#45 Adaptation.


#45 Adaptation
Year: 2002
Director: Spike Jonze
MPAA Rating: R
Epic Co-stars: Meryl Streep, Chris Cooper, that guy from Office Space
Running Time: 114 min
Cage Time: 
Cage Kills: 
Cage Flip-outs: 1
Skyler's Review: 
Charlie Kaufman (Nicolas Cage) is writing a screenplay about the Orchid Thief and wants to stay true to the book and not snesationalize it with sex, action, love, just for the sake of Hollywood.

I'm already ruining this review. I can't spell. Without those red squiggles, I can't spell a thing. I'm so pathetic. No one will want to read this review. But maybe that is OK, since I am keeping with the movie. Who cares about the audience. If the audience doesn't like it they can read some other blog. It's not my responsibility to write garbage just because the average internet user has the equivalent of a 2nd grade education. I do want them to like me, though.

This movie is worth watching if just for seeing TWO Nicolas Cages on screen.

Dr. Cage also plays Charlie Kaufman's fictional twin brother, Donald. Donald lays around all the time on the ground, and wants to also become a screenwriter, but wants to go to a costly seminar about screenwriting that almost sounds like a scam. Charlie says this is stupid, because a seminar will never help you write something new, which should be the goal for all writers.

 This isn't going well. This isn't interesting at all. I wanted to write something interesting and original, and I'm just sitting here and can't even think about how to recap this movie. I can't find an anmiated gif for this review. I'm terrible.

The story Charlie is writing is about a man (named Laroche) who goes into the swamps in Florida and poaches orchids. He takes Seminole tribe members with him to try and avoid the law, saying that the natives are allowed to poach plants. The goal for Laroche is to poach the 'ghost orchid', which is very rare. Then he plans to cultivate them and sell them for a bunch of money. Then if people can buy the ghost orchid in stores, the flower would be better protected from poachers by decreasing its rarity. Also, you can make drugs.

Why don't girls look at me the way they look at Nicolas Cage. Is it because I'm bald? Women just like confidence; how can I have confidence if I am bald? Maybe I can grow a mustache. I think women like mustaches, or at least a certain kind of woman. I wonder if I would know what to do with the kind of woman that likes mustaches. What if I can't grow a mustache?

The meta-Cage of this movie is amazing. Not only is there Nicolas Cage playing two people (Charlie and Donald), but at one point you get to see Nicolas Cage play Donald acting as Charlie. Good stuff.

Laroche is all about passion and collecting. All he wants is orchids. Before that, he was obsessed with other things. At 10 years old he collected turtles  until he gave up on them and trashed his collection. Then at 17 he collected fish, then one morning woke up and said "fuck fish" and now won't step foot in the ocean. Then he moved on to collecting something else.

If I can just end this review with an exciting animated gif, people will still like it. It doesn't even need to fit with the rest of the review. The audience won't care. I'll find a gif. That's what this needs.

As some point in the movie, we realize that the movie is a meta-movie, because the movie that is playing out is the screenplay that Charlie is currently writing. This becomes clear when Charlie has a breakthrough about how to start the movie. He repeats an echo of what we actually see as at the start of the movie. Toward the end, Charlie writes something and then we see it happen on screen.

This is obviously not from the movie, but is pretty awesome.
Movie quotability:
  • Maybe if I were happier my hair wouldn't be falling out?
  • You are what you love, not what loves you.
  • I can't believe I got shot.  Isn't that fucked up?
Plot Holes:
  • None.


CAGEamatic
Cinematic
Skyler
Exceeds Expectations
Exceeds Expectations
Shauna
James
4.80/5
4.50/5
Martine
!Stayed in the CAGE!

4 comments:

Ian Huff said...

Adaptation. isn't your typical Nicolas Cage flick. The movies is thoughtful and insightful but still, Nic Cage manges to bring a few laughs.

What's the only thing better than one Cage? Two.

James Ayers said...

Great review and complete with lame Hollywood ending. Excellent

Steve M said...

You are all a bunch of liars, this is the biggest piece of garbage I've had to watch for at least a week or two. The script is utterly confusing and boring, I actually tried jabbing my eyes out to see if that would be more interesting.

Part of my problem is that I disliked Charlie and Donald because they were creepy and disgusting. Then I realized that was because Cage was actually doing a great job playing the roles even if the movie was a real dog.

Holes:
1) A car bell doesn't chime when the passenger's door opens.
2) Susan says that she can hear Charlie and Donald breathing, but apparently can't hear them yacking like old women at a quilting bee.
3) Meryl Streep is not an object of sexual desire.

James Ayers said...

Plot hole number 3 is a solid one. The film almost doesn't work because if it...

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