#49 Christmas Carol: The Movie

#49 Christmas Carol: The Movie

Year: 2001

Director: Jimmy T. Murakami
MPAA Rating: PG

Epic Co-stars: Kate Winslet

Running Time: 77 mins
Cage Time: 4%
Cage Kills: 0
Cage Flip-outs: 0

Skyler's Review: 

Someone spent $10 million on this animated movie. It must be some sort of money laundering thing because it is terrible. The movie starts off and you think to yourself, "This is one of those animated movies from the 80s". The animation is surely pre-Beauty and the Beast. I mean, look at it. The frame rate is low, the animation is drawn, not rendered.

This is one frame of Nicolas Cage as a ghost. You've almost seen the whole scene now.

Then you look to see the year that this movie came out and see "2001". What! Then you start to think, "Was animation still that bad in 2001?" No. Other movies that came out that year: Shrek, Monsters Inc., Harry Potter 1, and Lord of the Rings 1.

Why was this movie made? It's not as good as Muppet Christmas Carol, to be sure. Did this movie come before the Muppets? No, the Muppets actually preceded this disaster by 9 years.

The movie isn't even a "as true to the story as possible" thing. There are mice EVERYWHERE. Are they all going to die of the plague? I don't remember this in the book. In fact, the story is barely recognizable at all. Except for that guy named "Scrooge" and the title of the movie.

Nicolas Cage is excellent as always.

Movie quotability:

• "Ooooohhhhh [loud chain sounds]."

Plot Holes:

• The fact that this movie was even made.  Do we really need yet another animated rendition of this movie?  Never mind one that is presented in such a lame, cliched style?

	CAGEamatic	Cinematic
Skyler	Dreadful	Troll
Shauna
James	0.15/5	0.04/5
Martine	!Bonded with Shauna in the Cage!

#31 Best of Times

#31 Best of Times

Year: 1981

Director: Don Mischer
MPAA Rating: N/A

Epic Co-stars: Crispin Glover

Running Time: 48 mins
Cage Time: 35%
Cage Kills: 0
Cage Flip-outs: 0

James' Review:  As a 33 year old man in 2012 I can safely say that watching "The Best of Times" was truly some of The Worst of Times spent in the CAGE thus far.  This movie is in fact not a movie at all, but the pilot episode for a teen television series that was never picked up.  The show chronicled a group of friends going through the trials and tribulations of high-school life and was complete with monologues to the camera and cookie cutter personality stereotypes.  

Upon closer inspection it is easy to see that this was the first shot a what eventually turned into "Saved By the Bell".  A loose breakdown of characters is as follows (no need to use the best of times character names, because they are the same damn names as the actors):

• Zack Morris = Crispen Glover
• A.C. Slater = Nicolas Coppola (before he changed his name)
• Kelly Kapowski =  Jill Schoelen
• Lisa Turtle = Julie Piekarski
• Screech Powers = David Rambo
• Jessie Spano = Lisa Hope Ross
• Mr. Belding = Jackie Mason (who plays Mr. O'Reilly)

Best of Times tried to reach a philosophical and political depth not attained by Saved by the Bell and this could very well be the reason for it's demise.  The show often felt like it was trying a bit too hard with its characters and lacked direction with it's plot.  At times I wasn't sure if I was watching a variety show, or something with an actual plot.

Nicolas Cage's performance has inspired some fan art by
the folks over at Cagealot Castle.

The best part of this viewing was seeing a young and wholesome Nicolas Coppola embracing his Nouveau Shamanic style at such an early age.  Best of Times is also where he originated his one-handed push-ups (later seen again in Red Rocks West) and in cuttoffs on the beach.  His ego is larger than life as a "jock" who seems to bully everyone around him including his "best friend" Crispin.  

The bottom line is that anyone who isn't spending A Year in the Cage should never watch this movie.  If you are craving some hot young Nic Cage and just gotta have it, then just watch this video rather than suffering through the entire uncomfortable thing.  If you are spending a A Year in the Cage you should consider the next 48 minutes of your life a total loss and just realize that in the end you will look back on this as a character building experience...  Here it is, get to it!

Movie quotability:

• "HAA  That's what turns women on!"
• "I am the most beautiful man you have ever seen.  My magnificent biceps drive you wild with desire."

Plot Holes:

• You can see the microphone boom in the mirror when Kevin is on the phone.
• 3rd degree burns from an iron is funny.
• The gang goes to a water park fully clothed.
• Denim was not worn by the Oregon Trail pioneers as suggested in the film (it wasn't invented yet)

	CAGEamatic	Cinamatic
Skyler	Acceptable	Troll
Shauna
James	3.28/5	1.43/5
Martine	!Doesn't stoop to Made for TV material!