#33 Sonny


#33 Sonny
Year: 2002
Director: Nicolas Cage
MPAA Rating: R
Epic Co-stars: James Franco, Mena Suvari, Scott Caan
Running Time: 110 minutes
Cage Time: 2 minutes
Cage Kills: 0
Cage (inspired) Flip-outs: 5
Martine's Review: This movie was a "tickle" in just the right place for me. It is almost as if this movie was a love letter from Cage to me. Or maybe not a love letter, but a craigslist personal ad accompanied by a hot dong shot. I could sure use a shot of Vitamin Cage; I'm not afraid of a big needle.

My first thoughts were that this film was going to be a drag because Nicolas doesn't show his gorgeous, sexy face, except for a short cameo. I found instead that I was creaming in my jeans with every shake of the camera, knowing that the direction and every touch in the movie was the sensual caress of Nicolas's hand. Enter James Franco; but I didn't see a young, weird Jimmy F on the screen. No, I just keep on seeing my charming, hot Nicolas. Every line delivered, I hear in Nic's voice.

Knowing that Nicolas controlled every scene made it easy to fantasize him everywhere.

James Franco channels the Nouveau Shamanic style and has 5 epic flip-outs. Every single one was performed to perfection by my Nicolas off-screen moments before the camera captured James Franco's emulation of the glorious master. Oh, to be on the set of this film and watch a strong, powerful Nicolas Cage direct every movement: commanding others to move and speak to his nuanced preference. I wish I was there to let him direct me; command me to make him a sandwich and deliver it to his trailer. I would wear the special perfume and panties to deliver that meat.

Since this is Nicolas' movie, I assumed this is how he likes his women to look. I immediately went and got this haircut.

The movie is about prostitution in New Orleans and follows Sonny, a male prostitute. For the entire duration, Nicolas is flirting with me; if only Nicolas was a male prostitute in New Orleans. The message of the movie is that we're all dirty whores on the inside. I know I am. It's just good to know that Nicolas is too. 

Normally I'm not into girls in any way, but for some reason, when I saw Mena bouncing up and down, I wanted to be under her with a Nicolas Cage face painted on. Or she could have Nicolas' face. Even though Mena Suvari is far from a sexy hunk of Nicolas Cage, she was working for me in this movie, again (I suppose) because of Nic's omnipresence in the film.

The penultimate flirt: playing a gay, big-nosed, ugly-glasses sporting pimp; and he still oozes the masculine musk of sexuality.

Finally Cage graces us with a cameo as a character named "Acid Yellow" where he proves to me that he the pure essence and true form of sex. He disguises himself with a big Jew nose, thick coke-bottle glasses, and acts like a gay pimp. Notwithstanding, I felt a flush of pleasure wave over my body, rippling down to my toes and bringing out a tingling inside me. It was as if the entire movie, Nicolas was creating ever increasing sexual tension between us by blatantly throwing around sex for money, sex for fun, sex for love, rage induced freak outs; then the moment he shows his rugged face, all of the tension breaks. I couldn't keep my eyes from unfocusing and trying to roll back into my head. I was complete. Utterly relaxed.

I will definitely watch this movie again, alone ;)


Movie quotability:
  • "Know I know why your momma always called you a natural born whore."
  • "So what?  I drink beer.  You break shit.  She drink cough syrup.  So what?"
  • "The stick. Use the stick."
  • "I love co-cock!"

Plot Holes:
  • Not everyone in New Orleans drinks Southern Comfort.


CAGEamatic
Cinamatic
Skyler
Acceptable
Acceptable
Shauna
James
3.01/5
2.99/5
Martine
!Enjoyed the Cage!

2 comments:

The Fat Man said...

Only Cage could get James Franco to stink out loud so badly. It was embarrassing to watch, really.

Steve M said...

Oh the misery. The message of this movie is that the Coppola family is like a bunch of whores and while Cage tried to escape, in the end he's just a film directing whore like the rest of them.

Post a Comment