#51 The Ant Bully

#51 The Ant Bully

Year: 2006

Director: John A. Davis

MPAA Rating: PG

Epic Co-stars: Bruce Campbell, Paul Giamatti

Running Time: 88 minutes
Cage Time: 30%
Cage Kills: 0
Cage Flip-outs: 1

Skyler's Review: 

In the Ant Bully, Nic Cage plays a sarcastic ant sorcerer named Zoc. That is trying desperately to brew a potion of Reduce Person. You see, there is a kid out there that likes to mess with the ants' nice little civilization, usually in the form of squirt gun. The ants call the kid, "Peanut the Destroyer." Zoc wants to give the potion to the kid so that he will be easy to kill.

Zoc, a wizard ant who wishes to use his magic to go the greater good for the colony.

The Julia Roberts ant says "No! We can rehabilitate!" They let Peanut try to join the community, but his attitude is terrible. Not surprisingly, the kid learns the way of the ants and they grow to respect each other. Danger happens, then they overcome it together. In the end, Zoc makes an Enlarge Person potion to return Peanut to his family with a new found respect for insects.

Nicolas Cage has been known to play a wizard role

The plot is so trivial, that we had guessed the plot completely before the title credits were through. Also, the humans in this movie were super uncanny. All in all, the movie made us laugh in parts, and Nicolas Cage as a wizard ant shows that his talent knows no bounds.

Movie quotability:

• "Away, monster, or I will use my powers to destroy you... powers that I have yet to perfect."
• "It's Peanut, the Destroyer!"
• "No, wait! We are not mindless savages! We should study the human... and then eat him!"
• Nic: "Curse you, rock! A curse upon your children!" JR: "I don't think rocks have children." Nic: "Well, they won't NOW." 
• "Oh, something HAHAHA, I was worried it was NOTHING!"
• "Will you quit eating, fatso?! It's crowded in here! We need more room!"
• "Zok! How did you get in here?" "Well, I sure didn't get in through the REAR entrance."
• "Uh, definitely NOT, thank you." (you have to imagine Nic Cage saying that)
• "Calling a human a friend... I always thought that was impossible until I met you."

Plot Holes:

• Most of this movie was iron clad, but at the end they really blow it. Why go to all the trouble of shrinking the exterminator when they could just un-shrink the kid?

	CAGEamatic	Cinematic
Skyler	Exceeds Expectations	Acceptable
Shauna
James	3.02/5	2.50/5
Martine	!Stayed in the Cage!

#28 The Sorcerer's Apprentice

#28 The Sorcerer's Apprentice

Year: 2010

Director: Jon Turteltaub
MPAA Rating: PG

Epic Co-stars: Alfred Molina

Running Time: 109 mins
Cage Time: 80%
Cage Kills: 0? Really?
Cage Flip-outs: 0

Shauna's Review: 

At first glance, this movie may seem like an epic let-down for fans of The Cage. No flip outs, no kills--in fact, an oddly calm and self-possessed Cage who never lets an f-bomb fly. However, consider the true depth of Mr Cage's investment   in each and every role, including this one as a steampunk reinvention of a cartoon wizard. Also his devotion to the principles of Nouveau Shamanism, which, let's face it, uniquely qualifies him to become a wizard of the highest caliber in any film, Disney or otherwise. 

Nicolas Cage as the greatest wizards of film. Gandalf, Dumbledore, and Balthazar.

In case you found the fact that they have the same damn title to be an insufficient clue (not naming names, you know who you are), this movie is loosely based on the Fantasia piece of the same name, which was in turn inspired by and set to the musical piece of the same name. If you need a refresher, Mickey gets a bit power-mad and floods his master's man-cave while attempting to use magic to do his chores. Although it seems to last indefinitely, it actually only goes on for 10 minutes, so obviously they needed to expand upon the story line somewhat to stretch this premise to 109 minutes. 

The resemblance is clear, I think.

Mean, mouse-spanking Wizard is reinvented as a kindly but sarcastically awesome Balthazar (Nicolas Cage), complete with semi-historical wardrobe and what I can only assume is real magic. In AD 740, Nic Cage's girlfriend is possessed by the evil Morgana, so he traps her and various other malevolent wizards in a Russian nesting doll set until he can find the Prime Merlinian, Merlin's successor. [Yes, we did spend most of the movie wondering why the kid would be called the Prime Meridian.] Of course this turns out to be some obnoxious kid who gets more screen time than Nic Cage, much to the movie's detriment. Balthazar mentors Kid (the titular "apprentice") who can then for some reason defeat Morgana and assorted baddies despite being unable to control a mop. [Yes, they recreate the original premise in what is undoubtedly the worst scene in the movie. Best to leave these things in the twentieth century, folks.] Nevertheless, Nic Cage does get to drive several very fast/ expensive cars, which seems to be his main prerequisite before agreeing to any (every) project. 

Witness the power of the Nouveau Shaman!

The trailer makes it look like part of the Batman franchise, but it shares a director (Turteltaub) and producer (Bruckheimer) with National Treasure, and the similarities can be seen in the film's humor and tone. As someone with juvenile taste in movies (or what I like to think of as "a childlike sense of wonder"), I enjoyed both. Nic Cage seems to get a kick out of playing this wry, laconic, determinedly optimistic sorcerer and mentor. I mean, he gets to wear a leather fedora and a badass cloak, so I think the appeal is pretty straightforward. This movie won't make the top 10 or the best quotes list, but it's amusing to watch-- easy without being simple. 

Movie quotability:

• Dave: "How'd you know my name was Dave?" Balthazar:  "Because I CAN READ MINDS! ... It's on your backpack."
• Dave: "These are old man shoes." Balthazar: "Excuse me."
• "What ever happened to 'don't touch anything'?"
• "I had a dream. You were insulting me, Dave. Repeatedly."
• Skyler: "'Hey, Nic Cage, do you want to drive a badass car?' 'Yes, what do I have to do?' 'You're a sorcerer.' 'I don't give a shit.'" 
• James: "This movie is actually pretty good."

Plot Holes:

• Somehow elementary school teacher finds Dave after he wanders many blocks away in NYC, down side alleys and INTO a fucking BUILDING, OUT OF SIGHT. 
• Shouldn't Balthazar be able to beat Horvatz in a battle, since he has had 1600 years to practice getting better at magic, while Horvatz has been stuck in a doll?
• Dave fixes the radio station by pushing buttons on a scope. 
• Train doesn't stop at train station.
• Undergrad physics student has incredible funding that allows for a secret lair and a bunch of probably expensive techy-Tesla-stuff.
• Evil sorcerers run away from pipsqueak.
• Horvath doesn't use the parasite spell on Dave, so he shouldn't get his power.
• College student radio plays top pop music.

	CAGEamatic	Cinamatic
Skyler	Outstanding	Exceeds Expectations
Shauna
James	3.51/5	3.18/5
Martine	!Stayed in the cage with One Republic!