#57 The Boy in Blue

#57 The Boy in Blue

Year: 1986

Director: Charles Jarrot
MPAA Rating: R

Epic Co-stars: A guy that looks like Robert Downey Jr, Christopher Plummer

Running Time: 100 minutes
Cage Time: 100%
Cage Kills: 0
Cage Flip-outs: 4

Shauna's Review: 

Boy in Blue is a period film about sculling (rowing), which the intro text tells us was basically the only sport in the era that this film is set. We open to Nic Cage kicking some ass in a race, where everyone's wearing dirty (period) clothing and rowing to 80's music, inexplicably. Cage tries to smuggle some moonshine   into America (presumably his night job) and is chased down by some policemen/ religious nuttos. He ends up on a boat to Philadelphia with a man who wants to manage him in some American races. Sporting movie type cliches go here.

Cage, so hot right now, Cage.

Martine is creaming her pants about this movie about 2 minutes in. His teeth aren't great, but he is young and super-ripped and HAWT. Yum. My favorite moment so far is when James says, "This is pretty much what Canada was like then," about a scene where the characters are at a circus in Philadelphia, all waving American flags, in case you missed the part where they said they were going to Philly. Anyway, the subject material isn't all that riveting-- it's based on the true story of Ned Hanlan, a Canadian who was one of the first rowers to use a sliding seat. Yes, a sliding seat pulls a lot of focus in this movie.

I'm young and pretty, give me some money.

TRIVIA: The steamboat shown in this movie is the oldest operating steam powered vessel in North America today. Woot. If you take a quick gander at Ned Hanlan's wikipedia page, you will see that this movie is very loosely based on his life. Best not to dwell on such things and just stare into those dreamy blue eyes, or gaze at those sweaty laterals.

This gun tastes terrible! Where have you been keeping it, in your ass?

In sum, I think it's worth seeing Cage in this movie, if only to see his rippling seating muscles, tight ass, and humongous sweatpants bulge. There are also some sexy lady bits, if that's more what you're into. But Cage is the real gem here-- young, handsome, and already earnest about investing himself fully into each character.

Movie quotability:

• "Should we let them finish, sir?"
• "The Boy in Blue." "That makes me sound like some kind of fancy boy!"
• "You take the two on the right." "YOU take the two on the right."
• "Big words don't butter the beans."
• "Well, they say I look bigger with my clothes off."
• "SHE'S FINE, BUGGER OFF."

Plot Holes:

• Characters in America drinking booze.
• Souvenir pillowcases are a thing. 
• James says the clock in the background of the movie at 1:20 does not make sense.

	CAGEamatic	Cinematic
Skyler	Exceeds Expectations	Exceeds Expectations
Shauna
James	3.08/5	2.91/5
Martine	Hot and bothered in the Cage.

#5 Peggy Sue Got Married

#5 Peggy Sue Got Married 

Year: 1986

Director: Francis Ford Coppola 

MPAA Rating: PG-13 

Epic Co-stars: Jim Carrey

Running Time: 103 mins
Cage Time: ~35%
Cage Kills: 0
Cage Flip-outs: 1 

Shauna's Review: Kathleen Turner stars as Peggy Sue, a 43-year-old divorcee who passes out at her 25 year high school reunion and flashes back to her senior year with her ex-husband and high school sweetheart, played by none other than Nic Cage. 22-year-old Nicolas Cage has a voice like an 8-year-old with a sinus infection, which makes me giggle through most of his dialogue. Also he looks like my little brother in a pompadour. Nic Cage has plenty of his own family in the film-- his uncle directed and his cousin, Sofia Coppola, played Peggy Sue's younger sister. Lucky for Nic Cage that he had someone in the director's seat who understood his unique creative vision (i.e. a crazed smile and a voice modeled after Pokey, Gumby's horse). This film is sweet but mostly a total bore except for a few laughable moments and a wondrous scene where Nicolas dresses in a gold lame blazer, sings in an a capella group, and does pelvic thrusts. 

Movie quotability: 0.5/5

• "Save it, woman. Humiliator!"
• "You mean... my wang?"
• "My dad's right, teenagers are nuts."
• "Oh boy. Just cherish me."
• "Look, I've got the hair. I've got the teeth. I've got the eyes. Look out that window, I've got the car. I'm the lead singer. I'm the man."
• Peggy, you know what a penis is...  Stay away from it."

Plot Holes:

• Throughout the entire movie the daughter is always present while the son is spoken of only in the past and for some reason doesn't seem to exist in the present tense.

	CAGEamatic	Cinematic
Skyler	Exceeds Expectations	Acceptable
Shauna
James	4.32/5	4.18/5
Martine	!Stayed in the Cage!