Avoid Cage Burnout!

Spending a year in the cage is not going to be easy for even the most die-hard fans.  Use the chart below to avoid Cage Burn-out!  For best results, never watch more than two movies in a row from the same quadrant.  This will ensure that you are constantly refreshed and amazed by Mr. Cage's amazing depth and breadth of range.  Sure the chart has some issues (Peggy Sue Got Married equally as serious as Lord of War or that Cameron Poe from Con Air is equally as Brilliant as H.I. McDunnough from Raising Arizona), but this chart can still be used as rough guide to the Cage Extremes.

The Cage Matrix from theShiznit.com:  A valuable tool to help you survive a year in the CAGE.


Unknown said...

A good start, but I see some clear errors here.

A) How could anything be more rubbish than Ghost Rider?

B) No way is World Trade Center more brilliant than... just about anything, but notably National Treasure, Family Man, and Next, all of which are awesome.

C) He has Charlie (Peggy Sue) as more serious than Seth (City of Angels) and Cameron Poe (Con Air), when Charlie is not only mental but also very smiley, whereas Cameron Poe believes that an upward-curved mouth is a sign of weakness.

also, D) Is serious really the opposite of mental? I like to think that Nicolas Cage exemplifies the perfect marriage of the two.

James Ayers said...

I'm confident in saying that at this point, Shauna Weaver is the true authority on Nic Cage.

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