#55 Never on Tuesday


#55 Never on Tuesday
Year: 1989
Director: Adam Rifkin
MPAA Rating:
Epic Co-stars: Gilbert Gottfried, Charlie Sheen, the coach from Mighty Ducks
Running Time: 89 minutes
Cage Time: < 1%
Cage Kills/Deaths: 0
Cage Flip-outs: 0
Group Review: When Nicolas Cage, the greatest actor in human history, is credited in a movie as "man in red car" you know you are in for a real shit show.  Is that what you get?  Read on and find out...
This has nothing to do with the movie.  It's just a picture of our cat Nicky who watches every  film with is.  He's a big Cage fan.

Two dudes go on a road trip from Ohio for L.A., Cali to see some T&A. They start with a painful conversation about their hair. Yeah, the guys. They immediately crash into a red VW bug with a "hot" chick in it. This really pissed us off because the only reason we are watching this movie is to Nicolas Cage play the bit part "man in red car." We saw the main characters hit a red car and were super excited, but alas, no Cage here; keep watching. More boring conversation, then... RED CAR! RED CAR! Lo and behold a fake-nosed Nicolas Cage steps out of a car and says "Is anybody hurt? Can I give somebody a lift? (laughs maniacally) " (much like how he delivered the line "You mean, my wang?" from Peggy Sue), laughs, and drives off.  That's it folks! 10 minutes in and there is no more Cage in store for us. But that 20 seconds with him on the screen was worth it. It was like a cross between Charlie Bodell and Acid Yellow. After this the movie goes about like this: They say "lesbo" a lot. Stuff happens (and by "stuff" I mean not really much of anything).  We see tits. Roll credits.


It's okay if his nose scares you.  He is only testing your love.  Submit to it.
In case you didn't figure it out the answer to the previously asked question it is yes, a total shit show.  Despite this fact, Cage's "Man in Red Car" was delivered with more style and creativity than any other man in any colored car and all of cinematic history.  Using his shamanic powers he takes what would have been a throw away part to any other hack-job of an actor and turns it into something unexpected, funny, jarring, strange, and above all memorable.  Just another small gift to all his children...      ...thank you father.





Movie quotability:
  • "California or boobs" - bumper sticker
  • "Is anybody hurt? CanI give comebody a lift?"

Plot Holes:

CAGEamatic
Cinematic
Skyler
Exceeds Expectations
Dreadful
Shauna
James
3.77/5
2.01/5
Martine
!Read in the CAGE!

2 comments:

Steve M said...

Not on Netflix. I watched the scenes with Cage and Sheen, that's got to count for something.

Steve M said...

OK, so it is on Netflix as James showed me. Not that it added much to the experience as there was a whole lot of nothing going on.

I thought the next lesson for us would be saving the spotted owl, but it turns out that we are to learn to not torment ants, moles, or lesbians.

You can almost imagine how the phone call to Cage when down. They offer a part where he gets to drive a sports car and act like a weirdo and he accepts before even hearing what the pay is.

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