#1 The Rock
Director: Michael Bay
Epic Co-stars: Sean ConneryRunning Time: 136 mins
Cage Time: ~55%
Cage Kills: 3
Cage Flip-outs: 7
Shauna's Review: In my mind, the only question is, “The Rock- great Nicolas Cage movie... or greatest Nicolas Cage movie?” The Rock is an ideal showcase for Nic Cage’s trademark intensity, witty/cheesy bon mots, and querulous eyebrows, making it (in my opinion) one of his best films.
In true Michael Bay style, The Rock’s simplistic script is merely a vehicle for dramatic camera angles, explosive car chases, and uber-dramatic moments (sprinkled liberally throughout). Nicolas Cage fits handily into this scenario with his constantly-furrowed brow, his near-whisper dialogue and his comically serious temper tantrums. Cage is perfectly partnered with Sean Connery, whose calm Scottish sarcasm provides an excellent counterpoint to Cage’s mega-acting. (Excellent actor Ed Harris is also in this movie, which makes you wonder... why is Ed Harris in this movie?)
If you’re a fan of comically ridiculous dialogue, hilariously thin plot lines, and seriously over-acted scenarios, you can’t go wrong with The Rock (see also: Face/Off). Movies where Nic Cage cracks a smile are highly overrated.
All he wants to do is find the Truth/ save the world, and the clock is ticking... so GET OUT OF HIS FREAKIN WAY, PEOPLE.
This is some serious shit. This is no place for smiles.
Movie quotability: 4/5
Favorite quote: “What do you say we cut the CHIT-CHAT, A-HOLE?!”
- "How, in the name of ZEUS' BUTTHOLE, did you get out of your cell?!"
- "I love pressure. I eat it for breakfast. "
- "You know, I like history too, and maybe when this is all over you and I can stop by the souvenir shop together but right now I just... I just wanna find some rockets! "
- "It's you. You're the Rocket Man."
- "Well, gosh... kind of a lot's happened since then."
- "FBI! Freeze, sucker!"
- The "good guy" government officials risked the lives of millions in order to not spend $100M (minuscule by federal budget standards) on compensation for deserving families of fallen war heroes. Total Jerks.
- When Dr. Stanley Goodspeed unscrews the rocket in the lighthouse, he turns the screwdriver the wrong way as made obvious by the constant ratcheting sound. What an idiot.
- SPOILER: Although General Hummel redirects the rocket away from the football stadium to detonate "safely" in the San Francisco bay, wouldn't there still be some negative effects from this detonation, either in the water or spreading through the air from the point of impact, since the VX gas crystals are supposedly very fragile? While we're at it, why are the lights on at the stadium if it's noon?