A year in the CAGE: Weston Cage

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This is what the Serbian Textbook makers had in mind! Nic Cage posing as a perfect family man even despite the fact that his family life is even crazier than the plots of some of his most ridiculous films. TMZ has given us a nice wrap up of the events leading up to last nights peaceful family reunion between Christina Fulton (ex-girlfriend / baby's momma), Weston Cage (model son / "musician"), and Nicolas Cage (god among men / god among gods).

-- Nic Cage and baby-mama Fulton hit up a courthouse to settle a nasty $13-mil lawsuit
-- Nic tells TMZ "I hope Ms. Fulton will come to her senses one day and get some help."
-- Nic sends an employee to hunt down Weston ... who then beats the crap out of him.
-- Weston is taken for a "mental evaluation," but his mom is banned from the hospital.
-- Fulton tries to get conservatorship of Weston ... against his wishes.
-- Weston tells TMZ "I want no contact with Christina Fulton and will never undergo the torment she put me through ever again."

An overjoyed Nicolas Cage poses for a photo with his family. His Nouveau Shamanic style is not just an acting discipline, but a life philosophy that is employed in virtually every situation.

The rules of enCAGEment

1. All Nicolas Cage films must be watched within 1 year! It doesn’t matter which movies you have seen previously or how many times you’ve seen them. This includes everything from 1981’s “Best of Times” to anything in the theaters on the final day of your journey. You'd better start now because Mr. Cage isn't about to stop creating art which means the longer you wait, the harder it gets.

2. You must stay in the CAGE! Once a Nicolas Cage movie is started it should be viewed through to the end credits. Pausing for potty breaks/snacks/beer/emergencies is encouraged, but a movie cannot be checked off the list until it has been completed.

3. Use the CAGElist to track your progress! As you watch each film, you MUST comment on it's respective post here to share your thoughts/experiences and allow others to track your progress. Once your run has been completed, contact the authors of this site to initiate your formal induction into the St. Nicolas Society. (We have a big stack of autographed Nic Cage headshots to hand out)

Top 10 Cage Quotes

1. "No! Not the bees! Not the bees! Ahhh! My eyes! My eyes!" - The Wicker Man

2. "Killing me won't bring back your goddamn honey! You bitches! You bitches!" - The Wicker Man

3. "How, in the name of ZEUS'S BUTTHOLE, did you get out of your cell?" - The Rock

4. "What's in the bag, a SHARK or something?" - The Wicker Man

5. "Why Couldn't you put the bunny back in the box?" - Con Air

6. "What do you say we cut the CHIT-CHAT, A-HOLE?" - The Rock

7. "You mean... my wang?" - Peggy Sue Got Married

8. "And that's what she was there for, to give you a boner. And you got one, congratulations you're human." - Snake Eyes

9. "I'd choose Mr. Ed in a second." - Guarding Tess

10. "You know, I can uh... eat a peach for hours." - Face/Off

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