidEZruRLacgoQGbnGqvEa3Gn9xUz5jyAH7roorWl7H8tHxQPNSYBodTFURuqqQcBv6SWG33sOKZXRSkPLC2pgq52619hoAZ-KFwaZpdugoeCOWqinQTFO6mJPk4GlEbg5Q/s400/tumblr_lk0dceDJCy1qa39fro1_500.gif" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Kid in a candy store" dance. He got an Oscar for this.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shortly after getting to town he meets Sera (Elisabeth Shue), a self proclaimed excellent prostitute who's recently found herself pimp-less with nothing to do. Things progress. They move in together. Ben drinks. Sera follows. Things will merrily go on like this forever as long as one thing never happens; That Sera never asks Ben to quit drinking. I wonder what'll happen...</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0jNJEUpf4zm01Tl0cN_L2XDVrJTqJDZ_JhyphenhyphenAybEeGlEfSO4ljThRyU2VNWIOrY8GojxH7Q7goOBGPbaW_PhGlc-LiHGbhhUxyJLyq0ALkHmtXutTeu3d3JrekNtvmHLAc97Dh-0ekIBg/s1600/leaving_las_vegas.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="192" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0jNJEUpf4zm01Tl0cN_L2XDVrJTqJDZ_JhyphenhyphenAybEeGlEfSO4ljThRyU2VNWIOrY8GojxH7Q7goOBGPbaW_PhGlc-LiHGbhhUxyJLyq0ALkHmtXutTeu3d3JrekNtvmHLAc97Dh-0ekIBg/s400/leaving_las_vegas.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">If you are going to let your life go down the tubes, you might as well have pretty lady by your side.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This movie is made up of incredibly heavy subject matter and at times is hard to watch for even the most tasteless and crass viewers. The hero and heroine manage to find some of the darkest corners of human existence and often bring you there with them.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This is some deep stuff. Alcoholism is usually depicted in a glamorous or funny way in Hollywood. The reality of it, is that it is hard to watch, and Dr. Cage makes it so. You can see why he got an Oscar for his work here. By the way, Nicolas Cage beat out Sean Penn that year for Best Actor. Take that, Sean Penn. You suck.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiuYKARKJwdnXfP42fZZBTqFPD6PLmISjqTrW_kP0r78BXVRLRMwfu9eoY6U66PNpecj-pgniVhsT3tikkBSS-xRrRk2uX0d2XSLAIKYf2j1p-26DqbnEIVmeTx-oxIylLICksL8hc-5U/s1600/tumblr_m5iw1w4zJT1r5jraio1_500.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="197" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiuYKARKJwdnXfP42fZZBTqFPD6PLmISjqTrW_kP0r78BXVRLRMwfu9eoY6U66PNpecj-pgniVhsT3tikkBSS-xRrRk2uX0d2XSLAIKYf2j1p-26DqbnEIVmeTx-oxIylLICksL8hc-5U/s400/tumblr_m5iw1w4zJT1r5jraio1_500.gif" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ben behaves as if he wants to get busted to same him from his fate.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Overall, this is definitely one worth watching. Cage's performance is brilliant. He makes an alcoholic seem charming, and at the identical moment, pathetic. His co-actress makes prostitution seem like a legitimate career, if it weren't for some of the clientele, which makes it a hard, sad life. As this film is pure art, and serious art at that, I will finish this review with a poem:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Leaving Las Vegas</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>by A Year in the Cage</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The oldest vice meets the oldest profession,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Racing toward death, the oldest depression.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Are these choices for life viable?</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In society are these roles justifiable?</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">They are for a spell, but they end all in hell.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<div>
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Movie quotability:</span></b><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px; text-align: start;">Maybe I shouldn't breathe so much Terri. HIHI! </span>"</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Did my wife leave me because I started drinking or did I start drinking because my wife left me"</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Somebody fix the phones around here."</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"I'm wondering if you'll take two-hundred dollars to uuummm... Fuck Me."</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Yeah, she definitely has daddy issues" - Skyler</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Oh yes, I guess sooner or later we better fuck."</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Giving you money makes me want to come."</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Is drinking a way of killing yourself?" "Or is killing myself a way of drinking?"</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"I'm like a prickly pear. A prickly pear."</span></li>
</ul>
</div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;">Plot Holes:</b></span><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A hooker who gets cut on the butt for punishment has no scars on her butt.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Self proclaimed amazing hooker falls in love with a drunk guy after spending about 10 minutes talking to him.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Hooker has a nice conservative dress to wear in the event that her pimp is murdered.</span></li>
</ul>
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CAGEamatic</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNblWN4I4w821_P8qXPhW4LNqDm25qdmi4u-UhKXenpk2uMt3_PZaWaTQBjAgI9KNUJWePdX17bofjIb27OZOm_RqmbhZws1sm57AS1pLvJSaXxabO1xSTZSHB33lk8TPCd6B1HlyDCdQ/s1600/cageOscar_cropped.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="80" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNblWN4I4w821_P8qXPhW4LNqDm25qdmi4u-UhKXenpk2uMt3_PZaWaTQBjAgI9KNUJWePdX17bofjIb27OZOm_RqmbhZws1sm57AS1pLvJSaXxabO1xSTZSHB33lk8TPCd6B1HlyDCdQ/s200/cageOscar_cropped.jpg" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Cinamatic</div>
</th></tr>
<tr><th>Skyler</th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Exceeds Expectations</b></div>
</td><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Exceeds Expectations</b></div>
</td></tr>
<tr><th>Shauna</th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK813WdzqXnhndH7FRTzR8T9RSo0Ttg9D3jaU-lDS8pXZSy88X4FtTLe2kOLqeulvav90q8DMUqv1e8QT2s1vbZniYs9RuVNEBjm4QEnA0Ahl3SJV4MVCmEX2mu58pm_ROK6XUh9l_KCA/s1600/Thumbs-up-icon.png" /></div>
</td><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7w1vl4Nam-zrqCn1rTS_A2-KC9Ni0WbsEYHgPPZ3ZI2eImHzCtk4fnVmP3ULBtZ9QzNUDEdDgxolT5tacQBeigs6AbkOuoIDvAgVZhr6WDZlq45clYQ_oSxzjYsOMrbIu2W6uv6HBtyE/s1600/Thumbs-down-icon.png" /></div>
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<tr><th>James</th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>4.39/5</b></div>
</td><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>4.12/5</b></div>
</td></tr>
<tr><th>Martine</th><td colspan="2"><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>!Ironed in the CAGE!</b></div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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James Ayershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11560479592464116645noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5486647021928910059.post-36287806845220427262013-01-04T12:18:00.000-08:002013-01-04T13:21:09.140-08:00#47 The Family Man<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/e/e8/Family_man_movie.jpg/220px-Family_man_movie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/e/e8/Family_man_movie.jpg/220px-Family_man_movie.jpg" width="216" /></a></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">#47 The Family Man</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Year:</b> 2000</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Director:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b>Brett Ratner</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>MPAA Ra</b><b>ting:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b>PG-13</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Epic Co-stars:</b> Tea Leoni, Don Cheadle, </span><span style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Robert Downey Sr.</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Running Time:</b> 125 mins</span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Time:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> 95%</b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Kills:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b>0</span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Flip-outs:</b> 5</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>James'</b><b> Review:</b></span><b style="font-size: x-large;"> </b>You may be thinking to yourself "Sure, Mr. Cage can nail high flying action, insane criminals, art-house trash, and even a grind house style hero. But can he really play a down to earth guy who you root for because you really like him?" Well wonder no more... The answer is a firm YES. And in true Cage fashion he while also wearing a $1,000 suit and driving a Ferrari. </span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">If Dr. Cage ever decides he's tired of being the wold's #1 actor he can easily switch over to being the world's #1 topless opera singer.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Jack (Nic Cage) is a successful, narcissistic Wall Street broker. He lives in a penthouse apartment in Manhattan, enjoys casual sex with model-esque strangers, and drives an amazing Ferrari (you'll recall his stipulation about driving awesome cars in all of his movies). After working late on Christmas Eve, he intervenes in a convenience store stick-up and finds himself telling Don Cheadle that, although "everybody needs something," he has everything he needs. Turns out Don Cheadle is an angel or something, and he takes this as a challenge to show Jack a glimpse of what he's missing-- namely, an alternate life where he marries his college girlfriend, Kate, and raises kids with her in New Jersey. Finally an answer to the question of what to get the guy who seemingly has everything.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yet another unsuspecting and helpless victim.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The Family Man is an instant Christmas classic. It draws themes from both A Christmas Carol and It's a Wonderful Life (Cage is even a bit Jimmy Stewart-esque at times). All of the classic Christmas fodder is there: Christmas parties, cute kids, a guy who doesn't know what he's missing, a guy who finally figures out what he's missing, and asshole being told off, and more feel good family love than you would care to have crammed into two glorious Cage enriched hours. Really all that is missing is a talking snowman and an elf who desperately wants to become a dentist.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">It's a treat for any small child to get the chance to encounter pure excellence at such an early stage in life.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In all, The Family Man sets the stage for Dr. Cage to once again establish himself as a well rounded actor that can make a strong human connection. It's easy to peg Cage as an over the top action hero who does nothing but kick ass and take names. But when he needs to (and the script calls for it), The Family Man shows that he can easily put on the charm and pull on your heart strings. He reminds us here that although money and prestige are very alluring, they are really just a temporary plug for the void left by the absence of true love from family and friends. This serves as a nice parallel to his acting career; so many high flying roles dazzle us in the moment but ultimately leave us wanting more from the characters he plays. But once in a while when you really need it Cage fills your soul with his all powerful and unbounded love to once again show you what really matters in life.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgM4yLuSW0k0S0A2wnhgFYsqWcAvpWgDmicRhCTIotbBvz9uWV3LVndaaIM8N2Cc-GQ5LddchtMm-F_pQ6jum0AsuLyle3OidpgCUPE2EIF-bsk5MGFoWpaYqajz2-8hPJnxgI32BeHaDw/s1600/familyman.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgM4yLuSW0k0S0A2wnhgFYsqWcAvpWgDmicRhCTIotbBvz9uWV3LVndaaIM8N2Cc-GQ5LddchtMm-F_pQ6jum0AsuLyle3OidpgCUPE2EIF-bsk5MGFoWpaYqajz2-8hPJnxgI32BeHaDw/s400/familyman.jpg" width="290" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This sums up the true divine spirit and nature of Dr. Cage better than any number of words ever could.</td></tr>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Movie quotability:</span></b></div>
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<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"You're a credit to capitalism, Jack."</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Old flames are like old tax returns. Put 'em in the filing cabinet for three years, then cut 'em loose."</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Not cute. Not cute!"</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"You mean because you thought I was cocky, I am now on a PERMANENT! ACID TRIP!?" </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"I'm sorry I was such a saint before, and I'm such a PRICK! NOW!"</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Forget it. We'll get a funnel cake. It'll be the highlight of my week."</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"This is New York, this is like the needy people capital of the world. Your Jersey clients aren't a tenth as needy as the clients you'll have here."</span></li>
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<b style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Plot Holes:</span></b><br />
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<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This is a stupid plot hole, but everyone wants me to point out that someone who was going to have triple bypass surgery the following day would already be in the hospital, not at a party.</span></li>
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CAGEamatic</div>
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Cinematic</div>
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<tr><th>Skyler</th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Exceeds Expectations</b></div>
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<b>Outstanding</b></div>
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<tr><th>Shauna</th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK813WdzqXnhndH7FRTzR8T9RSo0Ttg9D3jaU-lDS8pXZSy88X4FtTLe2kOLqeulvav90q8DMUqv1e8QT2s1vbZniYs9RuVNEBjm4QEnA0Ahl3SJV4MVCmEX2mu58pm_ROK6XUh9l_KCA/s1600/Thumbs-up-icon.png" /></div>
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<tr><th>James</th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>3.37/5</b></div>
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<b>3.37/5</b></div>
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<tr><th>Martine</th><td colspan="2"><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>!Teared up in the Cage!</b></div>
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Skyler Weaverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13516715611434524812noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5486647021928910059.post-6577730952873065882012-12-18T12:26:00.000-08:002012-12-18T22:40:00.142-08:00#46 Zandalee<link href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/0/04/Zandalee.jpg/220px-Zandalee.jpg" rel="image_src"></link>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">#46 Zandalee</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Year:</b> 1991</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Director:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b>Sam Pillsbury</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>MPAA Ra</b><b>ting:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b>NC-17</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Epic Co-stars:</b> Judge Reinhold, Steve Buschemi, Aaron Neville</span></div>
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Running Time:</b> 100 mins</span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Time:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b>80%</span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Kills:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b>0</span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Flip-outs:</b> 3</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Shauna'</b><b>s Review: </b></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Hold on to your butts, boys and girls; this movie is NC-17. Yes, I realize that if you had known Nic Cage was in an NC-17 movie, that would have been on the top of your list from the beginning. About thirty seconds in, we're looking at a very nice-looking naked chick and Judge Reinhold with a mustache. Already Skyler and James are considering this movie for the Best Nic Cage Movie of All Time.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">In a way, this is Cage playing himself. An introspective artist who is such a genius that not even he can understand his infinite wisdom.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Zandalee is a young woman married to Thierry (Reinhold), a poet and professor who quits to run his father's business after his father's death. Consumed with new stresses and responsibilities, Thierry pulls away from Zandalee, emotionally and physically (that means sex). Thierry's childhood friend Johnny (Dr Cage), a painter, enters the picture. Although he has long, greasy hair and weird glasses, he is Nicolas Cage and thus pulsing with raw magnetism, so we can guess what happens next. That's right, sweaty paint sex.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTyoBPPpmhZzTc7I2uxujF4goVccuz_9v-HORri-z6vmgJe2ygLWvBta2C2XYRj1-890JqDPIwHa2Dury9tAgdpsm2vc4Dilf5U64af-bfU_52G3VZBwGkzNA0XC9OKUD7a7if5zcfslE/s1600/CageZandaleeSex2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="250" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTyoBPPpmhZzTc7I2uxujF4goVccuz_9v-HORri-z6vmgJe2ygLWvBta2C2XYRj1-890JqDPIwHa2Dury9tAgdpsm2vc4Dilf5U64af-bfU_52G3VZBwGkzNA0XC9OKUD7a7if5zcfslE/s400/CageZandaleeSex2.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Cage embraces the NC-17 rating of this film and even provokes it with an open display his perfectly chiseled manhood.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Turns out they're not very good at being subtle. Everybody knows about their little "liason," including Thierry's mom, who actually approves because she's been having an affair of her own for some-odd decades. They get a little carried away--doing it on the washing machine while Thierry is in the next room--and Thierry figures it out. Meanwhile things get to start weird with Johnny, like rape-in-a-confessional weird. Things pretty much unravel from there.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOw-DdzQc2EPhGxTfAigMMvyrn7kDXHZmQbCc7tWMALXQp8Y4Xq6rqws3-UW123I2LaBGSpsfkJlQ3fKs6MtRQesDUPqBHBqyqQWxhavr874lHNHm5vCA9D5yyoF6HMS9Qqa2xRmGGJVA/s1600/CagePaint2.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="250" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOw-DdzQc2EPhGxTfAigMMvyrn7kDXHZmQbCc7tWMALXQp8Y4Xq6rqws3-UW123I2LaBGSpsfkJlQ3fKs6MtRQesDUPqBHBqyqQWxhavr874lHNHm5vCA9D5yyoF6HMS9Qqa2xRmGGJVA/s400/CagePaint2.gif" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Best. Freakout. Ever.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Gotta say, this movie is more melodrama than erotic thriller. Feels like a little bit of a cop-out when you just kill people instead of coming up with a better way of resolving their problems. BUT: this movie is ripe for Cage quotes and has a few great Cage moments, including Nic Cage smoking a cigarette in church, and THE. Most amazing Nic Cage freak out. Period. Just fantastic. One other thing: I highly recommend watching this via Netflix-- our disc was a ripped Chinese copy, no joke, and our subtitles were hilariously bad. Really added a new layer to this movie.</span><br />
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<div>
</div>
<div>
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Movie quotability:</span></b></div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Well, this is first-class accommodations."</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"But if I can't paint, everything just turns to shit."</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"I want to shake you naked and eat you alive, Zandalee."</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Why is it that the Baptists have all the women and no booze and the Catholics have all the booze and no women?"</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Without art, without life, you can't climb up the devil's ass and look him in the eye and smile without blinking."</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"You wanna share my peach?"</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Take me. Take my dumb coon-ass prick inside of you with your husband in the next room."</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Uh-oh. I don't like Nicolas Cage the rapist. Everything was going just fine until then." -James</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"You speak it once and it's there. A religious heart-ifact." -Steve Buschemi</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"When I go into the kitchen and make toast, I smell your skin. I can't get you out of me."</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"I like how, even when she's dead, she's still trying to pull her skirt up." -James</span></li>
</ul>
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<b style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Plot Holes:</span></b><br />
<div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguIgBWg6roT2Q-D7aqXGxqlXfe64NFCdwnCpE-XpZ3s1AGjxnaicAnJi2ICOEPVIEdPvQ7EG3njH8Ce7xi9OzIAg5dsqWbOjCK4x2k11_jdQWt8perqbIrWZvCr_gWRD1qj5p0J-f5yDQ/s1600/NCcrazy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="80" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguIgBWg6roT2Q-D7aqXGxqlXfe64NFCdwnCpE-XpZ3s1AGjxnaicAnJi2ICOEPVIEdPvQ7EG3njH8Ce7xi9OzIAg5dsqWbOjCK4x2k11_jdQWt8perqbIrWZvCr_gWRD1qj5p0J-f5yDQ/s1600/NCcrazy.jpg" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
CAGEamatic</div>
</th><th><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNblWN4I4w821_P8qXPhW4LNqDm25qdmi4u-UhKXenpk2uMt3_PZaWaTQBjAgI9KNUJWePdX17bofjIb27OZOm_RqmbhZws1sm57AS1pLvJSaXxabO1xSTZSHB33lk8TPCd6B1HlyDCdQ/s1600/cageOscar_cropped.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="80" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNblWN4I4w821_P8qXPhW4LNqDm25qdmi4u-UhKXenpk2uMt3_PZaWaTQBjAgI9KNUJWePdX17bofjIb27OZOm_RqmbhZws1sm57AS1pLvJSaXxabO1xSTZSHB33lk8TPCd6B1HlyDCdQ/s200/cageOscar_cropped.jpg" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Cinematic</div>
</th></tr>
<tr><th>Skyler</th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Exceeds Expectations</b></div>
</td><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Poor</b></div>
</td></tr>
<tr><th>Shauna</th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK813WdzqXnhndH7FRTzR8T9RSo0Ttg9D3jaU-lDS8pXZSy88X4FtTLe2kOLqeulvav90q8DMUqv1e8QT2s1vbZniYs9RuVNEBjm4QEnA0Ahl3SJV4MVCmEX2mu58pm_ROK6XUh9l_KCA/s1600/Thumbs-up-icon.png" style="font-size: 100%;" /><b> </b></div>
</td><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7w1vl4Nam-zrqCn1rTS_A2-KC9Ni0WbsEYHgPPZ3ZI2eImHzCtk4fnVmP3ULBtZ9QzNUDEdDgxolT5tacQBeigs6AbkOuoIDvAgVZhr6WDZlq45clYQ_oSxzjYsOMrbIu2W6uv6HBtyE/s1600/Thumbs-down-icon.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><b><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7w1vl4Nam-zrqCn1rTS_A2-KC9Ni0WbsEYHgPPZ3ZI2eImHzCtk4fnVmP3ULBtZ9QzNUDEdDgxolT5tacQBeigs6AbkOuoIDvAgVZhr6WDZlq45clYQ_oSxzjYsOMrbIu2W6uv6HBtyE/s1600/Thumbs-down-icon.png" /></b></a></div>
</td></tr>
<tr><th>James</th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>3.21</b></div>
</td><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>2.37</b></div>
</td></tr>
<tr><th>Martine</th><td colspan="2"><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>!Christmas cards in the Cage!</b></div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
</div>
James Ayershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11560479592464116645noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5486647021928910059.post-16765717161706381532012-12-12T12:13:00.000-08:002012-12-12T09:07:38.564-08:00#45 Adaptation.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/5/5e/Adaptation._film.jpg/220px-Adaptation._film.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/5/5e/Adaptation._film.jpg/220px-Adaptation._film.jpg" width="216" /></a></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; text-align: left;">
<b><span style="font-size: x-large;">#45 Adaptation</span></b></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Year:</b> 2002</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Director:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b>Spike Jonze</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>MPAA Ra</b><b>ting:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b>R</span></div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Epic Co-stars:</b> Meryl Streep, Chris Cooper, that guy from Office Space</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Running Time:</b> 114 min</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Time:</b> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Kills: </b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Flip-outs:</b> 1</span></span><br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: large;"><b>Skyler'</b><b>s Review: </b></span><br />
<div>
Charlie Kaufman (Nicolas Cage) is writing a screenplay about the Orchid Thief and wants to stay true to the book and not snesationalize it with sex, action, love, just for the sake of Hollywood.<br />
<br />
<i><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I'm already ruining this review. I can't spell. Without those red squiggles, I can't spell a thing. I'm so pathetic. No one will want to read this review. But maybe that is OK, since I am keeping with the movie. Who cares about the audience. If the audience doesn't like it they can read some other blog. It's not my responsibility to write garbage just because the average internet user has the equivalent of a 2nd grade education. I do want them to like me, though.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></i>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHaJOLacyTH8wrYCvhaoJNdbtoJYm8VeCQ4cs2m4vl5O7jDQAByiCsWtR3ME4usmrd13ZRhZk3Voih39DuGuOsU90xyHp8jC3Of8upzCZPYhKT8D95m2u-d_ktCX7Oaj62UKpc98Iy6cE/s1600/adaptation-still-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="267" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHaJOLacyTH8wrYCvhaoJNdbtoJYm8VeCQ4cs2m4vl5O7jDQAByiCsWtR3ME4usmrd13ZRhZk3Voih39DuGuOsU90xyHp8jC3Of8upzCZPYhKT8D95m2u-d_ktCX7Oaj62UKpc98Iy6cE/s400/adaptation-still-1.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This movie is worth watching if just for seeing TWO Nicolas Cages on screen.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Dr. Cage also plays Charlie Kaufman's fictional twin brother, Donald. Donald lays around all the time on the ground, and wants to also become a screenwriter, but wants to go to a costly seminar about screenwriting that almost sounds like a scam. Charlie says this is stupid, because a seminar will never help you write something new, which should be the goal for all writers.<br />
<br />
<i><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"> This isn't going well. This isn't interesting at all. I wanted to write something interesting and original, and I'm just sitting here and can't even think about how to recap this movie. I can't find an anmiated gif for this review. I'm terrible.</span></i><br />
<br />
The story Charlie is writing is about a man (named Laroche) who goes into the swamps in Florida and poaches orchids. He takes Seminole tribe members with him to try and avoid the law, saying that the natives are allowed to poach plants. The goal for Laroche is to poach the 'ghost orchid', which is very rare. Then he plans to cultivate them and sell them for a bunch of money. Then if people can buy the ghost orchid in stores, the flower would be better protected from poachers by decreasing its rarity. Also, you can make drugs.<br />
<br />
<i><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Why don't girls look at me the way they look at Nicolas Cage. Is it because I'm bald? Women just like confidence; how can I have confidence if I am bald? Maybe I can grow a mustache. I think women like mustaches, or at least a certain kind of woman. I wonder if I would know what to do with the kind of woman that likes mustaches. What if I can't grow a mustache?</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></i>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjroMd5n5dlWIV8XbR9Cr2Pk6fh3PyqMnF_OfTjfwi1gr111uEEaosHvTG1L2gqOXSkUv3AXMRaFnRmfMpZ7Dtp6oLvwqkKNDmmGiaZOAkwbzFx9mFv53HPlC0Uo2dhDyZuvdfMhEJEUOs/s1600/adaptation-3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="262" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjroMd5n5dlWIV8XbR9Cr2Pk6fh3PyqMnF_OfTjfwi1gr111uEEaosHvTG1L2gqOXSkUv3AXMRaFnRmfMpZ7Dtp6oLvwqkKNDmmGiaZOAkwbzFx9mFv53HPlC0Uo2dhDyZuvdfMhEJEUOs/s400/adaptation-3.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The meta-Cage of this movie is amazing. Not only is there Nicolas Cage playing two people (Charlie and Donald), but at one point you get to see Nicolas Cage play Donald acting as Charlie. Good stuff.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Laroche is all about passion and collecting. All he wants is orchids. Before that, he was obsessed with other things. At 10 years old he collected turtles until he gave up on them and trashed his collection. Then at 17 he collected fish, then one morning woke up and said "fuck fish" and now won't step foot in the ocean. Then he moved on to collecting something else.<br />
<br />
<i><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">If I can just end this review with an exciting animated gif, people will still like it. It doesn't even need to fit with the rest of the review. The audience won't care. I'll find a gif. That's what this needs.</span></i><br />
<br />
As some point in the movie, we realize that the movie is a meta-movie, because the movie that is playing out is the screenplay that Charlie is currently writing. This becomes clear when Charlie has a breakthrough about how to start the movie. He repeats an echo of what we actually see as at the start of the movie. Toward the end, Charlie writes something and then we see it happen on screen.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhl0DtlrhhSBDrH5mHfJNpbkYng6LE_p-LTK0bOKRFem7VE54jsGDk12kju0lFgr7NAjg5otnloH0prquidn4ImMgOptQfcVfr7PEINWe16rMKIaa-ZdILYuAgxcR4pAiCI-ZliFOwaFAg/s1600/nicholas_cage.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="143" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhl0DtlrhhSBDrH5mHfJNpbkYng6LE_p-LTK0bOKRFem7VE54jsGDk12kju0lFgr7NAjg5otnloH0prquidn4ImMgOptQfcVfr7PEINWe16rMKIaa-ZdILYuAgxcR4pAiCI-ZliFOwaFAg/s400/nicholas_cage.gif" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is obviously not from the movie, but is pretty awesome.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<b>Movie quotability:</b></div>
<ul>
<li>Maybe if I were happier my hair wouldn't be falling out?</li>
<li>You are what you love, not what loves you.</li>
<li>I can't believe I got shot. Isn't that fucked up?</li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;">Plot Holes:</b></span><br />
<ul>
<li>None.</li>
</ul>
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<div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
CAGEamatic</div>
</th><th><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNblWN4I4w821_P8qXPhW4LNqDm25qdmi4u-UhKXenpk2uMt3_PZaWaTQBjAgI9KNUJWePdX17bofjIb27OZOm_RqmbhZws1sm57AS1pLvJSaXxabO1xSTZSHB33lk8TPCd6B1HlyDCdQ/s1600/cageOscar_cropped.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="80" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNblWN4I4w821_P8qXPhW4LNqDm25qdmi4u-UhKXenpk2uMt3_PZaWaTQBjAgI9KNUJWePdX17bofjIb27OZOm_RqmbhZws1sm57AS1pLvJSaXxabO1xSTZSHB33lk8TPCd6B1HlyDCdQ/s200/cageOscar_cropped.jpg" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Cinematic</div>
</th></tr>
<tr><th>Skyler</th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Exceeds Expectations</b></div>
</td><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Exceeds Expectations</b></div>
</td></tr>
<tr><th>Shauna</th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK813WdzqXnhndH7FRTzR8T9RSo0Ttg9D3jaU-lDS8pXZSy88X4FtTLe2kOLqeulvav90q8DMUqv1e8QT2s1vbZniYs9RuVNEBjm4QEnA0Ahl3SJV4MVCmEX2mu58pm_ROK6XUh9l_KCA/s1600/Thumbs-up-icon.png" /></div>
</td><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhK813WdzqXnhndH7FRTzR8T9RSo0Ttg9D3jaU-lDS8pXZSy88X4FtTLe2kOLqeulvav90q8DMUqv1e8QT2s1vbZniYs9RuVNEBjm4QEnA0Ahl3SJV4MVCmEX2mu58pm_ROK6XUh9l_KCA/s1600/Thumbs-up-icon.png" /></div>
</td></tr>
<tr><th>James</th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>4.80/5</b></div>
</td><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>4.50/5</b></div>
</td></tr>
<tr><th>Martine</th><td colspan="2"><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>!Stayed in the CAGE!</b></div>
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Skyler Weaverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13516715611434524812noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5486647021928910059.post-44317034949673879742012-12-08T12:24:00.000-08:002012-12-09T17:33:40.295-08:00#44 City of Angels<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<link href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/e/e1/City_Of_Angels.jpg/215px-City_Of_Angels.jpg" rel="image_src"></link>
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<a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/e/e1/City_Of_Angels.jpg/215px-City_Of_Angels.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/e/e1/City_Of_Angels.jpg/215px-City_Of_Angels.jpg" width="216" /></a></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">#44 City of Angels</span></b></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Year:</b> 1998</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Director:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b>Brad Silberling</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>MPAA Ra</b><b>ting:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b>PG-13</span></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Epic Co-stars:</b> Meg Ryan, Andre Braugher, Dennis Franz (RON SWANSON CAMEO!)</span></div>
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Running Time:</b> 114 min</span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Time:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b>90%</span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Kills:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b>2</span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Flip-outs:</b> 1 (meh)</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Shauna'</b></span><b><span style="font-size: large;">s Review:</span> </b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Just to give you a little background here, I am a female person. Therefore, I like Meg Ryan movies. (I am watching <i>Sleepless in Seattle</i> at this very moment, no joke.) I kind of couldn't believe that I had never seen this movie before, given that it stars both Lord Cage and the aforementioned Ms. Ryan. I even considered "pre-watching" this one prior to movie night, so that I could actually hear the dialogue (it's like watching movies with Statler and Waldorf). Boy, would that have been a waste of 114 minutes. </span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This wallpaper is an accurate representation of the quality of this film. </td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Within two minutes, it became apparent that this movie is stupid. What tipped me off were the hundreds of poorly photoshopped men in black trench coats, sitting on billboards all over Los Angeles. Nothing could be lamer than a movie that desperately announces, "This is esoteric and interesting! This is deep and cool!" No, it's not. Just because you talk about death doesn't make you deep, and unfortunately, just because you managed to snag Dr Cage doesn't mean that you have made a good movie (boy, have we learned </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">that </i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">lesson). Granted, I only heard about 30% of the dialogue, but that was plenty. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The basic premise of the movie is as follows: Seth (Cage) is one of hundreds of angels who</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">, dressed like Neo,</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> stalk invisibly around Los Angeles, both saving people and leading them down (literal) hallways after they die. He meets surgeon Maggie (Meg Ryan) at a hospital and is impressed with her determination to save her patient, as well as her anguish when the patient dies. Seth becomes convinced that Maggie saw him in the operating room, and stalks her. He allows himself to become visible to her, and she becomes equally </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">(inexplicably) </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">infatuated with him . Seth, being an angel, is unable to truly sense anything-- touch, smell, taste, etc-- but he learns that he has the choice to fall to Earth (literally) and become mortal. Will he choose such a fate? WHO CAN SAY?? </span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgY1MBdHN5Yg_kMfmHF_m-GHommGssPlisjWU4mIftRWY8N6VjgOfyO_tOM5mMvNDUhVzAMW1L6XrdzOoaIptjVRBfuMMwDWQawkIBpBM1tMSw3ZxM-EuPSHFALc9ctY-EE7qGmgeUFl1g/s1600/936full-city-of-angels-photo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="210" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgY1MBdHN5Yg_kMfmHF_m-GHommGssPlisjWU4mIftRWY8N6VjgOfyO_tOM5mMvNDUhVzAMW1L6XrdzOoaIptjVRBfuMMwDWQawkIBpBM1tMSw3ZxM-EuPSHFALc9ctY-EE7qGmgeUFl1g/s400/936full-city-of-angels-photo.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Watching. Always watching. </td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Fortunately, Cage made this movie in what I consider his "peak hotness" years (the </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Rock-Con Air-Face/Off </i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">era). Unfortunately, he is a </span><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S2fIPa8nayM" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;" target="_blank">creepy Watson</a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">. (</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">James considers this Cage's creepiest role, even surpassing </span><a href="http://ayearinthecage.blogspot.com/2012/01/1993-deadfall.html" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Eddie</a>)<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The scenes in this movie are wildly repetitive, in that they are usually something like this: open on someone (usually Meg Ryan) in the kitchen/ bathtub/ operating room, talking to someone/ taking a bath/ performing surgery, pan out and see Nic Cage standing behind the refrigerator door/ sitting in a chair next to the tub/ watching from the corner. Basically, you may not see Cage at first, but you know he's there, lurking in the corner and watching, creepily.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhADTX7wmtfvQMYrPECO6k7HXSwO-C9l33NZ2i_la0IK1-QR9LK271mhCwcYVoeAFprcAJUtYG7hkayQ2wDZYA9sL1Kj7MuQJu6gtXw2aBvCzx_nqkTzqDELJfcMvxRGbdeMr4Q5Zbg7wQ/s1600/600full-city-of-angels-screenshot.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhADTX7wmtfvQMYrPECO6k7HXSwO-C9l33NZ2i_la0IK1-QR9LK271mhCwcYVoeAFprcAJUtYG7hkayQ2wDZYA9sL1Kj7MuQJu6gtXw2aBvCzx_nqkTzqDELJfcMvxRGbdeMr4Q5Zbg7wQ/s400/600full-city-of-angels-screenshot.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Nicolas Cage gets me all hot and bothered.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Even if you buy all this lame hokum about angels and death, blah blah blah, the fundamental premise of this movie as a chick flick is deeply flawed. Meg Ryan plays a successful cardiothoracic surgeon. Her boyfriend is kind of lame, but she could definitely find another one because she is rich, young, and attractive. She meets this weird guy who says he works as a messenger; he lives in a library, he doesn't blink, he never changes his clothes, and he talks in a quiet voice about death all the time. Then </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Meg Ryan takes a bath and drinks Rolling Rock while fantasizing about this guy, who must be the creepiest guy she ever met. What? Now you're in love? What? Also, WATCH OUT, HE'S BEHIND THE FRIDGE! </span><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Movie quotability:</span></b></div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">James: "Is he an angel in this movie, or Batman?"</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"You've definitely been beeped."</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"What are you, like a bike messenger?" "I am a messenger for God."</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Skyler: "He's going on some kind of man date with this... fatty."</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">James: "That's a sweet-looking dog. Never mind, that's just a fucking yellow lab."</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Why do you wear the same clothes all the time? Why won't you give me your phone number? ...are you married?"</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Where are you from?" "Up."</span></li>
</ul>
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<b style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Plot Holes:</span></b><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Nic Cage says, "What do you like best?" And the girl says, "Pajamas."</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Room full of babies (I guess that's called a "nursery") is completely quiet. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Angels steal library books. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Nic Cage and Meg Ryan go to a farmer's market. Can people see him now? He's carrying a basket. Do they just see a basket bobbing around in mid-air?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I wasn't watching this movie very closely, but it seems weird that Meg Ryan would go to Dennis Franz and say, "I don't understand a God who would let us meet if there's no way we can be together," if she didn't know that Dennis was also a fallen angel, ie. someone who had an understanding of what the fuck she was talking about. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Wait, Nic Cage gets to keep her house? Did they get a quickie marriage that we missed out on? Sometime between the tender lovemaking at the steamy shower scene?</span></li>
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CAGEamatic</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNblWN4I4w821_P8qXPhW4LNqDm25qdmi4u-UhKXenpk2uMt3_PZaWaTQBjAgI9KNUJWePdX17bofjIb27OZOm_RqmbhZws1sm57AS1pLvJSaXxabO1xSTZSHB33lk8TPCd6B1HlyDCdQ/s1600/cageOscar_cropped.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="80" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNblWN4I4w821_P8qXPhW4LNqDm25qdmi4u-UhKXenpk2uMt3_PZaWaTQBjAgI9KNUJWePdX17bofjIb27OZOm_RqmbhZws1sm57AS1pLvJSaXxabO1xSTZSHB33lk8TPCd6B1HlyDCdQ/s200/cageOscar_cropped.jpg" /></a></div>
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Cinematic</div>
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<tr><th>Skyler</th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Poor</b></div>
</td><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Troll</b></div>
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<tr><th>Shauna</th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7w1vl4Nam-zrqCn1rTS_A2-KC9Ni0WbsEYHgPPZ3ZI2eImHzCtk4fnVmP3ULBtZ9QzNUDEdDgxolT5tacQBeigs6AbkOuoIDvAgVZhr6WDZlq45clYQ_oSxzjYsOMrbIu2W6uv6HBtyE/s1600/Thumbs-down-icon.png" imageanchor="1" style="font-size: 100%; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><b><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7w1vl4Nam-zrqCn1rTS_A2-KC9Ni0WbsEYHgPPZ3ZI2eImHzCtk4fnVmP3ULBtZ9QzNUDEdDgxolT5tacQBeigs6AbkOuoIDvAgVZhr6WDZlq45clYQ_oSxzjYsOMrbIu2W6uv6HBtyE/s1600/Thumbs-down-icon.png" /></b></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7w1vl4Nam-zrqCn1rTS_A2-KC9Ni0WbsEYHgPPZ3ZI2eImHzCtk4fnVmP3ULBtZ9QzNUDEdDgxolT5tacQBeigs6AbkOuoIDvAgVZhr6WDZlq45clYQ_oSxzjYsOMrbIu2W6uv6HBtyE/s1600/Thumbs-down-icon.png" imageanchor="1" style="font-size: 100%; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><b><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7w1vl4Nam-zrqCn1rTS_A2-KC9Ni0WbsEYHgPPZ3ZI2eImHzCtk4fnVmP3ULBtZ9QzNUDEdDgxolT5tacQBeigs6AbkOuoIDvAgVZhr6WDZlq45clYQ_oSxzjYsOMrbIu2W6uv6HBtyE/s1600/Thumbs-down-icon.png" /></b></a></div>
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<tr><th>James</th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>1.41</b></div>
</td><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>0.98</b></div>
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<tr><th>Martine</th><td colspan="2"><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Stayed in the Cage.</b></div>
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Skyler Weaverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13516715611434524812noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5486647021928910059.post-82051006865996958092012-12-06T12:21:00.000-08:002012-12-09T17:34:40.097-08:00#43 8MM<link href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/b/bc/8mm-film-poster.jpg/220px-8mm-film-poster.jpg" rel="image_src"></link>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">#43 8MM</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Year:</b> 1999</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Director:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b>Joel Schumacher</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>MPAA Ra</b><b>ting:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> </b>R</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Epic Co-stars:</b> Joaquin Phoenix, James Gandolfini, Carl Hungus, Catherine Keener</span></div>
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Running Time:</b> 123 mins</span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Time:</b><b style="font-weight: normal;"> 99%</b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Kills: </b>2</span></span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><b>Cage Flip-outs:</b> 5</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Group Review: </b></span>When sitting down to watch 8MM I thought, "Isn't Joel Schumacher a good director?" I looked on IMDB and saw such gems as "St Elmo's Fire" and "Batman Forever" on his resume, which was encouraging... and then I saw "<a href="http://ayearinthecage.blogspot.com/2012/01/2011-trespass.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Trespass</span></a>." So... that doesn't bode well. I guess 8MM could go either way...</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFqqa1P-KRNm6aLzFwGF2GbTv2-5SyVJ5vcrPP71_rxACnOl68dsKordLJ3F3QHM0KZJegL-_nRATbWJbv59n0HV_VIHPq62wdc7Lx0AYq2S5ZFR57G6BMYwfr-zhRQxbiCrvZY18djV4/s1600/Cage8mmScream.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFqqa1P-KRNm6aLzFwGF2GbTv2-5SyVJ5vcrPP71_rxACnOl68dsKordLJ3F3QHM0KZJegL-_nRATbWJbv59n0HV_VIHPq62wdc7Lx0AYq2S5ZFR57G6BMYwfr-zhRQxbiCrvZY18djV4/s320/Cage8mmScream.jpg" width="246" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This picture is quite possibly the best thing to come out of this film.</span></td></tr>
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Tom Welles (Cage), a private investigator, is summoned to the home of a wealthy widow. The widow reveals to Cage that after the death of her husband, a prominent member of the community, she found among his things an 8mm film of the rape and murder of a young girl. She asks him to investigate the legitimacy of this film and the people involved in its creation. Posing as a federal agent, Cage discovers the identity of the girl, a runaway, and meets her mother, who says that no matter what, she needs to know the truth about what happened to her daughter. Dun-dun-DUNNNN.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_HjiKdwElTTeWXvlguZGX6MtfkwJ6ZVzW0Kw8gvrzxTWsYA6LK53x0ITyyVmDrHWz063_LCg-3Chmy8TAezhWs32NbPOeOrZ4n7geshwRx3IWnKy1cMNuB5d8hWVwpNZYCQw08x8Fwws/s1600/Cage8mmViewing.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_HjiKdwElTTeWXvlguZGX6MtfkwJ6ZVzW0Kw8gvrzxTWsYA6LK53x0ITyyVmDrHWz063_LCg-3Chmy8TAezhWs32NbPOeOrZ4n7geshwRx3IWnKy1cMNuB5d8hWVwpNZYCQw08x8Fwws/s320/Cage8mmViewing.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Nic Cage almost vomits when initially viewing the film. It serves as a nice reminder of a time before the internet when people could still be shocked or offended by stuff.</span></td></tr>
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Although I stated earlier that this movie could go either way, it really didn't. While it was nowhere near the total swill that is <a href="http://ayearinthecage.blogspot.com/2012/01/2011-trespass.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Trespass</span></a>, it was also nothing that will be getting unanimously positive reviews on this blog. The ending does bring some decent suspense and there are some "scary" characters, but most of the time I just felt like it was taking a bit too long to get to where ever the hell this movie was going. This feeling wasn't helped by the fact that a scene that would normally come at the end came in the middle, which made the remainder of the movie "drag ass".</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinE53EnsqVJMpR8mOikrsT1hxTg2kG9Za5z8DJ_mTzL1fmsz5lV-YuH4HCf9pey27lQf9PB576U1ybXZ-21hOyMtuBCtwwQh2MkRUnXajG2UOjYNDCCsunpyF9M7-yvCNDkY64sjP8tDE/s1600/ncage08mm.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="185" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinE53EnsqVJMpR8mOikrsT1hxTg2kG9Za5z8DJ_mTzL1fmsz5lV-YuH4HCf9pey27lQf9PB576U1ybXZ-21hOyMtuBCtwwQh2MkRUnXajG2UOjYNDCCsunpyF9M7-yvCNDkY64sjP8tDE/s400/ncage08mm.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The look of a truly passionate swordsman. Little know Cage fact: This scene single handedly landed his role in <a href="http://ayearinthecage.blogspot.com/2012/01/2011-season-of-witch.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Season of the Witch</span></a>.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Cage's acting was on point with the general style of the movie. Pretty middle of the road; nothing worth the praise of an academy award or worth the self loathing he must have had after his initial viewing of <a href="http://ayearinthecage.blogspot.com/2012/04/2007-ghost-rider.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Ghost Rider</span></a>. Some of his high points include delivering all of his lines like a man who's had the blood drained out of him and being the worlds worst deliverer of bad news over the phone. Everyone he makes a phone call to ends up sobbing on the floor. In the end I only came away with two things: Never use the word "snuff" when talking to Latino porn lords and that there is a dark side of George Costanza that we never saw on Seinfeld. Use that information however you see fit.</span><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Movie quotability:</span></b></div>
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<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Wait, so we're watching a Nic Cage film??" -Martine</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Why is every word that comes out of Nicolas Cage's mouse so... goddamn... amazing?" -James</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"His wife is bullshit." -James</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Is that painting a picture of Jon Voight?" -Geoff</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Nic Cage: "Mrs. Christian." Nathan (sings): "Sister Christian..."</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Nathan: "There's no lights in this movie." Skyler: "That's why it's a dark comedy."</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"I'd hate to see you caught in one of those every day situations that calls for a battery-operated vagina, and you don't have one." -Joaquin Phoenix</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Hey! It's like a gas station, you pay before you pump." -JP</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"There's things that you're gonna see that you can't un-see. They'll stick in your brain." -JP</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"That's great. Snuff 2: The Resurrection." -JP</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"What if it's not the right guy? He's like, 'Hey, you know how you got stabbed? Now I'm going to kick the shit out of you.'" -Shauna</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"You dance with the devil, the devil doesn't change. The devil changes you." -JP</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"George Costanza!" - Martine</span></li>
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<b style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Plot Holes:</span></b><br />
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<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Why did he need to go out of town to investigate this? If he didn't know anything about the film, how would he know where to look for the girl?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Man has two sons named Warren.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What humans talk this way?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's dark all the time in Hollywood.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Cage loiters aimlessly in back yards looking like a real creeper and nobody seems to care.</span></li>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguIgBWg6roT2Q-D7aqXGxqlXfe64NFCdwnCpE-XpZ3s1AGjxnaicAnJi2ICOEPVIEdPvQ7EG3njH8Ce7xi9OzIAg5dsqWbOjCK4x2k11_jdQWt8perqbIrWZvCr_gWRD1qj5p0J-f5yDQ/s1600/NCcrazy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="80" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguIgBWg6roT2Q-D7aqXGxqlXfe64NFCdwnCpE-XpZ3s1AGjxnaicAnJi2ICOEPVIEdPvQ7EG3njH8Ce7xi9OzIAg5dsqWbOjCK4x2k11_jdQWt8perqbIrWZvCr_gWRD1qj5p0J-f5yDQ/s1600/NCcrazy.jpg" /></a></div>
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CAGEamatic</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNblWN4I4w821_P8qXPhW4LNqDm25qdmi4u-UhKXenpk2uMt3_PZaWaTQBjAgI9KNUJWePdX17bofjIb27OZOm_RqmbhZws1sm57AS1pLvJSaXxabO1xSTZSHB33lk8TPCd6B1HlyDCdQ/s1600/cageOscar_cropped.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="80" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNblWN4I4w821_P8qXPhW4LNqDm25qdmi4u-UhKXenpk2uMt3_PZaWaTQBjAgI9KNUJWePdX17bofjIb27OZOm_RqmbhZws1sm57AS1pLvJSaXxabO1xSTZSHB33lk8TPCd6B1HlyDCdQ/s200/cageOscar_cropped.jpg" /></a></div>
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Cinamatic</div>
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<tr><th>Skyler</th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Poor</b></div>
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<b>Acceptable</b></div>
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<tr><th>Shauna</th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7w1vl4Nam-zrqCn1rTS_A2-KC9Ni0WbsEYHgPPZ3ZI2eImHzCtk4fnVmP3ULBtZ9QzNUDEdDgxolT5tacQBeigs6AbkOuoIDvAgVZhr6WDZlq45clYQ_oSxzjYsOMrbIu2W6uv6HBtyE/s1600/Thumbs-down-icon.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><b><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7w1vl4Nam-zrqCn1rTS_A2-KC9Ni0WbsEYHgPPZ3ZI2eImHzCtk4fnVmP3ULBtZ9QzNUDEdDgxolT5tacQBeigs6AbkOuoIDvAgVZhr6WDZlq45clYQ_oSxzjYsOMrbIu2W6uv6HBtyE/s1600/Thumbs-down-icon.png" /></b></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7w1vl4Nam-zrqCn1rTS_A2-KC9Ni0WbsEYHgPPZ3ZI2eImHzCtk4fnVmP3ULBtZ9QzNUDEdDgxolT5tacQBeigs6AbkOuoIDvAgVZhr6WDZlq45clYQ_oSxzjYsOMrbIu2W6uv6HBtyE/s1600/Thumbs-down-icon.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><b><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7w1vl4Nam-zrqCn1rTS_A2-KC9Ni0WbsEYHgPPZ3ZI2eImHzCtk4fnVmP3ULBtZ9QzNUDEdDgxolT5tacQBeigs6AbkOuoIDvAgVZhr6WDZlq45clYQ_oSxzjYsOMrbIu2W6uv6HBtyE/s1600/Thumbs-down-icon.png" /></b></a></div>
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<tr><th>James</th><td><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>3.19/5</b></div>
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<b>3.26/5</b></div>
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<tr><th>Martine</th><td colspan="2"><div style="text-align: center;">
<b>!Christmas shopping in the CAGE!</b></div>
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Skyler Weaverhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13516715611434524812noreply@blogger.com7