Director: Hoyt Yeatman
MPAA Rating: PG
MPAA Rating: PG
Epic Co-stars: Will Arnett, Zach Galifianakis, Sam Rockwell, Tracy Morgan, Penelope Cruz, Jon Favreau, Steve BuschemiRunning Time: 88 mins
Cage Time: 5%
Cage Kills: 0
Cage Flip-outs: 0
As you may have noticed on the Epic Co-Stars list, there are a lot of freaking famous people in this kid's movie. Most of them are rodents. Dr Cage is a star-nosed mole, featuring his voice from Peggy Sue, in case you were missing it. Zach Galifianakis is probably the most humorous (not saying much) as a human person who talks to guinea pigs. Will Arnett's innate awesomeness is unfortunately subdued to a dull roar, but Penelope Cruz is still pretty goddamn sexy as a guinea pig, go figure.
Zach Galifianakis runs a Homeland Security special unit comprised of 3 guinea pigs, a mole (Nic Cage) a fly, and some cockroaches. On the eve of a crucial performance review, they run an op and retrieve a secret file from the computer of an evil bad guy (Bill Nighy, of course). When the big boss (Will Arnett) shows up for the review, the stolen file turns out to be the plans for an espresso maker, and their unit is canned. The animals are taken to a pet shop and must escape to meet back up with Zach. Hilarious pet-related hijinks ensue. It turns out that the espresso maker (and all of the other appliances in the world) is some kind of transformer robot weapon, so the guinea pigs have to save the world from the evil bad guy.
This was actually... not terrible. Not great, certainly, but not terrible. I mean, it's not like this has any real character development or plot interest, but I appreciate the Jerry Bruckheimer style (The Rock, Con Air) in a kid's movie, what can I say? Unfortunately, the soundtrack is 100% Black Eyed Peas, and Cage time is limited.
|The mole is the mole! Oh, spoiler alert.|
|Zach Galifiankis: "This is actually preferable to Hangover 2."|
- "I'm a mole, I've got a thing for worms."
- "No escape! I repeat, no escape!"
- "No, not the cage! I don't do cages!"
- "C'mon Specks, act cute." "I don't have that kind of range."
- "I wanted you to think of yourselves as more than just balls of fur, waiting for your next pellet."
- "You ever google the word 'mole'?... Three million entries on how to exterminate them!"
- In a movie where guinea pigs are superspies... what plots holes could there be?