#47 The Family Man

#47 The Family Man

Year: 2000

Director: Brett Ratner
MPAA Rating: PG-13

Epic Co-stars: Tea Leoni, Don Cheadle, Robert Downey Sr.

Running Time: 125 mins
Cage Time: 95%
Cage Kills: 0
Cage Flip-outs: 5

James' Review: You may be thinking to yourself "Sure, Mr. Cage can nail high flying action, insane criminals, art-house trash, and even a grind house style hero.  But can he really play a down to earth guy who you root for because you really like him?"  Well wonder no more...  The answer is a firm YES.  And in true Cage fashion he while also wearing a $1,000 suit and driving a Ferrari.  

If Dr. Cage ever decides he's tired of being the wold's #1 actor he can easily switch over to being the world's #1 topless opera singer.

Jack (Nic Cage) is a successful, narcissistic Wall Street broker. He lives in a penthouse apartment in Manhattan, enjoys casual sex with model-esque strangers, and drives an amazing Ferrari (you'll recall his stipulation about driving awesome cars in all of his movies). After working late on Christmas Eve, he intervenes in a convenience store stick-up and finds himself telling Don Cheadle that, although "everybody needs something," he has everything he needs. Turns out Don Cheadle is an angel or something, and he takes this as a challenge to show Jack  a glimpse of what he's missing-- namely, an alternate life where he marries his college girlfriend, Kate, and raises kids with her in New Jersey.  Finally an answer to the question of what to get the guy who seemingly has everything.

Yet another unsuspecting and helpless victim.

The Family Man is an instant Christmas classic.  It draws themes from both A Christmas Carol and It's a Wonderful Life (Cage is even a bit Jimmy Stewart-esque at times).  All of the classic Christmas fodder is there: Christmas parties, cute kids, a guy who doesn't know what he's missing, a guy who finally figures out what he's missing, and asshole being told off, and more feel good family love than you would care to have crammed into two glorious Cage enriched hours.  Really all that is missing is a talking snowman and an elf who desperately wants to become a dentist.

It's a treat for any small child to get the chance to encounter pure excellence at such an early stage in life.

In all, The Family Man sets the stage for Dr. Cage to once again establish himself as a well rounded actor that can make a strong human connection.  It's easy to peg Cage as an over the top action hero who does nothing but kick ass and take names.  But when he needs to (and the script calls for it), The Family Man shows that he can easily put on the charm and pull on your heart strings.  He reminds us here that although money and prestige are very alluring, they are really just a temporary plug for the void left by the absence of true love from family and friends.  This serves as a nice parallel to his acting career; so many high flying roles dazzle us in the moment but ultimately leave us wanting more from the characters he plays.  But once in a while when you really need it Cage fills your soul with his all powerful and unbounded love to once again show you what really matters in life.

This sums up the true divine spirit and nature of Dr. Cage better than any number of words ever could.

Movie quotability:

• "You're a credit to capitalism, Jack."
• "Old flames are like old tax returns. Put 'em in the filing cabinet for three years, then cut 'em loose."
• "Not cute. Not cute!"
• "You mean because you thought I was cocky, I am now on a PERMANENT! ACID TRIP!?" 
• "I'm sorry I was such a saint before, and I'm such a PRICK! NOW!"
• "Forget it. We'll get a funnel cake. It'll be the highlight of my week."
• "This is New York, this is like the needy people capital of the world. Your Jersey clients aren't a tenth as needy as the clients you'll have here."

Plot Holes:

• This is a stupid plot hole, but everyone wants me to point out that someone who was going to have triple bypass surgery the following day would already be in the hospital, not at a party.

	CAGEamatic	Cinematic
Skyler	Exceeds Expectations	Outstanding
Shauna
James	3.37/5	3.37/5
Martine	!Teared up in the Cage!

#15 Gone in Sixty Seconds

# 15 Gone in 60 Seconds

Year: 2000

Director: Dominic Sena

MPAA Rating:  R 

Epic Co-stars: Robert Duvall

Running Time: 118 mins
Cage Time: 90%
Cage Kills: 1
Cage Flip-outs: 5

Shauna's Review:

Editor's note: If this post seems short and cranky (and wildly tardy), it's because I am.

Having seen Gone in 60 Seconds in college, shortly after it came out, I had fond memories of it until recently. Recently being the point when I watched it again. On its face, the film seems like an ideal Nic Cage vehicle (ha). Memphis Raines (Cage), a retired, legendary car thief returns to his life of crime in order to save his brother's ass by stealing 50 cars in 72 hours, with the help of various likable villains and also Angelina Jolie. However, the action never really engages; although the pace is moderate, nothing of much interest seems to happen.

I'm still not sure why Cage would give up his obviously fulfilling career as a kids' go-cart manager to save Giovanni Ribisi, who is annoying, or why anyone is afraid of the tiny blonde villain, or how 50 cherry cars could possibly be worth only $200,000, even on the black market. Moreover, these are not questions interesting enough for me to spend much time pondering them.

I did perk up a bit when, during the final car chase, Cage et al race through the LA River, because it reminded me of Terminator 2. No, just kidding. I was thinking about Grease. But mentally replaying upbeat music (auto-related, no less) helped me stay awake during the last ten minutes of the film, so I appreciated it. 

Like Danny Zuko, Memphis eludes his pursuers due to sheer good-heartedness.
Also nitrous.

For those of you who didn't know, Gone in 60 Seconds is based on a 1974 cult classic (i.e. low-budget crapfest) that is revered by many boys who really like cars, I guess. If you're interested, no need to try and find this gem at a Redbox; the whole thing is streaming here. (Even better, so is Cocktail!) Anyway, I couldn't be bothered to watch the whole thing, but I did watch the final chase scene, and what I learned is that there isn't a film existing that couldn't be improved with mustaches. The End.

Thank you for being a part of this movie, Robert Duvall and Will Patton. 

Movie quotability: 1/5

• "I am a baaaaad man."
• "That's macho. That's a macho-sounding name."
• "Two Rogers don't make a right, HAHAHA."
• "AIIGHT?"
• "It's just, your knowledge overwhelms me."
• "For the next 24 hours, all your decision-making abilities have been removed."

Plot Holes:

• Stupid.

	CAGEamatic	Cinematic
Skyler	Acceptable	Poor
Shauna
James	1.88/5	1.44.5
Martine	!Fell asleep in the cage!