#7 Moonstruck

#7 Moonstruck

Year: 1987

Director: Norman Jewison

MPAA Rating:  PG 

Epic Co-stars: Cher

Running Time: 102 mins.
Cage Time: 25%
Cage Kills: 0
Cage Flip-outs: 2

Skyler's Review: Every romantic comedy has some sort of love triangle, but Moonstruck takes this to the next level: a triangle made out of two brothers and Cher (the actually young Cher, not the "young-looking" Cher). Cher's character, Loretta, is acute woman who lost her husband due to bad luck. Johnny proposes but is a bit obtuse. Loretta then meets Ronny (The Cage), Johnny's brother, and also falls for him (c'mon, it's Nic Cage). Ronny is more adjacent, but she is engaged to Johnny. She hopes for a sine. Then there is a story-arctangent, about the moon, luck, love, and the moon for a secant time. That's right, triangle jokes in this review.

Looking beautiful, as always. Cher looks OK.

Studies have shown that RomComs actually have a negative impact on your relationships by setting up unrealistic expectations for love. This movie is quite the opposite. The entire theme of this movie is that relationships are messy; life is messy. People make decisions that impact the rest of their lives, but should you listen to your prefrontal cortex (brain) or your amygdala (heart)? Ronny is the amygdala, raw emotion. He could flip-out at any moment or start crying. Johnny is the prefrontal cortex, logic and planning, unfeeling. Loretta is Freud's concept of ego trying to weigh both and make a decision about life, love, and risk. 

"It is better to have hand and lost than never to have hand at all."

Loretta struggles to make her choice, but will she be happily ever after? Well, life isn't happy ever after. Flowers die. Puppies grow into dogs, then they die. Cars break and die. The sun will die. How do you find happiness in this context? You can close your eyes and get lost in the moment, but that lasts a moment. You can plan for decades into the future, but is planning happiness? It is better to have loved and lost than to never love at all.

Real-life involves shouting-matches at the kitchen table.

Regarding Cage's performance, he is stellar. He perfectly portrays a character that doesn't think at all. Emotional action and reaction. No regard to the future! You can see why Cher requested Nic Cage by name to play this part. There is only thing that could have made this film even better: more Cage time; however, this film is a great addition to any Nicolas Cage library.

Movie quotability:

• "Chrissy, bring the big knife I'm gonna cut my throat"
• "I lost my hand! I lost my bride! Johnny has his had! Johnny has his bride!"
• "Johnny, can I borrow that ring?"

Plot Holes:

• A liquor store in Brooklyn has a big heart shaped sign in the front window.
• The year is 1987, yet Ronny still has a wooden prosthetic hand.

	CAGEamatic	Cinematic
Skyler	Acceptable	Acceptable
Shauna
James	2.8/5	3.1/5
Martine	!Enjoyed her laptop in the Cage!

#5 Peggy Sue Got Married

#5 Peggy Sue Got Married 

Year: 1986

Director: Francis Ford Coppola 

MPAA Rating: PG-13 

Epic Co-stars: Jim Carrey

Running Time: 103 mins
Cage Time: ~35%
Cage Kills: 0
Cage Flip-outs: 1 

Shauna's Review: Kathleen Turner stars as Peggy Sue, a 43-year-old divorcee who passes out at her 25 year high school reunion and flashes back to her senior year with her ex-husband and high school sweetheart, played by none other than Nic Cage. 22-year-old Nicolas Cage has a voice like an 8-year-old with a sinus infection, which makes me giggle through most of his dialogue. Also he looks like my little brother in a pompadour. Nic Cage has plenty of his own family in the film-- his uncle directed and his cousin, Sofia Coppola, played Peggy Sue's younger sister. Lucky for Nic Cage that he had someone in the director's seat who understood his unique creative vision (i.e. a crazed smile and a voice modeled after Pokey, Gumby's horse). This film is sweet but mostly a total bore except for a few laughable moments and a wondrous scene where Nicolas dresses in a gold lame blazer, sings in an a capella group, and does pelvic thrusts. 

Movie quotability: 0.5/5

• "Save it, woman. Humiliator!"
• "You mean... my wang?"
• "My dad's right, teenagers are nuts."
• "Oh boy. Just cherish me."
• "Look, I've got the hair. I've got the teeth. I've got the eyes. Look out that window, I've got the car. I'm the lead singer. I'm the man."
• Peggy, you know what a penis is...  Stay away from it."

Plot Holes:

• Throughout the entire movie the daughter is always present while the son is spoken of only in the past and for some reason doesn't seem to exist in the present tense.

	CAGEamatic	Cinematic
Skyler	Exceeds Expectations	Acceptable
Shauna
James	4.32/5	4.18/5
Martine	!Stayed in the Cage!