A year in the CAGE: matrix

Avoid Cage Burnout!

Spending a year in the cage is not going to be easy for even the most die-hard fans. Use the chart below to avoid Cage Burn-out! For best results, never watch more than two movies in a row from the same quadrant. This will ensure that you are constantly refreshed and amazed by Mr. Cage's amazing depth and breadth of range. Sure the chart has some issues (Peggy Sue Got Married equally as serious as Lord of War or that Cameron Poe from Con Air is equally as Brilliant as H.I. McDunnough from Raising Arizona), but this chart can still be used as rough guide to the Cage Extremes.

The Cage Matrix from theShiznit.com: A valuable tool to help you survive a year in the CAGE.

The rules of enCAGEment

1. All Nicolas Cage films must be watched within 1 year! It doesn’t matter which movies you have seen previously or how many times you’ve seen them. This includes everything from 1981’s “Best of Times” to anything in the theaters on the final day of your journey. You'd better start now because Mr. Cage isn't about to stop creating art which means the longer you wait, the harder it gets.

2. You must stay in the CAGE! Once a Nicolas Cage movie is started it should be viewed through to the end credits. Pausing for potty breaks/snacks/beer/emergencies is encouraged, but a movie cannot be checked off the list until it has been completed.

3. Use the CAGElist to track your progress! As you watch each film, you MUST comment on it's respective post here to share your thoughts/experiences and allow others to track your progress. Once your run has been completed, contact the authors of this site to initiate your formal induction into the St. Nicolas Society. (We have a big stack of autographed Nic Cage headshots to hand out)

Top 10 Cage Quotes

1. "No! Not the bees! Not the bees! Ahhh! My eyes! My eyes!" - The Wicker Man

2. "Killing me won't bring back your goddamn honey! You bitches! You bitches!" - The Wicker Man

3. "How, in the name of ZEUS'S BUTTHOLE, did you get out of your cell?" - The Rock

4. "What's in the bag, a SHARK or something?" - The Wicker Man

5. "Why Couldn't you put the bunny back in the box?" - Con Air

6. "What do you say we cut the CHIT-CHAT, A-HOLE?" - The Rock

7. "You mean... my wang?" - Peggy Sue Got Married

8. "And that's what she was there for, to give you a boner. And you got one, congratulations you're human." - Snake Eyes

9. "I'd choose Mr. Ed in a second." - Guarding Tess

10. "You know, I can uh... eat a peach for hours." - Face/Off

document.write(ssyby);

Avoid Cage Burnout!